Bonding with kids when not well

amother

Tue, Sep 14 2021, 9:38 pm

So this may come up if you are on bed rest, end of pregnancy, new baby, chronic illness or exhausted a lot.

What are ideas for bonding with your kids and not getting exhausted. Question number 2. How do you on the one hand try to get they're cooperation and understanding and help and on the other hand help them feel secure and that you can take care of them and manage the house (when you know you can't) and at the moment getting help is not an option.

Here's what I do. Would love input.

Lie on the couch in the main room
Do puzzles together
Read to them when I have strength
Let go of the guilt and tell myself that I don't need to be the mother well takes get kid to the park. I just need to have a happy house.

Second question. I don't tell my kids anything. Just Mommy is tired now. and I say that we all get tired sometimes. I also buy them big things for helping out and it's never mandatory.

SYA

Wed, Sep 15 2021, 8:24 am

My friend has severe HG. Once it reaches the point she needs IV she tells her older kids and they understand and help out more with the younger kids. She does a lot while laying on the couch - letting them snuggle, do a puzzle and if up to it read a book.

She expresses her appreciation and gets them something as a thank you.

amother

Steelblue

Wed, Sep 15 2021, 9:18 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I like really like your ideas for question 1! Second question, in my case it's chronic condition and I don't want them to think a healthy person should do what I do, so they know that for me regular activities can be complicated. I try to limit mandatory helping to cleaning up after themselves and taking food themselves when I'm stuck on the couch. Rewarding extra helping with treats or special activity together makes sense to me with size of reward reflecting difficulty of task.
While they know I might not be able to manage everything on my own they know they will have their needs met. I sometimes order takeout and order groceries online including some easy ready to eat stuff.
You're so right that the main thing is having a happy home! Hatzlacha!

amother

Wed, Sep 15 2021, 10:05 am

amother [ Steelblue ] wrote:

Thanks. Yes I was thinking they are going to grow up thinking that it's normal to rest on the couch all day and be tired all the time but I don't want them knowing bec of their ages and there are certain ppl who can't ever find out. So is there a way to remedy that or it is what it is.?

amother

Steelblue

Wed, Sep 15 2021, 10:45 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't know if this would work for you but because of the ages of my kids I don't tell about the details of my condition but do tell them that sometimes I don't feel well and need to rest on the couch. I BH don't have to hide it but think children saying mother gets tired more easily than us and needs to rest a lot is very general and can be caused by many different things and can be said about many mothers.