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Relative making a wedding and Covid vaccine required
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:09 pm
I’m making a bar mitzvah now. For people who ask, I and my immediate family are vaccinated, but I cannot speak to anyone else. I am not going to card people at the door or force masks. If someone will be uncomfortable, they should consider not coming. But if it was a wedding, not every decision would be for me to make alone. The shared Baal simcha status means both sets parents have concerns that need to be taken into account. I understand the need to protect elderly relatives overrides everything. I have heard of other simchos where the grandparents come first before everyone, spend time with the family, and leave before other people come- to protect themselves.
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amother
Daffodil


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:09 pm
amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:
I have elderly parents who live in a covid-conscious community, and honestly, I don't think your cousins are being unreasonable. On one hand, vaccinated people can still transmit covid, however, the likelihood of vaccinated people contracting covid is a lot lower than their unvaccinated counterparts. I think your cousins are doing what they can to make the simcha safe for everyone. It is not foolproof, but it is minimizing risks. A better way to ensure safety would be to have guests take a rapid test at the door, but this is likely expensive and not feasible. It could be that most people in their circles are anyway vaccinated so they are not excluding a large group of people from attending. What would you suggest to make the simcha safer for their elderly grandparents?

Covid cubicles for the grand parents!! They should not mingle with the crowd at all!!
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amother
Aqua


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:17 pm
amother [ Daffodil ] wrote:
Covid cubicles for the grand parents!! They should not mingle with the crowd at all!!
What's a covid cubicle?
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amother
Moccasin


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:25 pm
Was probably at the same wedding as Firethorn because I was about to post exact same scenario . Wether or not you think this is fair or right is irrelevant . The Baalei Simcha have to keep it peaceful among themselves and make it safe for all of their guests. If one side does not agree - good for them that they took the path of Shalom. Unfortunately , mine and many other families have fallen into machlokes over the pro or con debate. It has made a very sad situation even sadder.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:40 pm
You just shouldn't go. Its their simcha and if they decide to go the path of shalom to make it best for the chosson and kallah ultimately (to not have machlokes between the two families), you can vehemently disagree but try not to stir the pot. I agree with your pov fully but the right thing to do is keep the peace.

You can ask if they would feel comfortable with anything else, but no is no.

As the poster above said, I also have a simcha story where all guests were exposed and fyi, almost all the fully vaccinated who never had covid before came down with it (none had severe cases but most were young). Those who previously had it, not vaccinated, none came down with it, some who had it before and since vaccinated some caught it, others didn't. Ones who hadn't had it and weren't vaccinated caught it.

Lesson is despite politicians being behind the 8 ball, everyone will catch this. The younger, the healthier, the better. Always treat early, vaccinated or not. The vaccine does appear to lessen severity but the real key is to always treat early, especially if it is not a young person. There have been vaccinated that sought treatment too late and have passed away from it.

There is treatment, many many different ways the doctors and hospitals are experimenting with. Do not sit and wait at home until it gets bad. Even if you vaccinated. Fully. With boosters.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:41 pm
amother [ Arcticblue ] wrote:
They have chutzpah but it’s their Simcha and their obnoxious rules.
I’d stay home even if I’m vaccinated.


You gave a pretty chutzpadik, obnoxious, and shallow answer.

The baalai simcha are trying to reduce the possibility of transmission of Covid at their simcha. No one thinks that a chasunah is going to risk free but people with true yiras shamayim do their best to reduce the possibility of spreading disease.

I feel like the world has turned upside down. Yidden are being castigated for taking precautions that will avoid Covid exposure and Yidden who spread disease "all around town" are being lauded a normal.
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amother
Diamond


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:46 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
You gave a pretty chutzpadik, obnoxious, and shallow answer.

The baalai simcha are trying to reduce the possibility of transmission of Covid at their simcha. No one thinks that a chasunah is going to risk free but people with true yiras shamayim do their best to reduce the possibility of spreading disease.

I feel like the world has turned upside down. Yidden are being castigated for taking precautions that will avoid Covid exposure and Yidden who spread disease "all around town" are being lauded a normal.


Except that there are other ways to try and take precautions to avoid Covid exposure. Let guests show antibody test.
They are being obnoxious in only wanting to do it their way, which according to science is not the only way or the best way.
Insisting on Carding people, when therev are other options to protect yourself just seems off.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:56 pm
amother [ Diamond ] wrote:
Except that there are other ways to try and take precautions to avoid Covid exposure. Let guests show antibody test.
They are being obnoxious in only wanting to do it their way, which according to science is not the only way or the best way.
Insisting on Carding people, when therev are other options to protect yourself just seems off.


