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Help a plus sized women dress
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amother
Darkblue


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 11:42 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
I'm way too traumatized to go into local Jewish stores. Tired of the fat-shaming. Although to be fair, its more like once-burned, twice-shy. Its not like I've tried so many.

I have just started to buy clothes. Even my kids commented! Like wow, you used to just wear the same t-shirt!

Anyway, I have found that the brand Eileen Fisher (I ordered from Nordstrom or Nordstrom rack) works for me. I buy sleeveless shell-type dresses and they are cut more generously and the fabric a bit thicker than the Jewish brands. Then I put a long knee-length sweater over it and feel that it skims over my body without clinging. I prefer a dress to a skirt/shell combo so that there is no break at my midsection. They also have tops that are cut more generously around the stomach/hip area.

I haven't bought a lot because they're pricey, so I re-wear a lot. I don't yet know how it will wash and wear over a few months. But I'm careful with my clothes generally so I am hopeful. It does SO much to one's self-confidence to feel good about your clothes! I really hope you find a look you love!


Can you link please
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amother
Strawberry


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 11:42 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
I'm way too traumatized to go into local Jewish stores. Tired of the fat-shaming. Although to be fair, its more like once-burned, twice-shy. Its not like I've tried so many.

I have just started to buy clothes. Even my kids commented! Like wow, you used to just wear the same t-shirt!

Anyway, I have found that the brand Eileen Fisher (I ordered from Nordstrom or Nordstrom rack) works for me. I buy sleeveless shell-type dresses and they are cut more generously and the fabric a bit thicker than the Jewish brands. Then I put a long knee-length sweater over it and feel that it skims over my body without clinging. I prefer a dress to a skirt/shell combo so that there is no break at my midsection. They also have tops that are cut more generously around the stomach/hip area.

I haven't bought a lot because they're pricey, so I re-wear a lot. I don't yet know how it will wash and wear over a few months. But I'm careful with my clothes generally so I am hopeful. It does SO much to one's self-confidence to feel good about your clothes! I really hope you find a look you love!

Thank you! Yesss 💯 about that midsection break! It makes wearing separates so much harder. Definitely going to check out the Eileen Fisher line!
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amother
Mint


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 11:46 am
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/ei.....r=400

This is the general idea...
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Tof Umachol




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 11:55 am
amother [ Trillium ] wrote:
Positive attitude looks amazing on all body types, the most physically beautiful women I know are not necessarily thin.


Yes!! This is so true.
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Chana Miriam S




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 11:59 am
amother [ Strawberry ] wrote:
No suggestions for clothes, but I can commiserate đŸ˜© . Im short and bigger all over, with a big belly that sticks out. (Sorry, weight loss didn’t work and isn’t the solution here. Had to add that in b4 any ‘geniuses’ pipe up with those types of comments or responses.)

It’s nearly impossible to find any clothes that flatter me with the bigger, sticking out type of belly
it is the hardest thing to dress around! I see a lot of women our size who are able to find nice clothes that are flattering because they don’t have that sticking out kind of bigger belly (just a flatter type of belly where it’s more contained, or they’re more evenly proportioned), or they have thinner arms/legs and can compensate with that. I don’t have the privilege of that body type.


I have the same belly. My lower stomach gets smaller but my upper one not so much. I also have huge breasts.

I wear mostly dresses that have high waistlines.

Skirts ride up to under my breasts. It’s annoying. So basically I do my best and when I find something that works for me, wear the heck out of it.

I just want to add something weightloss related.

It was not until I started buying new things after I lost weight that I realized that I have to try on twenty things to find the two that look good on me. It’s not me, it’s that clothing is created in all sorts of styles for different body types and not every piece will look good on me, no matter how small I get.

I will never have a big butt and hips and a lot of clothing is designed that way, so I can write off fifty perfect as soon as I try on. It’s not my fault. It’s just the way it is.
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amother
Trillium


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 2:28 pm
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
I'm way too traumatized to go into local Jewish stores. Tired of the fat-shaming. Although to be fair, its more like once-burned, twice-shy. Its not like I've tried so many.

I have just started to buy clothes. Even my kids commented! Like wow, you used to just wear the same t-shirt!

Anyway, I have found that the brand Eileen Fisher (I ordered from Nordstrom or Nordstrom rack) works for me. I buy sleeveless shell-type dresses and they are cut more generously and the fabric a bit thicker than the Jewish brands. Then I put a long knee-length sweater over it and feel that it skims over my body without clinging. I prefer a dress to a skirt/shell combo so that there is no break at my midsection. They also have tops that are cut more generously around the stomach/hip area.

I haven't bought a lot because they're pricey, so I re-wear a lot. I don't yet know how it will wash and wear over a few months. But I'm careful with my clothes generally so I am hopeful. It does SO much to one's self-confidence to feel good about your clothes! I really hope you find a look you love!


