Getting this off my chest

amother

Mon, Dec 06 2021, 10:06 am

Feel free to weigh in if you want! Mostly I wanted to get this off my chest.
Husband and I are going to move We just had a baby, BH” and are going to need more space soon! Our options are between a very small community and a much larger frum community.
Small one: (pros)
-had one shul, we both like the rabbi and rebetzin
- is conservative enough for me and accepting enough for him (we have somewhat different practices , although we are both frum, obviously)
-subsides day school tuition
-helps families with loans to buy homes
-provides buses to two major day schools in the area
-much less expensive
-absolutely beautiful mikveh
Cons:
-VERY SMALL COMMUNITY- talking two or three other families with young children
-About thirty minute drive from nearest kosher grocery stores/restaurants/ schools

Larger community
Pros:
-Nearly every frum person in the state lives here!!!
- I have lots of friends / coworkers/ connections in the area
- there are blocks filled with frum families and my ideal is for my children to be able to go outside and play with other frum kids as much as possible which is the vibe I get from this neighborhood
- lots of parks filled with little Jewish kids playing all the time 😍. Makes my mommy/ morah heart melt

Cons:
-ITS SO EXPENSIVE . Part of me is more than willing to pay extra for my kids to be in the right kind of environment but if I can get a smaller but still lovely community for much less it’s hard for me to justify especially because we want lots of kids IYH and will have to pay for chinuch!

amother

Ivory

Mon, Dec 06 2021, 10:11 am

It sounds like you've really thought this through. The one piece you haven't shared is your income. Can you afford the larger community now? If not, will you likely be able to afford it in the future?

If you can afford the bigger community, then move there. If not, consider saving up for the move. You're not committed for life..

There is also the possibility that the small community may grow, in which case you will eventually have the best of both worlds.

cupcake123

Mon, Dec 06 2021, 11:16 am

Wow hatzlacha with whatever desision you make!
I think you should look at the potential of the small community. Will it be growing? Stay the same ? If the community will grow and your just the pioneers I would go for it. But if it's been this small for a while and will stay small you need to make the desision...

seeker

Mon, Dec 06 2021, 12:14 pm

You just had your first baby? You have time. You can join the smaller community, maybe it will grow around you, maybe you will love it. If it stagnates and you still only have a couple of other families with children when your kid is old enough to know the difference, then you can move to a larger community at that time. Maybe there will even be more options at that time.