Can you stop giving homework for the moms?

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 2:41 am

amother [ cornflower ] wrote:

Send to a school with the same hashkafa. I send my child to school as a babysitting to me and that is how I view it. I don't care how much the girls learn, the boys is different because it is a mitzvah.

Are you being serious? Girl's education isnt important? Then find a day care.
And I dont think people are only talking about jewish studies here, with homework.
You dont want your daughters to learn history, math, reading, AND judaic studies?

amother

Maple

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 3:50 am

I have a MS in education, I taught for many years and dealt with this from both ends.
I firmly believe that kids DO NOT need homework with the following exceptions.
- Hebrew and English reading in the younger grades. The primary reason being that YOU as a parent will most likely pick up your child's reading problem before the teacher especially when there are
25-30 kids in a class. Sometimes a kids just need a little more time to learn, sometimes it's an indication of a more serious problem. But the worst is when the teacher calls you at the end of the year and tells you that your kids isn't reading or whatever and you wonder why the teacher is only calling now - but if you were doing reading with your child you could've intervened way earlier.

As for kids needing review? They definitely do need to review and that should be done every day in class. The tests I gave in Math, Spelling, and Vocabulary, were all cumulative - by the end of the year I would just be adding 1-2 new words a week but the kids knew all the words from the beginning of the year. Why should I waste my time teaching things that they forget by the next week?

As for projects, when a teacher does them in class she can teach kids so many skills especially how to work as a team. She can also make sure everyone has the materials they need before they start and if need be kids can finish at home.

I taught 7th and 8th graders for a few years. The only HW they got was reading. They could do it while they were lying in bed. I really wanted to get them involved in the book we were reading and when they read ahead we had much better learning/discussions and they ALL enjoyed doing this.
We also did book reports in class - very brief ones - on index cards - and I knew that they actually had read the book themselves.

In all the years I taught I has 1 parent complain that I don't give enough HW so I gave her books from a reading comprehension series that we weren't doing in class - mother was happy and I didn't have to do extra prep just mark her HW.

GLUE

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 5:41 am

A mother can only do Hebrew reading if the mom knows Hebrew.

This summer I was doing Hebrew reading with my 6 year old and my 9 year old told me I am doing it wrong. The 2 dots that go sideways do not make that sound I was telling my DD to make, it turned out I was saying most of the dots wrong, who knew I was reading Hebrew so wrong for so many years.

There was once a show called Are you smarter then a 5th grader? Teachers sould not assume that parents know everything that is being teach in the classroom

FranticFrummie

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 6:17 am

WHERE ARE THE FATHERS?

100% of chinuch should not be falling on the mothers. Fathers need to step up, if they want their kids to learn kodesh.

In my circles, the fathers make it a point to sit and practice kriah with their sons. It's as important to them as their own learning, maybe even more.

You can bathe the girls first, while tatty practices kriah with the boys. Then bathe the boys while tatty has some special time with the girls. Or whatever works for your schedule, like having the kids practice kriah with tatty while you are making dinner.

(In my Ulpan, we are expected to do an hour of homework and practice for every hour of class we attend. 5 hours of class on Sunday, 5 hours of homework on Monday, 5 hours of class on Tuesday, etc. If you don't do it, you'll never keep up.)

watergirl

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 6:42 am

Sewsew_mom wrote:

News flash.. There is no study out there that says kids retain information better when they review it 15 minutes after they learn it. .

Just on this, have you looked? I just did a quick google scholar search. Google scholar is a special search engine for only peer reviewed, published studies.

It’s no shocker, there are pages and pages of peer reviewed, published, scholarly studies saying exactly what you claimed does not exist. A small window of at-home review is beneficial.

Also no shocker, there are also pages and pages of the opposite as well. The jury is apparently still out on this one.

Bottom line, be the change you want to see. See how your kids schools will work with you.

My kids schools seemed to have quietly adopted a new initiative this year which seems to be community wide. Ever single kodesh teacher has a homework hotline. It’s a prerecorded review and kriah session and the kids can use this nightly if a parent is not around, available, or capable. I believe this started to help single mothers and BT parents who need the help, but the schools seem to have realized more and more parents burnt out over covid and we all can use the help now.

amother

Maple

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 6:55 am

GLUE wrote:

I agree with you - how many of us actually know shva na and shva nach? And some other rules that if you went to the same elementary school as I did some 20+ years ago guaranteed you didn't learn them.

amother

Coral

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 9:32 am

GLUE wrote:

Regarding the kriyah:
My parents are BT, so this suggestion is coming from a place of love, admiration, and respect:

Go back and learn. Go to shiurim. Find a partner in Torah. Don't stagnate!