Excellent advice in here about not breaking up the midsection. A shell and skirt that are the same color can do this, too. But the one piece under cardigan or blazer is better advice than mine, so flattering. And those long cardigans are so trendy right now, late Nineties are back.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 5:49 pm
Thanks all!! Any links for good cardigans?
Or dresses without slits?
(My shells are all too tight and stretched out and I can’t find new shells in my size so I don’t like open sweaters. Maybe a dres will be less clingy)
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amother
Lightcoral


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 6:13 pm
amother [ Mint ] wrote:

Anyway, I have found that the brand Eileen Fisher (I ordered from Nordstrom or Nordstrom rack) works for me. I buy sleeveless shell-type dresses and they are cut more generously and the fabric a bit thicker than the Jewish brands. Then I put a long knee-length sweater over it and feel that it skims over my body without clinging. I prefer a dress to a skirt/shell combo so that there is no break at my midsection. They also have tops that are cut more generously around the stomach/hip area.

I haven't bought a lot because they're pricey, so I re-wear a lot.


Eileen Fischer is the bomb. Pricey is an understatement, though. That shell dress is only 118? Pretty good. Her stuff can be 200-300 an item.
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amother
Lightcoral


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 6:17 pm
Shell station has shell dresses meant to be worn under dresses/ long cardis. I am 5'3" so I try to keep my long cardi/ vest proportioned. I only have 2 that work.

About scarves with a belly- long narrow scarves, worn draped or hanging to keep the long line does wonders. I do some long and some around the neck.
I dress as if I don't have a double chin. The goal is for my real self to look good, not my fantasy self.

PS I find the Jewish stores prices outrageous. Macys full price is cheaper.

Calvin Klein makes great sheath dresses I've been wearing for 10 years. Dress barn used to carry them to 24W. Check online.

Chicos has some good pieces, including cardigans in large sizes. Be careful you don't want to go too "old lady" as that store caters to the mature crowd.
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amother
Strawberry


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 7:18 pm
amother [ Lightcoral ] wrote:
Shell station has shell dresses meant to be worn under dresses/ long cardis. I am 5'3" so I try to keep my long cardi/ vest proportioned. I only have 2 that work.

About scarves with a belly- long narrow scarves, worn draped or hanging to keep the long line does wonders. I do some long and some around the neck.
I dress as if I don't have a double chin. The goal is for my real self to look good, not my fantasy self.

PS I find the Jewish stores prices outrageous. Macys full price is cheaper.

Calvin Klein makes great sheath dresses I've been wearing for 10 years. Dress barn used to carry them to 24W. Check online.

Chicos has some good pieces, including cardigans in large sizes. Be careful you don't want to go too "old lady" as that store caters to the mature crowd.

Scarves just aren’t flattering at all on me. It doesn’t do my face any favors whatsoever. I can “dress like I don’t have a double chin” and pretend its super flattering, but that still doesn’t change the way it actually looks lol. We all don’t have the same facial structure and jawlines. The scarf doesn’t look cute on everyone. (Honestly, it’s a tad too mature looking for someone my age đŸ€·đŸ»â€â™€ïž)
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amother
Trillium


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 9:03 pm
amother [ Strawberry ] wrote:
Scarves just aren’t flattering at all on me. It doesn’t do my face any favors whatsoever. I can “dress like I don’t have a double chin” and pretend its super flattering, but that still doesn’t change the way it actually looks lol. We all don’t have the same facial structure and jawlines. The scarf doesn’t look cute on everyone. (Honestly, it’s a tad too mature looking for someone my age đŸ€·đŸ»â€â™€ïž)


That makes sense...I just came on to say that I'm sorry for anyone that ever felt "fat shamed" in a frum environment. At this point the science is clear and really well known that large body size has everything to do with hormones and genetics, and usually not much to do with negligence and poor eating habits. There is no room for shame in 2021, only room to promote bringing out the beauty of every size. I also want to point out that there are styles larger women carry very well, that thin women look overdone or swallowed up in (some larger statement jewelry, some thicker materials and boxy sillouettes, etc)...I am tall and find I look bizarre, stretched out, and gaunt (think Gumby) in the very style I am recommending to larger women...there are very few body types that look good in everything...its an art form all about dimensions and symmetry. There are actually personal stylists that earn money helping people figure out what lines look right on them...
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amother
Strawberry


 

Post Thu, Oct 28 2021, 9:50 pm
amother [ Trillium ] wrote:
That makes sense...I just came on to say that I'm sorry for anyone that ever felt "fat shamed" in a frum environment. At this point the science is clear and really well known that large body size has everything to do with hormones and genetics, and usually not much to do with negligence and poor eating habits. There is no room for shame in 2021, only room to promote bringing out the beauty of every size. I also want to point out that there are styles larger women carry very well, that thin women look overdone or swallowed up in (some larger statement jewelry, some thicker materials and boxy sillouettes, etc)...I am tall and find I look bizarre, stretched out, and gaunt (think Gumby) in the very style I am recommending to larger women...there are very few body types that look good in everything...its an art form all about dimensions and symmetry. There are actually personal stylists that earn money helping people figure out what lines look right on them...

Thank you for writing this 💜 People get annoyed about “pc culture” and complain about how people take it “too far” and are disgusted by how society makes it “ok” or “acceptable” to be fat and “unhealthy”/“promoting sickness.” As if it’s some repulsive, immoral, repugnant, degradation of society type of thing 🙄 Like G-d forbid fat people should be okay with themselves and not care about being fat!
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