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Forum
-> Inquiries & Offers
-> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
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amother
OP
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 Fri, Nov 05 2021, 11:13 am
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Lakewood neighborhood. Says mom and grandmother’s name on invitation. It’s in their house. Do women go?
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mamaleh
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Fri, Nov 05 2021, 11:30 am
In my experience, it depends on when she gave birth and how close you feel to her. If she is home then women who feel close (or have a relationship with grandmother, if she is there) will come. If she gave birth earlier in the week, more people will come, especially if grandmother is there.
ETA if you aren’t super close friends or next door neighbors, it is definitely not assumed you would come- ie no pressure
Last edited by mamaleh on Fri, Nov 05 2021, 11:57 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Junglegreen
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Fri, Nov 05 2021, 11:34 am
I’m for OOT and I think invites should specify men only if it’s not for women. Don’t know what it’s like in Lakewood. Oh my women’s neighborhood WhatsApp group a women once posted an invite that had both the SZ and bris info. I asked her if the SZ was for women and she said it wasn’t and my impression was that she thought it was funny that I would even have that question (not that she was rude about it.) she is from NY so maybe that’s just the in town norm that she didn’t think she needed to specify men only on a womens chat?
OP I would just ask the mom to be safe.
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imasinger
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Fri, Nov 05 2021, 11:43 am
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For the shalom zachor in Lakewood for my grandson, the setup was basically for the men. But the women of the house hung out in the kitchen, and a few other women came in the back and visited.
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amother
Garnet
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Fri, Nov 05 2021, 11:45 am
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Best to ask, I was 3 days post c-section and was horrified when women came. I was in bed. I lived in an apartment and the dining and living room were combined. The ladies had to stand in my tiny kitchen. Next Shalom Zachor was Shabbos Hagadol 2 days post c-section and we specified no chametz no kids no women.
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