You may never know everything that your kids will absorb in elementary school, but you'll be more ahead than where you are now, and your kids will have someone who can help them with their schoolwork a little bit more.
Obviously, at a certain age, like mishnayos, gemara you'll be phased out. So am I, an FFB mom Smile

So if you have a DH, he should be constantly working on advancing his Torah knowledge too.

Side story:

At one point my father tried starting a night seder in his BT shul. I
One man told my father he couldn't attend because that was when he did HW with his (then) young son.
My father said, if you don't continue YOUR learning, you won't be able to do HW with him on a few short years...

amother

Coral

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 9:39 am

amother [ Maple ] wrote:

So learn them now!!!
I'm assuming your kid's teachers sent home the rules, but if not...

http://www.shailamorah.com/kri.....rules

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 9:40 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

WHERE ARE THE FATHERS?

This, this, this. I dont know about anyone else, but I remember growing up my father was the one to help with homework way more than my mother.

OP, there is no law that says the mother has to help. Is the father/your husband in the picture? If yes, share the wealth, both can (and should) help, if they can. This does not have to be a burden for the mothers only.

amother

Ginger

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 10:17 am

I don't know about most of you, but in my house the little kids' homework is done long before DH comes home from work. He does Parsha with them over Shabbos. The bigger kids often don't start doing homework until after dinner so they'll go to DH for help with math or kodesh subjects if they need assistance.

I have a gap between my middle schoolers who have been doing homework on their own for the past few years and my next bunch of kids, the oldest of which just started first grade. I had forgotten how annoying it was to do daily homework while getting dinner on the table and keeping the younger ones entertained. And if I need to make an after school appointment then homework is really a pain! My first grader can mostly do the homework on his own once I explain the instructions but it all takes time since he isn't reading all on his own yet. I can't wait until he's independent like his older siblings but I have younger kids who will still need my help for a few years yet.

amother

Holly

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 10:22 am

Shout out to my girls' school for making a no homework policy until the girls are old enough to do it independently. They encourage 5-10 minutes of kriah practice in younger grades but if a parent can't do it, they assign a kriah helper to review with the child during school time.

Shout out to my daughters first grade teacher for explaining which kriah rule they were working on in a voice note. My kriah is decent but some rules were new to me.

Re husbands- mine comes home at 10 pm. He can do 5 min with my son in the morning rush but not more.

Sewsew_mom

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 10:36 am

amother [ Holly ] wrote:

❤️❤️❤️.. I think they got it. Thanks for this post.

mha3484

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 10:54 am

My kids school is very good at giving reasonable homework. B'H. My first grade son only has 2x a week for rebbe and 3x a week for his morah. Its just enough.

I have mixed feelings on the projects. I think its very good for the kids especially boys who are more artistic to have an outlet where they can express that. For some boys who struggle academically, its really a way to shine. I may grumble but I can manage one project a year. I got really frustrated when my son in 4th grade had two displays to make and I politely suggested to the school that they choose one of the two to assign at home. I think its okay to have some take home work but it has to be balanced so it doesnt burden parents.

gamanit

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 1:01 pm

I taught for one year before leaving to find a higher-paying job. I personally do not believe in homework. At all. Zip, zilch, nada. I believe in having a learning and growth-focused home but that the learning does not need to be connected to what's going on in school. I grew up with books of all sorts including economics, mathematics, science, history, web design, and everything in between. I encouraged my students to take books out of the school library. I had some students who didn't have any time for homework.

I was required by the school to give homework so I used to give ten minutes of homework. One parent complained that I'm not giving enough homework. She said that she takes her daughter with her to work every day and doesn't want her watching videos there. I felt so bad for her daughter. I ended up finding a compromise that I would assign several sheets of math homework every day but it wouldn't count at all towards their final score. If they didn't do it, no problem. If they did do it I would grade it for them. If they got an "A+" on it I would give them an "A+" for our A+ contest. This ended up working really well.

Mama Bear

Mon, Oct 25 2021, 5:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m pregnant and have a hard time keeping my eyes open. Literally no energy for anything. I push myself to do the minimum at home but don’t always manage to cover all bases. What gets me the most annoyed is the endless homework the teachers give my young elementary kids which they can’t do themselves. Projects and extras etc. on top of a couple of pages of regular kriah, math, spelling etc. can the teachers stop giving loads of work for the moms? I’m way past the stage and too non creative for projects and don’t have the time or energy for it. Do whatever you want with the hours you have in school and leave the homework that involves the moms to the bare minimum. Max 5 minutes a day per child and no physical creative work like projects. Most moms have lots on their plate and can not give an hour per child every afternoon.
Vent over!

Please check out your iron levels -- that may be the source of your extreme exhaustion.