We don't give gifts thread

amother

Moonstone

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 4:36 pm

amother [ DarkKhaki ] wrote:

We do gifts every night. the way u wrote this is wrong. It’s after candle lighting while dh and I are both present, each kid gets something small. It’s far from “waking up every morning to wrapped gifts under the chanuka menorah”

I didn't write anything wrong. You not doing this doesn't make what I wrote wrong.

amother

Blue

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 5:27 pm

We give gelt, and we buy a game and some activities that we play and do with the kids on a few of the nights. We also buy books- often, it's an organized trip to the book store and everyone picks. The game and books are something we try to do for each chag of the year.

seeker

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 6:26 pm

I like to do something special each night after/around candle lighting. Usually a couple of those are gifts - we have relatives who send gifts so we open that one night after lighting. The other nights are edibles (doughnuts etc) or other treats, including visiting relatives and just having fun hanging out with other people and places. There's usually a party somewhere at some point, you get the idea. I generally buy a present for my kids as one of the treats but last year I didn't even end up giving it, we were so satisfied with other fun things. I ended up saving the toy-gift for a random boring quarantine day. Oh, there were also new pajamas - it's something they needed anyway but I go for soft, cute ones and nobody seemed bummed at that being a gift. Maybe one day when they're older they'll realize they were a cliche all along ;-) (one year was fuzzy slipper socks. "@amother: don't worry, when I was a kid we literally got SOCKS as a Chanukah present, I guarantee your kid will be fine with the $20")

amother

Blue

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 6:30 pm

seeker wrote:

We also have relatives who send gifts for us to give for Chanukah. Both dh and I were raised with gifts and decided not to do it. But it's important to the grandparents. We try to not give them two nights in a row and to use them with the kids so the holiday isn't so focused on them, but we're not always successful.

amother

Tan

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 6:32 pm

We enjoy the candles and sing together. One night kids get money for chanukah gelt and every night a special edible treat for chanuka like doughnuts. No gifts for as far as I remember, maybe one year a big present for all the kids instead of gelt...
Past few years we make an official party one night with a game and nice decoration. The fun part of it that every teenager gets a different task than they usually do, so the kitchen kid gets to decorate and the one who always goes shopping is suddenly responsible for the game etc and everyone gets to try out a new skill and the results are unbelievable fun chanukah family time:)
I think that the sense of fulfillment and trying something new and fun is a great gift:)

Another mom

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 10:21 pm

amother [ Moonstone ] wrote:

We were brought up that gifts are chukas hag0y and we don't give gifts either. We give chanuka gelt and do something special every day.
This new trend of the kids finding gifts every morning and decorating the outside of the house with lights and decorations, doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't come from a jewish source.

In the morning?? Yes, it sounds like a take-off of a non- Jewish custom. We give right after Hadlakat Neirot. And not daily

amother

Midnight

Wed, Nov 10 2021, 4:36 am

Oh thank goodness for living in Israel. I can do whatever I fancy without anybody comparing it with the mc-anybodies from down the block.
I love Chanuka! Kids love gifts and toys!! I loving watching them getting stuff that makes them happy.
One evening is a gift evening. Others are for latkes, trips to fancy bakeries to select shmancy dounuts, bingo games, draidel games, Menora shaped cookie baking and walks around the neighborhood to see all the shimmering Menorah's in the window.

DVOM

Wed, Nov 10 2021, 7:26 am

Our Chanukah habits have evolved over the years.

At this point, our kids like to choose their gifts themselves. Each kid gets 20$ from me and my husband, and 10$ from their grandparents, and we usually go gift shopping on Chanukah, often on their day off from school.

I often will buy a 'family gift' for one night of Chanukah. It could be a board game, or a fun food tool, like a smoothie maker or popcorn machine. This year the kids have been asking for a pizza oven. Might do that, though it's a bit expensive.

We play present related games like pass the present or a homemade pinata. The presents I use for these games are dollar store stuff.

We also go to town with Chanukah foods. Donuts, chocolate coins, latkas...yummy!

Oooohhhh! I'm getting so excited! I love Chanukah!

amother

Denim

Wed, Nov 10 2021, 7:45 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

In what community is this a trend? I have never heard of such a thing.
Thats really awful.

I am in my 20s and when I was growing up many people did this then. Not necessarily waking up to gifts but 1 gift each night. I love this thread! My parents never got us gifts but my grandparents did. Never felt deprived.

amother

Steel

Wed, Nov 10 2021, 8:32 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I love it. Dreidel, sufganiyot, latkes, chocolate gelt, music, lighting the chanukiya and then enjoying the candles Smile

Same with us. We also decorate inside the house. My kids love it. They actually don't yet know bh that giving nightly chanuka gifts is a thing in some homes. We do have a birthday on chanuka and at a sibling birthday everyone gets gifts anyhow so there is gifting butbits not chanuka- specific

amother

Yolk

Wed, Nov 10 2021, 12:13 pm

By us the younger ones get gifts and the older ones get gelt.
A five year old doesn't understand the value of money.
My mil give very generous amount of gelt and my parents give modest gifts but my kids prefer my mothers presents.

amother

Hibiscus

Wed, Nov 10 2021, 7:15 pm

amother [ DarkKhaki ] wrote:

Same !