Seperating the cemetary

Mommastuff

Fri, Nov 26 2021, 11:52 am

Question: Why do some cemetaries/chevra kadisha have the custom to bury men & women seperately, even couples?
I'm looking for halacha or minhag - just wondering why. TY

essie14

Sat, Nov 27 2021, 11:25 am

Never heard of this. I have family buried in many different cemeteries and married couples are always together. Siblings as well.

Elfrida

Sat, Nov 27 2021, 12:01 pm

Never heard of this either. When my mother was niftar, the chevra kadisha asked my father if they should reserve an adjoining plot for him. He said no, because he was planning to make aliyah, and would be buried in Israel. They buried her in a row of single plots, but there were both men and women there.

BadTichelDay

Sat, Nov 27 2021, 3:15 pm

Here in Israel, it isn't seperate, at least not in the cemeteries I've seen. Dh also has never heard of such a thing.
Can't think of any halachic reason for separation.(Pardon my sarcasm, but mixed burial most likely won't lead to mixed dancing, at least not before t'chiyat ha-meitim Hiding

)

rainbow dash

Sat, Nov 27 2021, 3:25 pm

Here in Antwerp its separate. But the cemetery is in Holland. Its sad cause I was really hoping to be buried together with DH.also hes a choen

Chickensoupprof

Sat, Nov 27 2021, 3:52 pm

rainbow dash wrote:

Here in Antwerp its separate. But the cemetery is in Holland. Its sad cause I was really hoping to be buried together with DH.also hes a choen

I know the cemetary is inthe Netherlands, but didn't knew it was seperate because Muiderberg and here in Nijmegen it is mixed.

doodlesmom

Sat, Nov 27 2021, 6:32 pm

I know after ww2 a cemetery did separations because of second marriages.
I always wondered about that, if there’s a second marriage who is one buried near….l

Mommastuff

Sat, Nov 27 2021, 9:32 pm

From what I understand, it's not a matter of tzinus, but rather because men & women are different spiritually. But I'm wondering why that matters in a cemetary.
Kohanim, leviim & yisraelim are not burried seperately, right? How about religious & non religious?
Why would different types of kedusha need to be seperate??
And it may not be the cemetary but the ones burying them which have the minhag.

simcha2

Sat, Nov 27 2021, 9:54 pm

Mommastuff wrote:

I've never heard of this. But in general מעשה אבות סימן לבנים. If Avraham and Sara can be buried together, and Yitzchak and Rivka, I can't see a rationale using either kedusha levels or tznius.

zaq

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 12:06 am

Actually some cemeteries have special sections for kohanim, visible from the road and kept free of overhanging trees, so that their children can visit.

Genius

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 12:19 am

doodlesmom wrote:

I know after ww2 a cemetery did separations because of second marriages.
I always wondered about that, if there’s a second marriage who is one buried near….l

This is the reason. Men and women were traditionally buried together but after the war the situation got sticky with the second marriages. So some cemeteries just divided the genders. I don’t think it’s spirituality and it’s not tznius which I’d venture to guess doesn’t apply to dead people.

asmileaday

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 12:40 am

The Viznitz cemetery in Monsey alternates 1 row ladies 1 row men. So husband and wife can be buried together one in back of the other just not side by side.
I don't know the reasoning though.

Elfrida

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 1:26 am

Some cemeteries seperate shomrei Shabbos from those who were not shomer Shabbat during their life, because kabbalistically the company you are in can affect the neshama after death.

Some Israeli cemeteries have chelkat hatzaddikim, which I had assumed was for ease of visiting, but may be for kabbalistic, spiritual reasons.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 3:25 am

Mommastuff wrote:

Some cemeteries have sections for kohanim that are closer to the road so that people can visit their loved ones and not be "in" the actual area with he graves, if that makes sense.
As for men and women, the only place I ever saw this was in a chasidish section of a cemetery my grandfather is buried in. Never saw it any other place.

rzab

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 6:42 am

The cemetery where my grandparents are buried is separate. And it makes no sense to me. It makes it harder for the family.
When my grandmother passed away, my grandfather was very upset about it. His first wife was killed in aushwitz, I heard him muttering under his breath at least this time there's a kever