WHY are our kids still getting homework

amother

Thu, Nov 04 2021, 11:18 pm

tp3 wrote:

Chumash and Navi teach yiras shomayim and emunas chachomim, in the curriculum I'm familiar with.
Halacha class they could be learning kibbud av vaim, tznius, hilchos lashon hara, shabbos, hashkamas haboker, and a number of others. Some of these teach midos tovos and some are straight halacha.
Why does kibbud av vaim take precedence for you over the others? That would not be my first choice if I had to choose. Like anything else, certain lessons will be learned right away and others later on in life.

[quote]

I didnt say I think kibud av vaeim takes precedence over a/t else. Just that I sure hope the kids ARE learning middos in school because a poster claimed the schools aren't teaching things like that.

amother

Hyacinth

Fri, Nov 05 2021, 12:01 am

BrisketBoss wrote:

It's hard, but teens are more likely to help on their own if you consistently accept their help from the time they're incompetent little toddlers. It's natural to want to help and no childhood-stealing is involved.

I was told that when my oldest was born. So, I let my kids when they were little "help"
Now they are teens and don't want to lift a finger, my big "help" is now my 4 year old. I have no illusions that he is going to help me when he can be a help.

amother

Narcissus

Fri, Nov 05 2021, 1:18 am

behappy2 wrote:

I'm case nobody mentioned this. I think there should be homework time in school for 30 minutes. Teach kids in school how to do homework. Have kids from older grades helping out. Not sure how realistic it is..

Am I the only one that enjoys doing homework with my kids? They are out so long I’m happy to have them home.
It’s a short bonding time. Gives me a chance to talk about what is going on in school. As long as it is done smartly (which bH my kids have minimal homework).
And it is not the responsibility of older kids to do homework with younger kids

I’d be annoyed if my 8th grade dd was spending time in school helping other children do homework.

amother

Charcoal

Fri, Nov 05 2021, 11:05 am

Chayalle wrote:

Um, I'm not sure helping your parents is part of the Halachos of Kibbud Av V'Aim. Honoring and respecting them, yes. Managing your household for you, taking care of your kids, etc....I'm not so sure.

As to helping the mother in the house being a priority...I disagree. The priority is to raise healthy (emotionally and physically and spiritually) Bnos Yisrael who will B"EH in the future establish their own homes (and not feel burnt out by the time they get there.)

You took my words out of context. Of course raising happy and healthy children is priority. I meant to say that helping a parent in the house is priority OVER homework. And I agree with you 100 percent that our children should not feel burnt out from the work we give them. That would be defeating the purpose of no homework. The idea is to minimize their stress and by burdening them with a lot of housework will do the same damage as burdening them with lots of homework.

And I will clarify what I meant to say with the message of kibud av v'em... I once had fifth grade teacher who taught us halachos on krias shema. One of the halachos we learned was that one should not make any break between ahavas olam and kr"s. I was a student who took every word to heart. A few days after we learned this our class was davening and just as we finished saying ahavas olam my teacher stopped at my desk and told me to pick up a dirt under my desk and throw it into the garbage. I was stunned. Here, my teacher taught us that we should not be making a hefsek when she herself commanded I did. She was a terrible role model. Unfortunately, teachers teach but don't apply what they teach into their lives, so how are students supposed to really grasp those ideas?

That being said, now think about our topic at hand. Daughter's hashkafa teacher speaks about honoring our parents etc etc. She then sends home hours of work for homework. It's after a long day, mom comes home and takes care of the kids. Mom would love to have her daughter help set the table for dinner but daughter is just too overwhelmed with studying for the four tests she'll be having the next day. Mom feels bad, and leaves her to study, but what lesson has the daughter gained? "My studying is more important than helping my mom." True, they should not have an obligation to take over the burden in the house, far from that, but just seeing that the mother is doing all the work on her own without any help, while her only teenager is not available to do minimal tasks sends the wrong message to the child.

I hope this has clarified my previous post.

amother

Narcissus

Fri, Nov 05 2021, 2:38 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

There is nothing wrong with choosing a path other than college. There is a lot wrong with how many high school graduates these days are used to sitting for hours, which has been proven unhealthy, and are incompetent at basic household tasks because they never had time to learn.

You have your whole life to learn those. Only one time to be a child.
I got married no k owing how to cook a thing. After one phone call with my other and some handwritten recipes. I cooked every Shabbos at home the first year I was married. Made pesach and yom tov first year I was married with no problem. I didn’t need years of practice to make soup or boil fish.

I have nieces and sister in laws that got married do burnt out from helping at home.

School work should be teaching time management which is crucial in life (having your mother rely on you to help make Shabbos just shows she doesn’t have good time management)

Cleanliness and organization can be learnt from how you keep your desk, bag, paperwork.

You learn social skills from spending time with friends and navigating social situations.

amother

Watermelon

Fri, Nov 05 2021, 2:41 pm

I did not read all the posts
The day my last child graduated from high school, I celebrated NO MORE HW. That was over 10 yrs ago. My girls in HighSchool had 16 subjects. Many only met 1x a week with tons of HW to get through the curriculum

I always said that they should have less subjects and each subject should be longer
Instead of 45 min. each subject should be 1.5hrs, 1 hr of instruction and 30 minutes review/hw in class.
I also think there should be a lot less testing
My girls were most days up until 2am, sometimes even more.
IMHO- grades should consist of a notebook check and 2 projects quarterly.