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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Please don't YELL AT ME
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amother
Hibiscus


 

Post Sun, Aug 01 2021, 6:39 am
SingleAgain, I have a master’s degree in sociolinguistics so my perspective is shaped by that. In the world of sociolinguistics, language users are not lumped into groups where some users are considered to be more correct than others. The conversation you posted has judgy younger people mocking their parents because the younger group has a different way of using ellipses than the older group. What makes one way more correct than another? It’s an arbitrary convention agreed upon by some of the younger people that ends up being used as a way to differentiate themselves from their parents. Will it end up being the standard way of using ellipses? Maybe, and maybe not—I am old enough to have seen plenty of things pop up and then fade away.

Language is rich and complex, language users are diverse rather than monolithic, and “rules” about texting conventions are not universal by any means, especially when communicating intergenerationally. You seem to think that if this vendor knew “the rule” he would immediately switch to the “correct” way. Is that necessarily the case if he has been using all caps for years and it’s worked fine for him? My fil uses all caps and is a very successful businessman who makes multimillion deals all the time. Numerous posters have told you they don’t think the all caps thing is a big deal. You insist that language is evolving and we all must make sure to keep up to date on the ever-changing rules. Is it possible (and I say this only with respect, not to criticize) that you are more of a black and white thinker? Is it possible that you feel good when you follow rules, and other people not following “rules” bothers you more than it would bother most people?
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amother
Starflower


 

Post Sun, Aug 01 2021, 9:08 am
Off topic, but my mil always writes in ALL CAPS handwritten grocery list, thank you notes, memos etc.

Is it a coincidence that she's a yeller in general?
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amother
Leaf


 

Post Sun, Aug 01 2021, 9:10 am
amother [ Starflower ] wrote:
Off topic, but my mil always writes in ALL CAPS handwritten grocery list, thank you notes, memos etc.

Is it a coincidence that she's a yeller in general?


are you my sis in law?
my MIL does the same!!
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amother
Viola


 

Post Sun, Aug 01 2021, 9:24 am
amother [ Starflower ] wrote:
Off topic, but my mil always writes in ALL CAPS handwritten grocery list, thank you notes, memos etc.

Is it a coincidence that she's a yeller in general?

Rolling Laughter
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 03 2021, 8:41 am
amother [ Hibiscus ] wrote:
SingleAgain, I have a master’s degree in sociolinguistics so my perspective is shaped by that. In the world of sociolinguistics, language users are not lumped into groups where some users are considered to be more correct than others. The conversation you posted has judgy younger people mocking their parents because the younger group has a different way of using ellipses than the older group. What makes one way more correct than another? It’s an arbitrary convention agreed upon by some of the younger people that ends up being used as a way to differentiate themselves from their parents. Will it end up being the standard way of using ellipses? Maybe, and maybe not—I am old enough to have seen plenty of things pop up and then fade away.

Language is rich and complex, language users are diverse rather than monolithic, and “rules” about texting conventions are not universal by any means, especially when communicating intergenerationally. You seem to think that if this vendor knew “the rule” he would immediately switch to the “correct” way. Is that necessarily the case if he has been using all caps for years and it’s worked fine for him? My fil uses all caps and is a very successful businessman who makes multimillion deals all the time. Numerous posters have told you they don’t think the all caps thing is a big deal. You insist that language is evolving and we all must make sure to keep up to date on the ever-changing rules. Is it possible (and I say this only with respect, not to criticize) that you are more of a black and white thinker? Is it possible that you feel good when you follow rules, and other people not following “rules” bothers you more than it would bother most people?


I don't mean to not answer right away. But I do find this conversation interesting. I'm going to copy paste the bits of your post that I'm responding directly to

Quote:
In the world of sociolinguistics, language users are not lumped into groups where some users are considered to be more correct than others.


That was not my point or intention. But sometimes it's important to consider the background of a person. I know some ppl who really hate the word "axed" but besides for being part of English vernacular since Chaucer (according to a quick Google search) it's important to realize that AAVE is an acceptable dialect of English.

Quote:
The conversation you posted has judgy younger people mocking their parents because the younger group has a different way of using ellipses than the older group. What makes one way more correct than another?


I don't think the conversation was judgy at all. It was simply showing how the different generations communicate. Communication is always evolving. And especially on the internet and over text of any kind, ever there is no tone, the visual representation of the words matter. I mean.. look at this and tell me that you wouldn't take the top one more seriously bc of the typeface



The confusion is actually one reason emojis were invented. I'm taking the original colon, close parentheses style of emoji. That is actually a different and fascinating history... If anyone is interested:



Quote:
Language is rich and complex, language users are diverse rather than monolithic, and “rules” about texting conventions are not universal by any means, especially when communicating intergenerationally.


I am very well aware that language is changing, and yes this vendor might not be aware of the etiquette that does not take away the fact that when I read his emails, I feel like a little kid who is getting yelled at. I am a 35 year olds woman and mistakes happen, even in the thousands of dollars, which is rarely is, that still doesn't mean I should be yelled at. I don't think I'm the only one who feels yelled at. Maybe I'm just the only one it bothers enough to want to say something.

When etiquette changes it had to be explained. Especially when as you said it's intergenerational. I've read so many Dear Abby type letters about these types of issues. Voicemail for example, the younger generation often doesn't leave or listen to voicemail. In fact, I believe some ppl don't bother to set up their voicemail. They often communicate solely by text and other non-vocal methods. Until that is properly explained to one or both generations there will be a lot of miscommunication.

Quote:
Is it possible (and I say this only with respect, not to criticize) that you are more of a black and white thinker?


This made me laugh, bc I am so far from a black and white thinker. Just bc I'm sensative to this one area, doesn't mean that. I am one of the least black and white thinkers I know. Give me any hot button issue and I will probably be able to argue both sides. Javert is one of the best villains precisely because he sees the world in black and white.

I do my very best not to be. Most tics don't bother me.

I can put up with a lot but I do not deserved to be yelled at bc the other guys sales man forgot to tell his bookkeeper that there was a change in the invoice and no, I don't owe that 21 dollars. The price was changed.
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