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Why can’t we have puppy’s without being labeled weird?!😕
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Sparkle1




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 21 2021, 10:03 pm
Wondering why I got responses on shabbos I thought this was a Jewish site?!?
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 21 2021, 10:06 pm
Sparkle1 wrote:
Wondering why I got responses on shabbos I thought this was a Jewish site?!?

People live all over the world and have different time zones.
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corolla




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 21 2021, 10:09 pm
There is such a high level of people who are afraid of dogs in the frum community specifically because having a dog is (was) uncommon. Just saying.

P.S. I want a puppy more than anything!!
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 21 2021, 10:15 pm
I agree with FF on being careful about breeds and knowing what you want in a pet. Every individual dog will be different, but there are some breed traits associated with many/most dogs of that breed. Piggybacking off FF's post...

(Generalizations ahead...)

Huskies are very smart, but difficult to train without an expert on board. They can turn wild under novice training.

Golden retrievers are good family pets, tend to have good temperaments, easy to train.

Chihuahuas are small and overcompensate for it in attitude.

German Shepherds are blazing smart, extremely trainable (if you know what you're doing), but can be trained to be vicious as well. They make exceptional service dogs. Plus, I personally could never get over their history...

Australian Shepherds and other herding/cattle dogs are high energy and need a lot of space. Smart, stubborn, need qualified trainers.

Poodles are not as docile as many people think, but the poodle MIXES (labradoodles, golden doodles, etc.) are usually pretty tame, depending on what they're mixed with. They also tend to shed less, so that's a plus.

Dalmatians are terrible family pet choices. They are difficult to train and are inherently bad with kids.

--

My husband wants a dog but I don't, so we have a cat. I grew up with dogs. They take a lot of work and complicate your plans if you want to go away even for a day or two.

Oh, and make sure the breed of dog you want to get is welcome in your living space (apartment rules, etc.). Some "restricted breeds" are hard to get a lease with. For example, pit bulls. (Pit bulls aren't always vicious, but they are used frequently for "dog fights" and some of their breed traits make them potentially more dangerous if they DO attack someone.)
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Sparkle1




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 21 2021, 10:17 pm
I live in a very frum community where it just won’t fly when I was younger my parents would tell me I can get one when I’m married thinking I will grow out of it but the desire never went away If I get one everyone will know about it and I’ll be called strange so I’m sort of stuck and just venting about it wish the world wouldn’t be so in a box
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Sparkle1




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 21 2021, 10:18 pm
I would love a yorkie or a moltese
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 21 2021, 11:55 pm
I have no skin in this game, OP, so let me explain: Frum people are not supposed to have tamei animals in their homes. In some circles like Lubavitch they won’t allow even a picture or cartoon of a tref animal, let alone the real thing. Don’t give your Lubavitcher friend a onesie with a little teddy bear or frog embroidered on it for her baby because it will be gotten rid of pronto. The identical onesie with a chick or a lamb is fine.

Some tref animals are accepted, but only if they are working animals and not just pets. A horse, donkey or camel provides transportation; a dog herds sheep or scares off thieves; a cat controls the mouse population. And even then, only the cat would be likely to be allowed in the house, and then only because that’s where the food is kept. A tref animal that’s just a pet is a very unfrum concept.

Needless to say not all circles hold this way. But if you consider yourself yeshivish-to-charedi or want to fit in to the yeshivish-to-charedi world, do yourself and your kids a favor and get a duck.
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 21 2021, 11:59 pm
I love dogs as well. I feel like one reason frum people don't get dogs is because they take time and energy and money and are almost like another child. For this reason I know more people in Lakewood with cats than dogs.
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BH Yom Yom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 22 2021, 12:07 am
OP, can you volunteer with a local dog rescue group? That would be a way for you to spend time with dogs regularly, but without having to deal with the challenges of your community, plus the cost and commitment.

