My love language is gifts, my husbands is NOT!

amother

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:02 am

Grrrrr it’s so frustrating. I love giving gifts and getting gifts. I know not to expect anything at this point but I still can dream. I’ve told him straight out. Doesn’t have to be anything major, even a bar of chocolate! Makes me feel like he’s thinking about me! His response? “I always think about you 🙄” whatever, I know it’s stupid, I’m just venting.

amother

Brickred

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:04 am

Buy yourself a gift and ask him to give it to you.

amother

Milk

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:06 am

I'm with you.
I don't expect anything at this point, and it doesn't do anything for me to buy presents for myself, so I've just accepted that other people get presents and I don't.
It's painful.

My dh's love language is acts of service, which I don't especially appreciate, but he's not changing, so I just try to appreciate the things he does for me. Sometimes works and sometimes doesn't.

amother

Milk

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:08 am

amother [ Brickred ] wrote:

Buy yourself a gift and ask him to give it to you.

Personally, that doesn't feel good at all.
It's like telling someone "here's a compliment that you should tell me. Now please tell it to me."

It's not the Thing I need. It's the giving. Bring gifted something out of love.

amother

Ebony

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:09 am

amother [ Milk ] wrote:

Personally, that doesn't feel good at all.
It's like telling someone "here's a compliment that you should tell me. Now please tell it to me."

Agree. I want to get a gift that he felt I deserve. Not one I bought myself, that’s not a gift in my books.

Sewsew_mom

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:10 am

Mine isn't gifts.. And I still like to feel thought of every so often. My husband never buys me gifts. It would be nice!

amother

Red

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:12 am

I actually think the hardest love language is gifts. Bh Dh and I don’t have it. If he did I KNOW it would be super super hard for me. I’m not super thoughtful like that. Life feels very chaotic at times and it would be a constant pressure for me. Dh love language is words of affirmation. Even thou there are times I find it hard I definitely am able to achieve this with a lot less effort

amother

Brickred

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:14 am

amother [ Milk ] wrote:

I would love a compliment like that.

amother

Milk

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:17 am

amother [ Brickred ] wrote:

I would love a compliment like that.

Huh? You would tell your dh "Please tell me I look beautiful" so he says "you look beautiful" and now you feel like he thinks you're beautiful?

amother

Brickred

Sun, Nov 28 2021, 10:19 am

amother [ Milk ] wrote:

Huh? You would tell your dh "Please tell me I look beautiful" so he says "you look beautiful" and now you feel like he thinks you're beautiful?

Not that exact example because it's not the compliment I'm looking for. But for the compliments I want to hear, it wouldn't make a difference if I asked for it or not or if the person believes it or not. I just want to hear a good word.