Att: actuaries | Imamother

amother

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 1:10 pm

amother [ Bergamot ] wrote:

Yes, family member of mine. No idea how she does it all.

I guess if you don't know how she does it, then you can't really help much Wink

Any details you can give, though, I'd appreciate. How many exams does she have left, does she usually pass, how many kids, does she ever get to see her kids!

amother

Almond

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 1:21 pm

I know some who passed exams with multiple kids. I passed 1 exam while pregnant and 1 with one kid. Still finishing up with credentials for my FSA, but hopefully done with exams. If the question is whether it's doable, it is! If the question is whether it's hard, it is! Smile

But it is doable! Don't give up! If you have specific questions for someone who did it with 1 kid, I'm happy to try to answer

amother

Bergamot

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 1:34 pm

She has a number of kids, there are at least 2 years between each. She works full time too. She is a very industrious, very nose-to-the-grindstone, uncomplaining kind of person. And clearly very intelligent. Wish I could provide more insight than that! I know it’s definitely stressful for her, I don’t know that she’s thrilled with the field she chose. I’m not aware that she has failed any but I’m not 100% sure. I think she has taken most of them.

amother

Wine

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 1:35 pm

I know someone who did and is doing it and her kids are mostly raised by others.
Just saying it how it is. It's sad to watch.

amother

Ultramarine

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 1:43 pm

I know several women who did it and a few who took the CPAs married with children. All were super smart and motivated and all had husbands with very flexible schedules.
The ones I know are involved loving mothers albeit for less hours a day than some other careers would make possible.

amother

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 2:16 pm

I passed exams with a kid or two. I probably could become a Fellow in about 2 years, if I chose to. I'm sure it would be possible, I'm just not sure if I want to... Mostly because of how little time I'd have for my kids.
If I could have a fully remote job during the whole process, plus study time, then it wouldn't actually be too bad. Until the weeks leading up to the exam, I'd be studying during the time that I'd otherwise be commuting. Just can't decide...
I'm talking little kids. My oldest would be unlikely to consciously have much memory of me studying.

amother

Wine

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 3:58 pm

amother [ Ultramarine ] wrote:

I think the part that needs to be emphasized is the husbands with flexible schedules. Your husband has to be willing to take that role and to work around you.

Someone needs to pick up the pieces.

This person I know hardly cooks for her family, mostly live on frozen meals, her house is clean the days the cleaning lady is there, most of the day the kids are with babysitters, and there is a very strong message pervasive in their lives - career mom lives here. She will say her family comes first but that's not what the reality is.

agreer

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 5:45 pm

amother [ Wine ] wrote:

I know someone who did and is doing it and her kids are mostly raised by others.
Just saying it how it is. It's sad to watch.

You shouldn't be sad. That's very judgy.

Some mothers don't want to raise their children 24/7. They want to work and have someone else do the hard stuff (I.e. toddlers!!!)

Some mothers CAN'T stop working because they need the money. Like this they'll be able to afford the things their children need and won't have to take tzedakah or steal. How beautiful of them!