Normal or not? Waking up many times in a row from sca dreams

amother

Thu, Dec 16 2021, 12:25 am

My dd6 wakes up like 6 times a year from scary dreams. It goes on for a week or 2 like every second night. Probably something triggered it.. She wakes me up scared a bit kvetchy she tells me her dream and I usually tell her a cute or funny story kiss her and put her back to sleep. The next day she is usually very iritable from waking up mid night. She happens to have a huge imagination. Her dreams started in kindergarten. In the she saw a police arrest someone and in kindergarten her dreams were family members having to do with that. Like a whole year that was all her scary dreams. Now she dreams about all other different scionarios. I know it often for kids to have scary dreams but is this too often? Too extreme?

Zehava

Thu, Dec 16 2021, 12:56 am

It stopped for us after finding a mistake in one of the mezuzos. For real. That same night. And I know other stories like this. It wasn’t the reason I checked but I know people who did check for this reason.

amother

Lotus

Thu, Dec 16 2021, 1:53 am

I don't know if I believe in this stuff from a logical place, but my emotional brain always wonders about past lives.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Dec 16 2021, 2:07 am

My DD started doing this as a toddler, and is scared her to death! Poor thing had no idea what was going on. Her sleep pattern was so predictable, you always knew it would happen at 2:10am. Maybe 2:09, maybe 2:11, but almost always at 2:10, regardless of what time she went to bed.

I told her that when she goes to sleep, her brain gets bored. Sometimes her brain is telling itself stories, and sometimes those stories are not nice. I told her that she could be the boss of her brain, by saying "Stop it, brain! That story is not nice, and I don't like it. Tell a nice story." She could even suggest to her brain what she would rather be dreaming about. I also told her that if she rolled over to the other side, sometimes that can reset her brain and make it change. (I really works!)

It was really cute to hear her on the baby monitor saying "Stop it bwain! Want nice stowy." Once she realized that a dream was different from what happened in "the real world", and that she could change the narrative, she felt a lot more empowered, and didn't need me to come in and soothe her nearly as much. If she had a really scary dream I would come in and talk to her about what nice things she would like to dream about, until she said she wanted to go back to sleep. That usually only took about 10 to 15 minutes, total.

I do think it's important to listen to your child's dreams, even if they don't make sense to you, even if you'd much rather go back to bed. Having something scary dismissed can make a child feel abandoned, and make them even more likely to want to come into your room. Children, even toddlers, need to feel heard and validated. If you can figure out what sort of things they find upsetting in their dreams, it can give you a lot of insight into how your child's thoughts work.

disneyland

Thu, Dec 16 2021, 2:40 am

You can try to interpret the dream positively. For example: she had a dream about police. You can say, lets think of something good the dream means. Like police protect you and Hashem is protecting you."
If you tell jer to think of something good the dream means it may be less scary for both of you.

Oldest

Thu, Dec 16 2021, 10:04 am

Growing up, if we ever had a scary dream, we were welcome to sleep in my parents room (where we felt safe)
Once we got a little older my parents told us that if we have a bad dream it means we're sleeping on the wrong side of the pillow and we need to flip it over onto the good dream side. It really works, it sort of resets your brain.. One of my (adult) siblings still does this...
Also, make sure to first validate their bad dream and how it makes them feel. It could be coming from unexpressed anxieties.

amother

Calendula

Thu, Dec 16 2021, 10:09 am

Is she eating right before bed? Eating close to bedtime, specifically carbs, often causes bad dreams.

mom2mysouls

Thu, Dec 16 2021, 10:30 am

From my own experience, it happened more often when my child went to bed late.

Also, waking them about 2 hrs after, to take child to bathroom, interrupted that cycle (as per my pediatrician)