Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Responding nastily to posts
Previous  1  2  3  4



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

dinatov




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 7:01 am
Listen, as a teacher who facilitates a LOT of classroom discussions, I'd like to introduce you to something called "accountable talk."

In short, students may absolutely disagree with each other, but
1. THEY MAY NEVER BASH ANYONE 2.
They must back up their points. So no screaming, "NUH UH!!" You simply say, "I disagree with this because xyz..."

Discussions stay juicy, no one gets nasty.
Back to top

amother
Forsythia


 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 7:05 am
WhatFor wrote:
I didn't get to comment on that thread and didn't read the entire thing, but I kept wanting to say something. I believe it was about a story of newlyweds in Benai berak and a man who manipulated them? Well, when I was in seminary I helped a friend with waitressing at a couple of Benai berak weddings. At one, I believe the bride was fifteen, at another sixteen. Everyone is assuming that because someone is married they're women. But to me a fifteen year old very sheltered girl is still a child.

That's aside from the fact that adults are also vulnerable to emotional manipulation. But everyone was looking at the word "married" and assuming adult. And if somehow I happened to waitress at a couple of rare young-bride weddings, it's definitely not uncommon for these girls to be married at 17 or 18.

But to the main topic, I've seen posts overtly disrespectful and unkind to large groups of other posters here, and other posters praising those same posts while also lamenting that they just hate the general disrespect on this site. When I see that, it honestly makes me feel like, what is there even to talk about with this person?

Yup to all of this
Back to top

watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 7:08 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Um. Did any of you read the category it’s under? Lakewood? In lakewood there are usually only women of the Mexican origin that clean our houses.. therefore I didn’t even THINK that we were talking about Israel cleaning ladies- frum Jewish nice women.

And just for the record- my own mom cleans houses in ISRAEL. So yeah….

The comment to you that I quoted before, to which you replied that you did not think there were non-Jews on this forum was not about Lakewood, it was about cleaning ladies in general. There are cleaning ladies on this forum.

Also, I do not live in Israel, and the women I am referring to in my other post is not in Israel. I could even be in Lakewood... I am sure you do not know every single person there.

People all need to think before they type, which includes me and it includes you.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 7:14 am
watergirl wrote:
The comment to you that I quoted before, to which you replied that you did not think there were non-Jews on this forum was not about Lakewood, it was about cleaning ladies in general. There are cleaning ladies on this forum.

Also, I do not live in Israel, and the women I am referring to in my other post is not in Israel. I could even be in Lakewood... I am sure you do not know every single person there.

People all need to think before they type, which includes me and it includes you.


Last sentence I agree with. The others I don’t have time to explain.. trying to work now
Back to top

flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 7:20 am
Many times someone vents about something. When I read it there are 2 pages already. I read through the comments and want to scream! They are all so mean- one after the other. If someone is venting then be nice and sympathetic a bit. Even if you disagree then first validate her feelings then share your opinion gently. People should really read their comment three times before hitting the submit button.
Back to top

Reality




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 9:51 am
WhatFor wrote:
I didn't get to comment on that thread and didn't read the entire thing, but I kept wanting to say something. I believe it was about a story of newlyweds in Benai berak and a man who manipulated them? Well, when I was in seminary I helped a friend with waitressing at a couple of Benai berak weddings. At one, I believe the bride was fifteen, at another sixteen. Everyone is assuming that because someone is married they're women. But to me a fifteen year old very sheltered girl is still a child.

That's aside from the fact that adults are also vulnerable to emotional manipulation. But everyone was looking at the word "married" and assuming adult. And if somehow I happened to waitress at a couple of rare young-bride weddings, it's definitely not uncommon for these girls to be married at 17 or 18.

But to the main topic, I've seen posts overtly disrespectful and unkind to large groups of other posters here, and other posters praising those same posts while also lamenting that they just hate the general disrespect on this site. When I see that, it honestly makes me feel like, what is there even to talk about with this person?


Thank you for pointing this out. I had no idea it was the norm in Bnei Brak to get married at 15-16. That is definitely a child still!!
Back to top

ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 10:39 am
OP, I'm getting the sense you're new here.

This is a site for nice frum women.

But it's a diverse crowd of frum women with diverse experiences. For example, there are converts of various ethnic backgrounds on here, plus many others who are more sensitive to racism than what you might be used to, so "no, I was insulting Mexicans" doesn't really fix the problem.

Basically, you have to assume that any group of people you might be irritated with - anything from Satmar chassidim to non-Jewish Arabs to medical researchers - there's going to be someone here who's either a member of that group, or has first-degree relatives who are. And post accordingly. If you do that, it tends to be a decently nice place.

As long as you avoid the politics section.
Back to top

amother
Whitesmoke


 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 1:05 pm
To be honest, I realized you were the Op of the cleaning lady thread from the tone of your posts in this thread lol
Is it possible that maybe you don’t realize that your posts are a bit offensive?
Back to top

amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 3:18 pm
I'm not saying that there aren't ever posts that cross the line into nasty, but I do find that words on a screen cannot compare to the non verbal cues of a spoken conversation. The tone of black and white letters can be interpreted in one way by one person and another by another person.
I know I used to work for a boss, who was actually a really sweet and caring person, but she was very curt in her messages and it often led to people misinterpreting and misunderstanding what she meant and they would get upset, and she hadn't meant it at all that way.
Back to top

chanatron1000




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 24 2021, 4:53 pm
One thing I think is rude is when people talk about someone instead of to her. Doing this in a real life conversation would be really weird. What I mean is like this:

Person A: I think that X is true.
Person B: I don't think that X is true. X is certainly untrue.
Person C: I also think that X is untrue and Y is true.
Person B: Agreed 100%, person C. I know some people think X is true, but those people are wrong.
Person A: I still think X is true because reasons.
Person C: (quoting Person B) Totally. Person A is so misguided.
Back to top
Page 4 of 4 Previous  1  2  3  4 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Why all the tipping posts
by amother
0 Sun, Mar 24 2024, 8:04 pm View last post
Fyi Reddit is having a field day with all of the new posts
by amother
28 Thu, Jul 20 2023, 7:04 pm View last post
Deleted posts from a thread
by amother
5 Thu, Jul 13 2023, 5:35 am View last post
PSA: Don’t screenshot posts and send to someone’s ex
by Kiwi13
24 Wed, Apr 05 2023, 1:32 pm View last post
Crooshanks...any pesach posts?
by amother
0 Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:10 am View last post