The baalai simcha are smart to ask for "fully vaccinated only" because we all know that most people who are not vaccinated refuse to take other precautions such as distancing and masking. So they are weeding out the "Covid is over" crowd who are continuing to spread Covid.
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Mom/Bubby/Morah




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 8:56 pm
amother [ Diamond ] wrote:
Except that there are other ways to try and take precautions to avoid Covid exposure. Let guests show antibody test.
They are being obnoxious in only wanting to do it their way, which according to science is not the only way or the best way.
Insisting on Carding people, when therev are other options to protect yourself just seems off.

Not your call to label them obnoxious. It’s their party. Be objective and try to put yourself in their shoes. Clearly there is a reason. Could be obvious - elderly parents etc. or one that no one knows such as a close family member undergoing chemo. Our opinion doesn’t really matter here. Op asked for validation but this didn’t have to be reduced to name calling.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 9:00 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am just really looking to see what everyone’s thoughts are. I know I am probably opening a whole can of worms but I am just curious.
I live in a place where most people are not so concerned about Covid. We don’t wear masks and we go to simchas.
My close relative lives in an area where Covid rules are very strict and they listen and follow what ever they are told to do.
They are planning to make a wedding for their son close by to me (they live a plane ride away).
They just informed me that the other side insists that everyone be double vaxxed and wear a mask and will need to show their vaxxed card in order to get in.
They have elderly grandparents who will be there. Who are vaxxed and will be wearing a mask.
So now my whole family won’t be able to go.
We had Covid and antibodies and our doctor said we don’t need to get vaxxed.
One of my kids got one shot but that is not good enough for them.
So my question is is the other side being unreasonable?
I told them I will stay out in the hall not go in and I will wear a mask. But that is not good enough.


Op you are wrong and the baalai simcha are right.
IYH things will get better and you will be able to spend many future simchos together!
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amother
Diamond


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 9:14 pm
Mom/Bubby/Morah wrote:

Not your call to label them obnoxious. It’s their party. Be objective and try to put yourself in their shoes. Clearly there is a reason. Could be obvious - elderly parents etc. or one that no one knows such as a close family member undergoing chemo. Our opinion doesn’t really matter here. Op asked for validation but this didn’t have to be reduced to name calling.


I totally understand trying to protect elderly or everyone for that matter. But don't insist on only one way when there's more than one way to ensure that a guest is not at risk (having high antibodies is better than a vaccination card). Not everyone can vaccinate.
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amother
Peony


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 9:24 pm
amother [ Firethorn ] wrote:
I attended a wedding a few weeks ago.
One guest was feeling under the weather but tested negative for Covid that morning. All family members and most guests double vaxxed.
Guess what? The guest was positive a couple of days later. Within a week, many (vaxxed) members of the family and other guests were positive, too.
G-d runs the world. Sorry that you'll miss this wedding, OP, but it's probably best. Who knows if people will catch Covid there and you'll get blamed?


Was patient zero vaccinated?
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amother
Viola


 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 10:18 pm
Absolutely pathetic.
Just dont go. Seriously

double vaxxed, masked and showing proof? enough
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twizzlers1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Sep 12 2021, 10:58 pm
Didn't read through everything so not sure if somebody come to about Israel. But to get into a hall you have to either be vaccinated, show antibodies, or do a corona test
I feel like if they would give you the testing option like 48 hours before that would give more people an opportunity to come. I mean I'm totally back to normal and don't get all these rules but if you want to go it's really unfortunate that they don't give an option to do a test instead. I feel like people should be able to choose the vaccine. If the vaccine works so well then they wouldn't be worried if you're not vaccinated. I am vaccinated and I still think things have gone too far.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 1:27 am
Totally within their rights to protect their lives. You disagree, don’t go. I’d consider you a rodef if you went.
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 4:47 am
P.s. who is the passive aggressive poster who goes around hugging posts that are pro-vax or covid conscious? Amother, would you like to explain yourself?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 4:56 am
Your party, your rules.
I’m sure decades ago people were incensed by No Smoking signs at affairs and “please dress in accordance with Orthodox tradition “ on invitations.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 5:03 am
I think if you have covid recently AND you are following medical advice not to vaccinate its ridiculous not to recognise that. In other countries covid recovery is recognised and people are allowed to travel, go into restaurants etc based on that. Its very odd that in the USA this is not a thing.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 5:22 am
Here's my attempt to minimize thoughts that aren't helpful, particularly now.

Maybe the side insisting this has a tragic story behind their insistence.

Maybe OP's relatives are aware of the story.

Maybe potential guests will do their best to participate in wishing the new couple well by whatever method works best within the stated rules, without raising eyebrows or shaking heads.

Wishing this couple mazel tov, and everyone else a good year.
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Sewsew_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 13 2021, 5:37 am
It is sad that this is what the world is experiencing right now. It even all makes zero sense. But your not going to change the world. So if it doesn't work for you, than you can wish mazal tov over zoom or whatsapp. Luckily we have those options these days.
And than you get the night off and enjoy a relaxing bubble bath.
Mazal tov and ih this year should be the year that covid is eradicated and we're all back to celebrating with family again!
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