Where d oyou draw the line??

momof2and2

Mon, Mar 17 2008, 1:09 pm

What about mailing Purim Cards (for a small donation) instead? We really just give to the kids teachers, our parents and that is it. It can really get out of hand so that is where we had to draw the line.
SO ALL MY FRIENDS OUT THERE DO NOT BE OFFENDED IT IS NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST Smile

Hadassa Avra

Mon, Mar 17 2008, 1:14 pm

We basically set the limit at 10 (plus morahs now the kids are in daycare). For the most part it's the same people every year. We've also decided to cut down the amount in each.

Most people will not be offended if they gave you & you didn't give to them. We are all in the same boat of not being able to give to every person we know and would like to give to.

montrealmommy

Wed, Mar 19 2008, 11:21 pm

I think when you feel you are overwhelmed and losing sight of the mitzvah and simply playing keeping up with the Cohens, or 'what will they think' then it's time to draw the line.

My dh spoke with his Rebbe a few years ago about this and this is what he was told (advice, not pasken):

the true purpose is to give to someone you would not usually give a gift to (ie. this is an olive branch) - to make Shalom. So each dh and I should think of someone we offended or hurt or we may have had ill feelings towards and they should be a recipient.

Since Purim is a time of gratitude to Hashem for the nissim he performs (hidden and otherwise), and we never know how much a a person or family has really help us, each dh and I choose 1 person each to whom we feel great hakaros hatov

Lastly, since it is written 'assei lecha rav' - it is proper to acknowledge that individual.

This is in the order or priority - so when things are tights, only the l'sheim shalom is sent out, etc...

So we give 6. This year we have teachers for our kids, so we are adding them and we are spending Shabbos with my parents so we will bring them something small too.

We enjoy the ones we give and when someone brings us something we simply say thank you and a freilechen purim. Some years I have prepared a large batch of hamentashen and something alchoholic and keep it available - when people come by we offer them one or both!

Marion

Thu, Mar 20 2008, 2:11 am

momof2and2 wrote:

What about mailing Purim Cards (for a small donation) instead?

This is a custom I have come to hate. Donations are NOT in lieu of mishloach manot! They can fulfill the mitzvah of matanot l'evyonim (gifts for the poor), but they are not edible and are not mishloach manot.