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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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imaima

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 1:34 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My 3 yo stopped sleeping through the night. She wakes up in the middle of the night EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. and doesn't go back to sleep for at least an hr sometimes more. We have tried everything. She takes melatonin to fall asleep. I stay with her in her room to fall back asleep. Can take hrs and she goes crazy whenever I try to leave. She wants to come into our beds and I say no. She screams for hours till we give in and even then she cries the whole night so it's not even like this is solving anything.

This is affecting our entire lives. She's tired and cranky the whole day. She doesn't nap, keeps all the kids up and tantrums all day. She's not functioning in school. My husband and I are tired from being up for hours with her every night. We fight about what to do with her and we're exhausted in the middle of the night so usually a nice amount of yelling.

We have been trying to figure out why she gets up every night and why she won't go back to sleep. So far no luck. Any useful advice would be greatly appreciated!

Agree with the bathroom thing: she may feel the uncomfort of the urination but not be able to put it in words or realize what's going on.

If she is waking up the whole house, I would minimize the damage and either have one parent sleep next to her in her room or take her in your bedroom from the start. The fewer people are cranky in the morning, the better.

Have her ears and teeth checked, also check for strep and pinworms. They tend to crawl out of the backside in the night and go into the V in girls. You can just look next time she wakes up, they are visible.

Don't show her any videos for now, especially if they are too fast paced or violent. Ask what's going on in daycare if she goes.

amother

Brass

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 6:23 am

One more thing. Is she in the phase where she sometimes naps and sometimes doesn’t? This kind of sleep disturbance could also be part of dropping the last nap and it can go on for a long while.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 7:04 am

With DD, it was always because of the bathroom. After she'd been on the toilet she'd be asleep before I could even lay her back down in bed.

If you give in and let her into your bed every time she tantrums, what did you just teach her? She's pretty smart, and knows how to get what she wants.

Try dropping the melatonin. If that doesn't help, try extended release melatonin (XR).

Some kids are very verbal at 3, and some are not. Some are not talking much if they are up but half asleep. It can be confusing for sure, especially when you are half asleep as well. Try asking her basic questions. "Do you have an owie? Can you show me?" Ask her to point to what is bothering her.

You can also ask her "Did you have a scary dream?" Does she even know the difference between a dream and having an imagination during the day? That can be terrifying all by itself.

Once you rule out every possible physical thing, only then can you tackle the behavioral stuff (it can be both).

I strongly suggest you go on YouTube and look for "Nanny Jo Back to Sleep" method. The first week is exhausting, but it does work eventually - assuming everything else is OK with her.

dankbar

Thu, Oct 21 2021, 1:00 pm

She might have nightmares, maybe something scary happened to her.

amother

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:31 pm

I'm back and the worst mother ever. I dont know what to do. We stopped the melatonin so then it just took an extra two hours to fall asleep and she still woke up in the middle of the night screaming. I started melatonin again out of desperation because it otherwise takes forever to fall asleep. Gave her melatonin tonight and even that's not working. I am currently ignoring her after losing it on her a few times and am leaving her to do whatever she wants until my husband comes home or she falls asleep. Whichever happens first.
I dont know what to do about her. Any of these things can be bothering her and were just going in circles. I can not handle this.

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:45 pm

Did you try magnesium gummies? Magnesium is supposed to help with sleep. Either way, it's vitamins.

amother

Blush

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:46 pm

Time to check for strep

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:50 pm

Maybe she suffers from pinworms?

notshanarishona

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 8:50 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Has she had a well visit recently? My son’s first sign of a cold or ear infection on the way is difficulty sleeping.

amother

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:03 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

Has she had a well visit recently? My son’s first sign of a cold or ear infection on the way is difficulty sleeping.

Yeah very recently and we should not be getting anymore ear infections because she got tubes since last winter.

amother

Antiquewhite

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:13 pm

Pinworms make kids wake up screaming in idle of the night

ra_mom

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:17 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Don't give up on the melatonin just yet if it's giving her sleep and giving you sanity.

My toddler would wake up in middle of the night crying inconsolably but when asked if she needed the bathroom, cried no. We noticed a pattern of her calming down as soon as she got to use the bathroom (and when that happened we could see that she truly did need to use the bathroom). So when she began to cry, we just picked her up and bought her to the bathroom while speaking soothingly (because she cried and resisted) and as soon as she started using the bathroom she calmed down. Afterwards we were able to tuck her back in and she was much happier BH.

If this doesn't work, take a flashlight and check for pinworms. If you can't find them, take her to the pediatrician so they can test for them.

amother

Stoneblue

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:18 pm

Kids with tubes can still get ear infections.. it’s just treated with drops rather than anti biotics. You should have the ENT check her tonsils. Enlarged tonsils can interfere with sleep

amother

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:28 pm

Thanks everyone! Just fell asleep BH. What are pinworms and how do I check and what am I looking for?

ra_mom

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks everyone! Just fell asleep BH. What are pinworms and how do I check and what am I looking for?

It's an intestinal infection. They're white/clear tiny thread like worms, and if you keep the room dark, and then quickly shine a flashlight with your eyes focused on the area, you would see them going in and out of the child's behind. I know, so horrible and sad. But the good news is it's treatable with one dose of liquid medication, followed by another 2 weeks later in case any eggs survived- to kill those off so they don't start again.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/dis.....76382

amother

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:39 pm

Could there also be an external rash? She had a rash also strangely enough even though she's toilet trained and only wears a difference at night.

ra_mom

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:39 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Could there also be an external rash? She had a rash also strangely enough even though she's toilet trained and only wears a difference at night.

It can be red and inflamed.

amother

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:43 pm

In which area? This actually might be it. If she wakes up in the middle of the night (hope not but not holding my breath) will do this check.

amother

Blush

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:43 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Could there also be an external rash? She had a rash also strangely enough even though she's toilet trained and only wears a difference at night.

This could be perianal strep

amother

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 9:47 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

This could be perianal strep

Can you explain this? Want to call my dr again but want to be informed cuz don't want to tell him I am getting information from the internet cuz I know that's not smart.

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