3 kids, 2 rooms. Who should share?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 4:25 am

I've got girls aged 5 and 9 and a 7 year old boy.

Currently the two oldest share and the youngest has a bed in our room. I've tried putting all 3 in together but younger DD disturbs the other 2 and it always ends badly.

Anyway, we will hopefully be moving soon but the new apartment will probably only have 3 bedrooms, so 2 kids will have to share and one will have a room to themselves.

We were originally planning on moving a while ago and I just assumed the 2 girls would share, but lately they've always fighting. Oldest DD has been saying for a long time how much she'd love to have her own room. DS also said he would like his own room but I don't think he has given it much thought, I think he is only saying it because DD has been talking about it.

It feels unfair that one child will get their own room while the other two have to share. How have other people dealt with the situation?

amother

PlumPink

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 4:38 am

Your 9 year old daughter is getting to the age where she will not want to share a room with her brother.
If one of the rooms in the new apartment is bigger or obviously better in some other way, then give it to the two girls. You can always invest in a screen or run a curtain down the middle of the room if need be. Lots of children have survived sharing a room.

Elfrida

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 4:40 am

When they get a bit older you'll have to separate the girls and the boy. Moving to.a new house is probably the ideal time to do this.

For now you may as well leave things as they are. Not everything is fair.

salt

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 4:40 am

2 girls in one.
Boy in the other.

Raisin

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 4:46 am

look up ways to divide the room creatively. I saw this for example. https://www.thesun.ie/fabulous.....half/

definitely put the two girls together.

Teomima

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 5:57 am

2 girls together. They'll have to learn to work it out. But there are ways to divide a room, either physically building a separation or designating sides, that give each child their own private space.

amother

NeonBlue

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 6:04 am

Everyone agreeing! I say the same:-)

geemum

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 6:12 am

I say different actually:

I would give oldest daughter her own room, son and younger daughter share.

My thinking is that in a few years down the line, you're son will need to have his own room (at 11/12 years old for example) as it would be unsuitable for him to share with a sister. So I would give the oldest daughter her own room while it's possible, explaining that when son is older, she'll move in with her sister.

amother

Hydrangea

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 6:12 am

You’ve gotten used to the way it’s been and you don’t want to deal with a change but let me tell you that it’s very normal for girls to share a room even if there’s a 4 year age difference. It will only be a little challenging for the first couple of days since they aren’t used to sleeping together but it will work out and be the new normal. Your son will obviously have to get the smallest room in the new house since he’s the only boy. And btw 3-4 kids can share a room if there are few bedrooms. It’s really strange for a 5 year old to sleep in parents bedroom. 5 is big. That’s really only done on a very temporary basis. Get bunk beds for the girls. Let each child be proud of his/ her own space.
My friends brother slept in the living room (which had a door) since there were only 2 bedrooms and 4 sisters in the bedroom. Until his bar mitzvah he slept in the kids bedroom. Kids sharing a room is normal and an only boy or girl sleeping alone is normal. Making a change is only hard for a few days.

amother

Currant

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 6:29 am

I agree with geemum my two girls 5 and 8 can't stay together because the older one keeps the younger one up at night. And wakes her up to early in the morning. We took out 8 yr old. Put ds almost 7 that had his own room until then, together with his younger sister he complained after the switch but we told them one day we will switch it. As far as fighting. When d.s complained I told him one day he will have to share a room with a wife. Learn to get to know your sister. B"h it takes time but room sharers end up having good relationships

amother

Sand

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 6:34 am

amother [ Currant ] wrote:

B"h it takes time but room sharers end up having good relationships

Not necessarily. I shared a room with my sister for eight years, and we never had a good relationship. It calmed down when we got separate rooms, because we weren't in each others face all the time, but to this day we don't get on well.

amother

Mimosa

Wed, Aug 18 2021, 9:31 am

I would say put the girls together. There's enough of a age gap that they should have different bedtimes so they shouldn't annoy each other then.

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