For everyone who got a “Covid pet,” please please recognize that adoption is a commitment for the lifetime of the pet - take good care of them. Unfortunately in many cities animals are being returned to the shelters because people are back at work or got bored with taking care of their pet once Covid restrictions started lifting.
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banana split




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 22 2021, 1:37 am
BadTichelDay wrote:
We got a puppy a few weeks ago. She's in a difficult (for us) phase now, chewing up everything, having "accidents" in the house and snapping with her sharp little teeth at everyone's ankles. In our community, DL in Israel, dogs are perfectly acceptable. Several neighbors have dogs. Our children's friends are not deterred from coming at all, they just all jump onto the couch and raise their feet out of the puppy's range and shriek with laughter. Can't see any shidduch danger, unless the puppy keeps biting ankles for the next 10 years or so and then bites future shidduchees into their feet (sincerely hope we have her trained by then) LOL
But it probably depends what community the OP lives in.

Hang in there! We were in that stage about a year ago amd it gets so much easier !
The only bad part of having the neighbors come by when they are puppies is that some of the kids still think he bites when he is the calmest and cutest dog ever.
OP go for it!
We are one of those “normal” families who got a puppy during covid.
I actually respectfully disagree with FF- go the breeder way and hire a trainer once a week. Get the kids involved. You get to train your own dog and they won’t develop bad habits if you’re consistent. We got a dog from the pound because we were trying to go that route and was a disaster. The dog had real behaviour issues that the pound recommended we return her bec we had kids in the house and it was dangerous.
You can def pm me for info if you want to go ahead with getting a dog.
It is def not the norm in our community but it is the best thing we’ve ever done for our children. Gets better every day bh.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 22 2021, 10:16 am
Banana split, not all rescue dogs have a history of abuse and psychological disorders. Some do, so for sure, you make sure you tell the pound that there will be children in the house. I find that most rescue dogs are insanely grateful to you, and are even more loyal than pure breeds. It's like they know you saved them.

A well bred pure breed is not a bad thing. Just be aware that some breeds, and some bloodlines, are too inbred. They are prone to blindness, deafness, hip and elbow dysplasia, and some of them are just plain stupid. They've had all their brains bred out of them, in search of that "perfect coat pattern."

A reliable breeder will have spent more than $400 per puppy in vet visits and health certifications before they are ready to go to a new home. Anything less, and they've been cutting corners. A show quality dog will be $800 and up, a pet quality dog will be around $600. Depending on how rare the dog is, the sky is the limit on how much they will cost.

Keep in mind the halachic problems of getting a puppy. If you adopt from the pound, they've already been spayed or neutered by a non-Jew, and given up to date vaccines. That's what's covered in an adoption fee, and it barely covers the shelter's expenses. '

I absolutely agree with you that if you don't know anything about dog training, that the whole family should be involved in the classes. Everyone has to be on the same page, and someone has to be the designated Alpha. If there is any confusion, your dog will test everyone until he figures out who's in charge. If nobody is in charge, he'll be happy to fill the position. 🐶
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 5:13 am
Sparkle1 wrote:
I want a puppy so badly I’ve actually been wanting one since I’m little but it’s not excepted in my community and I don’t want to be viewed as weird and have trouble doing shidduchim later on!! Our great grandparents all had cats to deal with their mice so not fair! Can someone please start a movement to make it exceptable in the frum world
It is not the frum world at large. It is unfortunately the charedi world.
In my dati elumi ccommunity, so many people have dogs and other pets as well. And its completely acceptable.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 7:03 am
Everyone told me that "Jews don't have dogs in Israel."

When I made Aliyah to Nahariya, the first thing I saw when I got off the train, was the biggest Neapolitan Mastiff that I've ever seen in my life! Surprised It was more like a pony than a dog. You could put a saddle on it and give toddlers rides around the neighborhood.

Since then, I've seen dogs all over the place, with the exception of Charedi neighborhoods. One thing I've noticed is that even chiloni dog owners are super respectful. If they are walking toward you with a dog, they will automatically pull the dog way to the side, so you won't be frightened by it. No matter how big or small the dog, every single one I've seen gets pulled to the side. I have never been lunged at or barked at, either. Compared to a lot of American dog owners, Israelis are much better handlers.

I had a great interaction with some people in Nahariya. There were some guys hanging out in front of a house, young guys with tattoos, funky haircuts, smoking cigarettes, etc. They had a red nosed Pitbull with them.

I crossed the street towards them, and they looked wary. I'm sure they thought I was going to cuss them out for having a Pitbull. Instead, I asked to pet her, and told them how gorgeous she was. She had a perfect head and body structure, and obviously was extremely well bred. The dog was so well mannered, and the guys were amazed that this Charedi looking middle aged woman was talking about "show quality" to them!

