Room sharing teenager with toddler

amother

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:51 pm

I have my 9th grader sharing a room with my 3 year old it works out best room wise. the flip would be putting him in the other room which already has 2 kid in there . The issue is my daughter is doing hw on the phone / computer and to put my toddler to bed I am kicking her out and I don’t really have a private spot for her then usually everyone else will be in bed so if she came down no outher kids will be around but me and husband . Out of all the options the toddler is best to share with bec he only sleeps there nothing else.
Any great ideas for me

amother

Lime

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 5:59 pm

It's very important for teens to have their space. Maybe you can build her some sort of a cubicle around the space she does her homework and make it into a cozy area for her.

amother

Birch

Thu, Oct 14 2021, 6:51 pm

Is she talking on the phone or just texting etc? If it's just light , put some sort of divider (furniture, curtain etc) so she can use her half while toddler is put to sleep. If the typing noise is too much, a sound machine for the toddler can help.

salt

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 1:52 am

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

It's very important for teens to have their space. Maybe you can build her some sort of a cubicle around the space she does her homework and make it into a cozy area for her.

It's very nice for teens to have their space, but plenty of households don't have separate rooms for each teen. You learn to live with what you have.

My student DD spends several hours on homework when she comes home each evening. She starts out in our bedroom usually, since it's the quietest place, and then when DH and I start winding down/ going to sleep, she moves to the kitchen. By that time we've all finished dinner and clearing up in there.
You make it work. I know my DD has friends with even less space than us.

Last edited by salt on Thu, Oct 21 2021, 2:27 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Outerspace

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 2:09 am

Thanks for starting the thread. I am expecting and the baby will be the same gender as my teenager.
My teenager is thriller to share a room with a baby/toddler but I am not sure how it it will work out time wise. My toddlers have much earlier bedtimes than my teens. The bedrooms are tiny.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 2:27 am

This is an extremely common situation, especially in Israel where the rooms tend to be really small in apartments. Being able to rent or own a house is a major luxury here.

Maybe DD can take her phone or laptop down to the kitchen while you are putting the toddler to sleep. DD might be OK with that. If the toddler falls asleep nicely, she shouldn't be put out for more than 20 minutes or so. It seems reasonable to me. Maybe she can use that time to take a long, relaxing shower.

Hopefully the toddler is a deep sleeper, and won't get woken up easily by DD moving around the room. A fan or noise machine would be helpful. (If a noise machine bothers DD, definitely get a small, cheap fan, and keep it near the crib.)

If DD complains, empathize with her, and ask her to help you brainstorm some solutions. If you get her input, she'll feel a lot more in control of the situation. She may come up with something you hadn't even considered!

amother

Cyan

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 2:30 am

I remember this struggle. We had ALL our kids in one room for many years.
The bed time thing is tricky. Maybe, after you put your toddler to bed, make sure your daughter always has a place to do her homework. ie make sure the kitchen table is clear, or there's a cozy corner in the living room with a small table, or get her one of those fold out desks maybe... or put the toddler elsewhere. We've had babies and toddlers sleeping in the living room and it's fine.
Anyway realistically for how long is that arrangement for?

amother

Banana

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 5:05 am

I had no choice. My Hs dd shared a room with my young dd. It wasn't a great option. Midterm/finals meant that young dd slept in my room. My young dd also complained that the texting sounds woke her up, especially the giggles.

We had an unfinished basement. We renovated it and made a bedroom for my older dd. It was money well spent.

amother

Banana

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 5:06 am

amother

Lime

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 5:38 am

salt wrote:

Space doesn't mean a separate room. Just a little nook or corner to call their own. Or any area in the house that's made available for them every night.