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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
4 year old walks too slowly
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 3:40 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She has a scooter, but she doesn't go faster with it and usually ends up wanting me to take it for her.

So here's the question: if we are in a hurry, should I tell her to stand on the stroller from the getgo, or would it be better to give her a chance to keep up walking, then tell her she needs to stand once she lags behind too much.

I don't want to make her feel defeated, but on the other hand she enjoys walking and I like her to walk, so even if she only gets to walk for one minute, maybe it's better than none? Or would it be setting her up for feeling like a failure?


Does she happily stand on the stroller? If so, then yes. If you're in a rush and you see she can't make it what's wrong with giving her a ride? I assume no one is making her sit in a seat all day so she anyway gets plenty of exercise. Walking outside is nice, so if you want her to go for walks with you, schedule them in a way that she can walk like a 4 year old. But otherwise, this doesn't sound like it's working for you, so just have her stand along.
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myname1




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 3:44 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She has a scooter, but she doesn't go faster with it and usually ends up wanting me to take it for her.

So here's the question: if we are in a hurry, should I tell her to stand on the stroller from the getgo, or would it be better to give her a chance to keep up walking, then tell her she needs to stand once she lags behind too much.

I don't want to make her feel defeated, but on the other hand she enjoys walking and I like her to walk, so even if she only gets to walk for one minute, maybe it's better than none? Or would it be setting her up for feeling like a failure?


I would just say from the start, "I need to get to the store quickly this morning, so why don't you stand on the stroller." I don't think it will be better for her to walk a minute, be told she's too slow, and then be "punished" by being put on/in the stroller. But do try to relax a bit and let her walk sometimes, when you can.

But yes, I agree with the above, it's not a reasonable expectation for a 4 year old to keep up with an adult, especially a mom in a rush!
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amother
Darkblue


 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 3:56 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She has a scooter, but she doesn't go faster with it and usually ends up wanting me to take it for her.

So here's the question: if we are in a hurry, should I tell her to stand on the stroller from the getgo, or would it be better to give her a chance to keep up walking, then tell her she needs to stand once she lags behind too much.

I don't want to make her feel defeated, but on the other hand she enjoys walking and I like her to walk, so even if she only gets to walk for one minute, maybe it's better than none? Or would it be setting her up for feeling like a failure?


Maybe only let her walk for the last minute or 2. That way you're not making her feel defeated, but will get to your destination faster.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 8:37 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She has a scooter, but she doesn't go faster with it and usually ends up wanting me to take it for her.

So here's the question: if we are in a hurry, should I tell her to stand on the stroller from the getgo, or would it be better to give her a chance to keep up walking, then tell her she needs to stand once she lags behind too much.

I don't want to make her feel defeated, but on the other hand she enjoys walking and I like her to walk, so even if she only gets to walk for one minute, maybe it's better than none? Or would it be setting her up for feeling like a failure?

You’re way overthinking this. She’s a toddler. You’re not setting her up for failure by plonking her down on a buggy board and getting moving. She’ll have plenty time in life for walking.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 8:53 am
I am going to disagree completely with everyone who says "4 years old is a baby."

No, they are way past being a toddler! I am constantly amazed at people who have older kids in strollers. DD insisted on walking since she was 2, because "strollers are for babies."

It might be easier for YOU to keep older kids in a stroller, but how are they going to develop strength and stamina if they aren't walking? They need to burn some of that energy, too. You do not have to travel at a snail's pace. Some fast walking to match your stride is healthy, too. It's good cardio.

And then you complain that they are slow, because they never got a chance to go on long walks! Where's the logic in that? If you have a NT, averagely developing child who is perfectly capable of walking on their own, then putting them in a stroller is like crippling them. STOP DOING IT!

Sure, they're going to whine and want to crawl back in. Deal with it. You're the parent. Your kids need to grow up and move around for their own health. If they only wanted to eat candy all day, would you give it just because it kept them quiet and made your life easier?

If you want your child to keep up, have them hold onto the stroller. Promise them a treat if they stay with you. If they refuse to cooperate, just say "OK, bye bye!" and keep walking without looking back. I can guarantee you that your child will come running. After a few times of saying "bye bye", your child will realize that they need to not dawdle so much, because you mean business.

(When I see older kids in strollers, I do my best not to judge, and just assume that they are special needs. Maybe they have low muscle tone, or are Autistic and have a tendency to run off suddenly. If you have a SN kid I will never say anything to you about it. I know you're doing your best.)
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 10:03 am
FF, I adore you as you know, but I'm going to disagree with you in part. It seems very important to OP to get to wherever it is she's going, pronto. The only way to get somewhere pronto with a 4-year-old is to have him in a stroller. Please note that OP doesn't plan to keep her dd sitting in a stroller, but standing on a bunkie board or whatever they call it. That alone is a form of exercise, developing balance if nothing else.