Then they had the dog go through a whole range of fancy tricks. It was incredible the things they had taught her to do, and how focused she was on her owner. I felt perfectly safe the whole time, safer than I would feel with a hyperactive Chihuahua.

I had to get back home, but I thanked them for their time and wished them a good day. I think it's important to "make bridges", and show people that a religious person is more than just the exterior. They guys may have looked like "no good hoodlums", but they were actually super sweet and open.

It's worth it to get to know people who look different than you do, because you may have more in common than you think.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 7:10 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
Everyone told me that "Jews don't have dogs in Israel."
This is so strange to hear. I heard the opposite Smile
But it may depend on communities Smile
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BadTichelDay




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 7:17 am
shabbatiscoming wrote:
This is so strange to hear. I heard the opposite Smile
But it may depend on communities Smile


Definitely depends. In our community a lot of families have dogs. But I read some time ago that one town on the frummer spectrum, forget if it was Elkana or El'ad, made a local ruling that keeping dogs is forbidden unless they serve a specific purpose (like for the blind).
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 7:28 am
In my community, it is common to own a dog! Shabbos afternoon, everyone is walking dogs! We are yeshivish.
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 7:31 am
Btw you can also rescue puppies from shelters. Sometimes a dog comes into the shelter that's pregnant but you'd probably have to put yourself on a list until one becomes available because those puppies tend to be in higher demand.

It is nice to adopt an older dog because those are typically most in need of rescue, but it you only wanted to go the puppy route, you don't have to give up the idea of getting one from a shelter.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 8:19 am
WhatFor wrote:
Btw you can also rescue puppies from shelters. Sometimes a dog comes into the shelter that's pregnant but you'd probably have to put yourself on a list until one becomes available because those puppies tend to be in higher demand.

It is nice to adopt an older dog because those are typically most in need of rescue, but it you only wanted to go the puppy route, you don't have to give up the idea of getting one from a shelter.


All very true. Still, if this is the first dog you've ever had, I don't recommend getting a puppy. You have NO idea how much work they are, and how much stuff they can chew the moment you take your eyes off of them. When your child's beloved stuffed animal gets destroyed, you're going to be rethinking your choices. (BTDT!)
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greenhelm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:33 am
banana split wrote:
Hang in there! We were in that stage about a year ago amd it gets so much easier !
The only bad part of having the neighbors come by when they are puppies is that some of the kids still think he bites when he is the calmest and cutest dog ever.
OP go for it!
We are one of those “normal” families who got a puppy during covid.
I actually respectfully disagree with FF- go the breeder way and hire a trainer once a week. Get the kids involved. You get to train your own dog and they won’t develop bad habits if you’re consistent. We got a dog from the pound because we were trying to go that route and was a disaster. The dog had real behaviour issues that the pound recommended we return her bec we had kids in the house and it was dangerous.
You can def pm me for info if you want to go ahead with getting a dog.
It is def not the norm in our community but it is the best thing we’ve ever done for our children. Gets better every day bh.


So true that you really do have to hang in there with puppies! Our dog (Germans shepherd mix) was such a little monster baby when we got her - good thing she was cute! My son got the worst of it- he always wore snow boots around her because she was all teeth all the time at first. Thank goodness she’s settled down.
Puppies are a long haul, for sure- ours is almost a year old and she’s still a work in progress.
For me, however, it’s not just making sure she’s housebroken- she needs to be a good doggy citizen. Dogs, unlike cats, need to be outside and mix in the community so they can’t be jerks. This is especially true of large dogs, like mine. My neighbour has a toy poodle who can bark at kids all day and it doesn’t matter, but my dog looks scary and could cause a lot of damage if she got the notion (she never has, thank goodness!) so it is my responsibility to make sure she is a good doggy ambassador and above reproach.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 10:40 am
BadTichelDay wrote:
Definitely depends. In our community a lot of families have dogs. But I read some time ago that one town on the frummer spectrum, forget if it was Elkana or El'ad, made a local ruling that keeping dogs is forbidden unless they serve a specific purpose (like for the blind).
Im going to assume elad. It is by and large a strongly charedi and chassidish community. Elkana is a regular dati leumi yishuv. I know people who have lived there who had a dog Smile
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