Daughter speaks with chutzpa

amother

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 7:16 pm

I'm at my witts end. My sweet calm happy 5 year old daughter changed so much since she started school. She is always angry and speaks with such chutzpah now. Whenever she doesn't get what she wants she screams and yells. She scratches hurts and bites. We speak calmly to her and explain to her she can't always get everything. We definitely don't spoil her. I'm at my witts end. She says "I'm gonna bite you and kill you." It's just so unacceptable at this point. Chizuk and tips needed...checked for strep.

SuperWify

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 7:19 pm

She’s five. Try to reframe. She’s a baby saying stupid things to get your attention and it’s working.

My son likes to threaten me that- Hashem is going to break you, mommy. Or- hashem is so angry at you! Or- your a mean mommy.

I roll my eyes and walk away. I don’t respond. When he’s calm we talk.

Last edited by SuperWify on Wed, Dec 01 2021, 7:19 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Pistachio

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 7:23 pm

One possible idea: Speak to the feeling behind the words, "you sound very sad and frustrated" and when she's calmer, give her ideas and practice other expressions she can use when angry.

mushkamothers

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 7:42 pm

What happened since school started? Poor child is obviously having a hard time. How is she doing in school, socially. And even if you checked for strep don't rule out pandas.

BatyaEsther

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 7:51 pm

Is she being bullied in school?
Not saying she is, but sometimes they lash out at home when they are not being treated well by their peers

#BestBubby

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 7:57 pm

If this is out of character for DD than something is hurting her.

Probably something at school. Maybe a child. maybe a teacher.

Try to spend quiet 1 on 1 time. maybe playing school with mentchies. make one of the kids or morah mentchies say something mean and then be quiet and see if DD reacts.

taketwo

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 8:00 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I think this is great advice.

It doesn't have to be she is being bullied it could be as simple as being out of schedule or needing more attention. But either way I think one on one time and really listening to anything she has to say is a good idea.

amother

Darkblue

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 8:47 pm

SuperWify wrote:

I agree with the ignoring but rolling eyes... no. Kids pick up on that in a millisecond. Not something I want to teach my kids as a way to react.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 9:24 pm

Sounds suspiciously like strep/pandas Sad

please have her seen by someone who is familiar with this and knows how to diagnose. The sooner you get treatment the better chance she has at remission.

Zehava

Wed, Dec 01 2021, 9:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Time to put on your mommy detective hat and figure out if there’s anything at school or on the bus that’s bothering her