YT bar mitzvah- is that a thing?

amother

Sat, Nov 13 2021, 7:35 pm

If you have a son whose birthday is close to or on a YT, and the way his bar mitzvah falls out is the the first shabbos after his birthday is YT, do you make the bar mitzvah on YT or wait until the shabbos after? Thinking about it, I don't think I've ever been to YT bar mitzvah. Not to mention, it would be more difficult logistically, especially if you have to host family, that's 2 days vs 1 for just a regular shabbos. So what do people do? How does it work? Thanks.

amother

Hawthorn

Sat, Nov 13 2021, 7:52 pm

This just happened to us. My son was born on yom tov. He got an aliya on his bo bayom. They sang mazel tov in shul
He lained and had his kiddush the following shabbos.

amother

Sand

Sat, Nov 13 2021, 8:10 pm

A nephew was born on Yom Tov. The Bar Mitzvah year fell out on a three day Yom Tov. Only the grandparents were put up for Yom Tov to be in Shul for the Aliya. They had a kiddush for the community and a party afterwards for the boys friends and family who wasn't there.

amother

Blush

Sat, Nov 13 2021, 9:24 pm

Ds born on Pesach. On his bo bayom (which came out Shabbos Chol Hamoed) he got an aliya, we had local family over for the seudos and he made a siyum. Isru Chag he put on Tefillin (we do on bo byom). Then that shabbos - shabbos after YT - we made a public kiddish.
So yes, do it after. I have only ever been to an aufruf on a last day of YT now that I think about it, and that not very often either.

amother

Broom

Sat, Nov 13 2021, 10:00 pm

My son was born between Yom Kippur and Sukkos. He has 2 cousins who were born shortly after him.
Looking at the calendar (he is 11 so it's 2 years from now) if we each make our simcha the actual week, my son would be Shabbos 1st day Sukkos, nephew would be Shabbos Shmini Atzeres, and other nephew would be Bereishis. I don't want to push off because when would we do it? Noach? But maybe Shmini Atzeres nephew would want Noach and then we would do Lech Lecha?

So I am thinking just to do 1st day Sukkos/Shabbos. Most of our family is in town so it wouldn't entail too much hosting. We would need a sukkah big enough to hold everyone for kiddush and meals though.

amother

Olive

Sat, Nov 13 2021, 10:46 pm

Logistically, a Yom Tov bar mitzvah is hard because if it's Sukkos you need to host everyone in a Sukkah, and if it's Pesach, the food situation is complex and expensive.

That leaves Shavuos. Lots of people stay up all night and then sleep during the day. In Israel, the whole Yom Tov is over before you know it. In chutz laaretz, you do have a second day, but do you want to find housing for your guests for two days? Especially when lots of your neighbors will be hosting their own families, that's going to be hard.

So really the only possible time is Simchas Torah, but the day is fairly chaotic.

There's no reason to insist on making a bar mitzvah exactly on time. Yes, every shul has a backlog on Noach and Lech Lecha. Reserve early.

amother

Sun, Nov 14 2021, 8:56 am

Yup, this is the situation. My son's birthday is between Yom Kippur and Sukkos, his bar mitzvah year, first day of Sukkos falls on Shabbos so that would be his bar mitzvah Shabbos. But Sukkos in particular sounds like a logistical nightmare, even if I found people places to stay, having a kiddush/meal would be tough, even a shul sukkah would be a squeeze. So I imagine it's going to have to be Shabbos bereishis.