Male boss offers me a ride home

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Oct 24 2021, 10:36 am

Got a ride with my boss. (I'm Chassidish. I drive, but not to work, My job is walking distance and my husband needs the car.)
but there's absolutely zero attraction.

amother

Ivory

Wed, Nov 03 2021, 11:42 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I feel kind of attracted to him on an emotional level. We get along very well. How do I keep boundaries. I must interact with him a few times a day.

If you feel at all attracted to him on an emotional level, then its probably best to avoid any additional seclusion and any unnecessary conversation. There is a danger of your developing emotional intimacy with him.

If it helps to have a halachik angle, a car ride could be considered yichud, especially when its dark outside. ..But that's not even the point. You're trying to set safe boundaries.

On further thought, I would even say run! There is potential for emotional intimacy and he's offering you a ride! Even if there's nothing technically wrong, it's making me anxious just to think of it. Why play around with this stuff? You can take yourself home.
Why rely on him?

Thank you for posing this question. It's such a good question, because the boundary is fuzzy. And its such an important question. Many people (myself included) may be too embarrassed and/or unaware to ask it, so I'm so glad you raised it.

Good luck

ShishKabob

Wed, Nov 03 2021, 11:45 am

amother [ Lemonlime ] wrote:

Declining the ride is one example of setting boundaries. Good job!

I'm inclined to agree with this under the circumstances.
I have however taken rides with my bosses when necessary, like a bad snow or when offered.

amother

Ivory

Wed, Nov 03 2021, 11:54 am

amother [ Heather ] wrote:

All these boundary threads
The name thread
The oh he smiled , that’s inappropriate thread
Bh, I’m only exposed to this on this forum
I’d probably have a nervous breakdown if I had to deal with this every day

I can relate to the nervousness.

As I have learned more about male/female relationships, I have even started to question the wisdom of such accepted behavior as women working under a male boss, or even in an office with men. Not saying that I would never do that. But women have to be very careful. I think that women are generally more naive about this than men are.

gefilte

Wed, Nov 03 2021, 12:55 pm

its definitely not a simple ????

the attraction arrows can be flying BOTH ways..

self-honesty is the most important shield against,

wrong place , wrong time, wrong person...