Communicating with nanny without stepping on toes

amother

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 12:53 pm

So I have a new nanny for my baby.
I was home first few days so I could watch her interact. She seemed great.
I put in cameras (didn't tell her yet but their in obvious places) and left today, I see she is staring at her screen watching something while holding him which means my baby Is watching, too. She was also watching while feeding her.

Wwyd?

How do I tell her I don't want baby to watch? Nothing to do with frumkeit. This is from a development level.

Also how do I tell her I installed cameras?

Thanks!

watergirl

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 12:58 pm

Don't tell her you already installed them. Tell her now you've just installed them. Say nothing for now about the screen, wait a few days and see if she is still on her screen knowing you can see what she is doing. Then, if she is, you can say something like, "I realize we have not discussed this and I would like to bring it up now. It is our expectation that you are not on your screen during working hours". If this continues, you can tell her "as we discussed, we've asked you not to be on your screen, and we see that you are. This is not something we can have". If she persists, it's time for a new nanny.

HappyMom321

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 1:16 pm

watergirl wrote:

Totally agree with all of this, but also you can tell your you don't want your baby having screen time. I feel like a nanny would understand that and won't feel defensive that you're saying "you shouldn't be on your phone so much during work." I've done this before - it isn't an easy balance! You don't want to upset the person watching your child, but you also have to stand up for what is important for your child. Be reasonable, and say something like "Of course you don't have to put your phone away all day, but we don't want our baby to be looking at a screen because it isn't so good for a baby, so please don't look so often and/or when you're holding her."
If it becomes too often that she is on her phone (I had a babysitter who was great but after some time was just watching her phone instead of the kids too often) then you can get a little stricter and say you need her to be on her phone less.
But I definitely agree that you should tell her about the cameras, and then wait a few days - you don't want her to feel untrusted.
Good luck!!

amother

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 2:02 pm

watergirl wrote:

Thanks!
It's day 1 of the cameras so no biggie.
How do I tell her that I installed it.
How do I bring it up?
I'm so bad. At conflict.

amother

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 2:03 pm

HappyMom321 wrote:

Thanks.
I like the way you put it into words.
Just need to know how to bring up the cameras now.

Elfrida

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 2:49 pm

If the cameras have only been there one day and are in obvious places, you can say something like, 'Oh, I forgot to mention it yesterday but we installed a few cameras around the house. They're fairly obvious, so you probably noticed it anyway, but I wanted to be sure that you knew.' End of discussion.

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Nov 02 2021, 3:40 pm

Depending on where you live, you may not be allowed to film without consent- but putting that aside I would not film her without her knowing! Definitely tell her they are there. Also, did you review that you don't want her to have screens around? It may be intuitive to you but not to her so a reminder of your expectations are helpful.

watergirl

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 3:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks all!
I did what Elfrida said and mentioned in passing that I put cameras up the day before.

I just logged In and the camera must have moved and she went over to it and turned it to the ceiling.

Wwyd?

Look over the recording. If she moved it, you would be able to see her do it.