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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Sep 15 2021, 3:56 pm
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It's very sad for me, that at the age of 40 (I'm not the youngest in my family), I no longer have a father to do birchas habanim on erev yk. I know Hashem is our father in heaven, looking out for all of us and no doubt in my mind my father is looking down and watching out for me and my family from on high, but still....
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amother
Stone
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Wed, Sep 15 2021, 4:01 pm
Im sorry.
My father is a kohen. When I called him today he benched me with Birches Kohanim. My father said that its really a brocha from hashem, and he is just the Shaliach.
You should have a General Chasima tova and our Father should bench us all.
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amother
Holly
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Wed, Sep 15 2021, 4:03 pm
Hugs! my father benches my sister in law.
(On the phone, she asked him to even though her father also bentches her)
Maybe ask your father in law?
A gut yohr!
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amother
Daphne
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Wed, Sep 15 2021, 4:05 pm
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I don’t either - but his Bracha doesn’t mean much to me as his presence just gives me anxiety. I made the choice not to overextend myself on a hectic day and make myself crazy to get to him .
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amother
Blonde
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Wed, Sep 15 2021, 4:13 pm
The last time my father benched me I was 17, my little brother was 9 months old. He died that year.
Bh I have a grandfather who still benches me 20 years later.
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naturalmom5
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Wed, Sep 15 2021, 4:31 pm
| amother [ Blonde ] wrote: | The last time my father benched me I was 17, my little brother was 9 months old. He died that year.
Bh I have a grandfather who still benches me 20 years later. |
I lost my father at 19 , had no grandparents long before..
Hashem shoukd comfort you and grant you a gemar ch tova
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love vegetables
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Wed, Sep 15 2021, 4:34 pm
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Yes my parents bench us and the kids erev yom kipur
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amother
Crimson
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 1:11 pm
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I lost my father when I was 6. Bh I have an amazing mother who bentches me every week over the phone.
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Iymnok
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 3:17 pm
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It’s been my father benched erev Yom Kippur. I am very happy that he is in Israel now, so I have gotten my first brocha from him erev Y”K in about 15 years. It was over the phone since they are in bidud, but still very special. To top it off my Abba is a kohen.
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Chickensoupprof
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 3:54 pm
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My father is not Jewish 🤷♀️
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shabbatiscoming
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 4:24 pm
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What about your mother? Can she do the bracha instead? Nothing halachically wrng with that. I gave my daughter the bracha last night.
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amother
Aster
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 7:29 pm
Not since my parents separated, didn't want any contact.
B"H my husband bentches our children
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amother
Alyssum
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 8:43 pm
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Nope. My father hates me.
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Ema of 5
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 8:53 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | It's very sad for me, that at the age of 40 (I'm not the youngest in my family), I no longer have a father to do birchas habanim on erev yk. I know Hashem is our father in heaven, looking out for all of us and no doubt in my mind my father is looking down and watching out for me and my family from on high, but still.... |
This was the first year that I didn’t get a Bracha from my father, and it was super duper hard. My father in law also gives brachos every year, and I had my husband tell him that I wasn’t in an emotional place for it this year. I hope he wasn’t insulted, especially since I was fine getting a Bracha from my mother in law.
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amother
Strawberry
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 9:08 pm
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My father doesn't bentch married daughters.
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Ema of 5
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 9:16 pm
| shabbatiscoming wrote: | | What about your mother? Can she do the bracha instead? Nothing halachically wrng with that. I gave my daughter the bracha last night. |
My mother never gave us a Bracha growing up, not for Friday night and not for Yom Kippur. She asked this year, being that we wouldn’t be getting brachos, and she was told that since she never did, she shouldn’t start now.
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amother
Eggplant
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:30 pm
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I never had a father. technically I guess I do have one but he never did anything for me or siblings and we have no relationship. My dh benches the kids and does so every friday night
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BrisketBoss
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Thu, Sep 16 2021, 10:36 pm
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He never did. I grew up frei and ignorant of the existence of pre-YK child bentsching. But both of my in-laws do.
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