Otherwise there are the following options: a. leave the child home with a sitter and go yourself; b. allow approximately four times as much transit time as you would need yourself, and walk at a four-year-old's pace.
Among other things, four-year-olds are not just walking. They're checking out the environment, looking at interesting things like candy wrappers on the sidewalk, weeds growing in the cracks, their reflection in the sides of parked automobiles and so on. That's partly why they're so slow.

An adult going for a walk with a preschooler--not trying to get somewhere in a hurry, which is a mistake--has to make allowances for this. When you have to get there THIS century, the thing to do is pop 'em in a stroller. Or you start off with them walking and pop 'em in when you run out of patience or they run out of steam.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 10:08 am
zaq wrote:

Among other things, four-year-olds are not just walking. They're checking out the environment, looking at interesting things like candy wrappers on the sidewalk, weeds growing in the cracks, their reflection in the sides of parked automobiles and so on. That's partly why they're so slow.


Lehavdil, this sounds like when I take my dog for a walk. LOL She has to stop and smell Every. Single. Leaf. It's not about exercise for her, it's curiosity about her surroundings.

Children need to understand that there is a time for a leisurely walk, and a time to keep up with mom. A 4yo is certainly old enough to understand the difference.
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amother
Junglegreen


 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 10:24 am
FranticFrummie wrote:
Lehavdil, this sounds like when I take my dog for a walk. LOL She has to stop and smell Every. Single. Leaf. It's not about exercise for her, it's curiosity about her surroundings.

Children need to understand that there is a time for a leisurely walk, and a time to keep up with mom. A 4yo is certainly old enough to understand the difference.


I disagree. A four year old is not supposed to walk on an adults pace, (especially when the adult is rushing and walking fast.) Their legs are way shorter, it's unfair to make them keep up with an adults pace. They get plenty exercise throughout the day without needing to walk on an adults pace.
Children do not need to understand that there's a time that they need to keep up with mom. Mom needs to understand that a 4 year old can't keep up with an adult.
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amother
Magnolia


 

Post Fri, Nov 05 2021, 10:50 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She has a scooter, but she doesn't go faster with it and usually ends up wanting me to take it for her.

So here's the question: if we are in a hurry, should I tell her to stand on the stroller from the getgo, or would it be better to give her a chance to keep up walking, then tell her she needs to stand once she lags behind too much.

I don't want to make her feel defeated, but on the other hand she enjoys walking and I like her to walk, so even if she only gets to walk for one minute, maybe it's better than none? Or would it be setting her up for feeling like a failure?


I would recommend that you have a system where, when you're in a hurry, she could ride on the back of the stroller (or get a double stroller), but I also recommend that you carve out time in your schedule to take her on slow leisurely walks that allow her to explore the world around her and at the same time help the two of you build a loving relationship.
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Stars




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 06 2021, 10:23 pm
FF I think this is the first time in my imamother history where I disagree with you. Four year olds are not toddlers anymore but they are still very very young children.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 06 2021, 10:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I worded this wrong. The problem is not that she keeps walking but just walks slowly, it's more her stopping to play with things on the way. If she were consistently walking just at a slow place, that would be different.


She is 4 years old!!!!! Put her in a stroller if you don’t have patience for her !! Seriously ??!!
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amother
Oleander


 

Post Sat, Nov 06 2021, 10:30 pm
This thread is surprising me!! My almost 5 year old still sits in the stroller!
Whats the issue
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amother
Mulberry


 

Post Sat, Nov 06 2021, 10:53 pm
My 4 year olds do not go in the stroller, but then again, I have a car and walking with my 4 year olds is for around the corner, or shabbos transportation.

When I lived in EY, my main for more transportation was walking. My 4 yo did a lot of walking, but if it was far or I was rushed, we would take a bus.

Also, when I'd walk, I'd leave myself time for walking at a 4 yo pace of if was walking with them.

OP, can you cheshbon your time for travelling and slow your pace some times?
Otherwise, buggy boards sound like the invention meant for you!
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nchr




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 06 2021, 10:58 pm
Stopping is also age appropriate. You can stop that a little by having her hold onto the carriage while you walk. She won't walk as fast as an adult, but it helps prevent distractions.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Sat, Nov 06 2021, 11:02 pm
Zehava wrote:
You’re way overthinking this. She’s a toddler. You’re not setting her up for failure by plonking her down on a buggy board and getting moving. She’ll have plenty time in life for walking.


Totally agree; I also think it's fine to tell her ahead of time that we are going for a walk, if mommy sees we need to get there faster you will come stand on the stroller. No hurt involved bc it's neutral. I do think it's sweet that you're trying to be so considerate of her feelings and she will feel that!
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