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Love my 2 year old but he ruins every morning for me
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amother
Zinnia


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 5:32 pm
OP, I could have totally written your post. My dd is exactly the same. It's a nightmare. She is soooo stubborn. Bribing, talking to her is useless. She will only do what she wants to do. If I come with the stroller, she wants to go in the car. If I come with the car, she wants to go in the stroller. Getting her into the car is the first battle (she tries to run away giggling). Very occasionally she will get distracted if I give her something to eat/play with but I don't like doing it as I feel she then will expect it every time, and it doesn't usually work. But she will tantrum 5 minutes later that she didn't get it.
And I won't get into how she is with getting dressed or anything else. I'm hoping that she will get a little easier soon.
So I don't have any useful advice but you're not alone.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 5:34 pm
amother [ Bluebonnet ] wrote:
Try putting him in the car- not in the car seat and saying “Okay - you can jump around and play in the car for a few minutes and then when you’re ready please sit in your car seat so we can go” And then sit down in the car and wait a few minutes for him.
If after a few minutes he still doesn’t want to get in his seat you can say- “Mommy is going to wait another minute for you to be ready but then we really have to go so I will help you get into your seat”
This takes away the power struggle because you’re giving him space to do what he wants also. Try it!


So he’s recently 2 and not very verbally advanced. My kids all seem to have the same genes. Extremely physically advanced (a few walked before 10 months!!!) but the don’t really start to understand or communicate till closer to 2.5-3. The first kid I freaked out and did tons of therapy and then realized it’s just my kids and they eventually catch up and then don’t shut up lol. So he would never understand such reasoning. I would just be setting myself up for a bigger fight cuz he’ll think he has that freedom now. Yes it’s very hard to have toddlers who are so physically advanced but he’s my first boy and he’s NEW LEVELS
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 5:35 pm
amother [ Zinnia ] wrote:
OP, I could have totally written your post. My dd is exactly the same. It's a nightmare. She is soooo stubborn. Bribing, talking to her is useless. She will only do what she wants to do. If I come with the stroller, she wants to go in the car. If I come with the car, she wants to go in the stroller. Getting her into the car is the first battle (she tries to run away giggling). Very occasionally she will get distracted if I give her something to eat/play with but I don't like doing it as I feel she then will expect it every time, and it doesn't usually work. But she will tantrum 5 minutes later that she didn't get it.
And I won't get into how she is with getting dressed or anything else. I'm hoping that she will get a little easier soon.
So I don't have any useful advice but you're not alone.


Thank u!!! So good to know I’m not completely crazy
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behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 6:13 pm
If that things aren't working and he just is the way he is maybe change the way you approach it. As you buckle him even if you need to use force breathe calmly and gently, sing a nice song, smile at him. It may change your whole morning!
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amother
Chicory


 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 10:50 pm
Omg I am in the same boat! I have 2 little boys who jump around my car and refuse to strap in and even unstrapped themselves while I'm driving. So so so frustrating and exasperating
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taketwo




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 09 2021, 11:52 pm
Violence is never the answer.

At 2 he understands more than you think he does.

You can validate him. Say something like "you don't like the carseat, right? Wait for some sort of response, even a grunt. I know. Car seats are not fun, but if we want to go places we have to sit in them and strap in. Once you're strapped in mommy will give you something fun to hold. Then have a special car toy for those times." Any teeny good move he does, praise him, make a huge deal. "Moishy you looked at mommy when I spoke to you, wow, that means you're listening" or as he is climbing into the car or walking towards to car, call out "moishy come to the car and then immediately wow you are a great listener, you must be getting big."

If that doesn't work you can also try just telling him to go to the car seat and then wait. With no emotion or reaction so he is not getting anything out of it. You can say "moishy, you are a big boy and like to go places. If we want to go places we have to sit in the car seat. Mommy will wait for you to come all by yourself because you are so big." And just wait for many many minutes. Don't do this when with the whole family, in a rush or anything. Maybe do it on the way to a fun trip to the ice cream / pizza store with him.

Two year olds are hard, but they are still people. Try and see things through his eyes. It's not so easy being two. Validate that for him.
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mushkamothers




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 10 2021, 12:14 am
It's hard to be pregnant and chasing a toddler. I've btdt with no support and using the car multiple times a day so I get it. But this is all totally normal for toddlers. They're not trying to ruin your life. They are in a normal developmental stage where they push boundaries, assert their own independence and test the limits of their control.

Pushing and fighting isn't the answer. And a 2 year old 100% understands even if he can't speak back.

Give him power here. Choices, autonomy. Validate his feelings. Let him buckled the seat belt as suggested. You can buy a buckle toy from Amazon to help him learn and practice this skill. If you get into a power struggle then you automatically lose. Remain a calm, confident leader. Does he even know where he's going in the car? Talk to him about it. Elicit cooperation.
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amother
Bergamot


 

Post Fri, Dec 10 2021, 12:20 am
When all else fails
I use screen time to get him buckled in.
I know it’s not good but what else am I suppose to do
It’s the only time I let him watch something on my phone.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Dec 10 2021, 11:50 am
amother [ Bergamot ] wrote:
When all else fails
I use screen time to get him buckled in.
I know it’s not good but what else am I suppose to do
It’s the only time I let him watch something on my phone.


Best answer here lol. This actually worked! Let him hold the tablet to the car and guess what? He sat right down and let me buckle him. Yay!!! Here’s to fried brains 🍷
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taketwo




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 10 2021, 11:53 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Best answer here lol. This actually worked! Let him hold the tablet to the car and guess what? He sat right down and let me buckle him. Yay!!! Here’s to fried brains 🍷


So glad you were able to find a way to work with him. Congrats!
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amother
Bergamot


 

Post Fri, Dec 10 2021, 11:55 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Best answer here lol. This actually worked! Let him hold the tablet to the car and guess what? He sat right down and let me buckle him. Yay!!! Here’s to fried brains 🍷


10-12 minutes a day will give you sanity to be the best mom 24/7
Just don’t use it the rest of the day
Make sure it disappears
Out of site out of mind
And if it’s educational that’s even better
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