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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Nov 23 2021, 12:36 pm
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No one in my circles speak in a kind voice. Even if someone is not mean, their voice doesn't have this warm, soft voice. I have noticed other people saying all words in such a caring way. The words it's ok or oy vei or come here in such a soft tune. I want to speak to my children like this. How can I learn to have a loving voice?
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amother
Oxfordblue
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Tue, Nov 23 2021, 12:49 pm
You can deliberately speak more softly. Take a deep breath before speaking to slow yourself down and to be aware of your tone.
Don't do the saccharine fake sweet voice, though. Everyone can see through that.
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amother
Natural
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Tue, Nov 23 2021, 12:57 pm
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I find speaking slower and quieter comes across as soft.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Nov 23 2021, 12:58 pm
| amother [ Natural ] wrote: | | I find speaking slower and quieter comes across as soft. |
I speak slow and quiet, but it doesn't sound caring 
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amother
Lightgreen
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Tue, Nov 23 2021, 3:11 pm
Kol hakavod.
This is one of my top goals for self improvement.
It is a work in progress.
I finally realized that yelling is a power trip even when you rationalize it as a vent. It is bullying.
It's using power over someone to scare or intimidate.
I realized this when I became a morah and yelling wasn't an option.
You are never loud, angry and rough to people who have power over you (eg boss, supervisor).
It's a tough habit to break. I wish I could turn the clock back and rewind all the times I yelled at my spouse and kids.
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mindyme
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Tue, Nov 23 2021, 5:11 pm
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What a beautiful thing to strive for! Kol hakavod!
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amother
Caramel
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Tue, Nov 23 2021, 5:51 pm
Practice in the mirror. My husband actually talks really roughly. Totally doesn't realize. We all get intimidated by him including my kids. I have told him to record himself and practice talking more gently. He didn't take it very well 
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