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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Help me think of a punishment
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:07 pm
amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:
It scares them and prevents them from doing it again.
It DOES help them learn better behavior which is the goal.


Did the school play along with your abuse? They actually read the note out loud?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:08 pm
amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:
It scares them and prevents them from doing it again.
It DOES help them learn better behavior which is the goal.


Maybe....but it has too many "side effects" that will have their own unpleasant manifestations later in life.
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:12 pm
I've found that purell cleans ink very well. (It's made up of so much alcohol).
The plus side is that it doesn't have a horribly unpleasant smell.
Pump some on a paper towel and gently rub a little bit at a time.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:17 pm
amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:
It scares them and prevents them from doing it again.
It DOES help them learn better behavior which is the goal.

Is the goal of parenting to scare our children into submission? Yikes
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tp3




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:22 pm
amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:
It scares them and prevents them from doing it again.
It DOES help them learn better behavior which is the goal.

The more you scare kids, the less scared they get. And then they become teenagers and laugh at you.
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nchr




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 12:29 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
Shaming kids is NEVER an appropriate way to teach them a lesson. And kids being scared of doing something wrong, does NOT mean that they learnt better behavior. They're just scared.
Shaming and scaring kids to get them to behave is abuse.


Not that I am on this level or anything, but I heard that the magid of Mezritch said that when someone wrongs you instead of taking nekuma with a punishment to take nekuma with rachmim and give them something good instead. He took it from the pasuk קל נקמות השם - where does Hashem come into nekuma when Hashem is rachmim. That in this case, when someone is given something good instead of being punished, the person will have such beeshas from being given a prize when they don't deserve it that they will do tshuva and always remember the shame of getting something good when they were bad.

I'm completely not on this level and I don't see how it would work in real life with a child, but it's interesting enough to share. I guess according to this shitta, OP should give her son a chocolate TMI
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behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:09 pm
Is he an impulsive kid? Some kids do first and think later.
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chanatron1000




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:20 pm
Destruction of property is both something that naturally angers the property's owner and a serious offense that a child should know is wrong, but if you are angry at the child, you need to be very careful to separate that anger from your approach as a parent.
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amother
Lightcyan


 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:26 pm
amother [ Mintcream ] wrote:
I think you should make him take a note to class about what he did and embarrass him.

Why don’t you just hang him?
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 25 2021, 4:29 pm
Windex also works great to remove pen from a car seat.

I'm locking this thread now, per OP's request.
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