Invitation wording

amother

Fri, Jan 07 2022, 1:20 pm

I'm getting married for the second time. My kids want to invite their friends to the wedding, with the assumption that only a couple of their best friends will come but they want to either give out the invitation to their friends or post it in the classroom as a social gesture.

The invitation that we (fiance and I) sent to our friends just has our first names on it, it looked nice, sounded right, and anyone we're sending it to knows who they got it from.

My kids were originally going to just grab a copy to pass around at school, but I think it's kind of weird because their friends are not on a first-name basis with me. If they take it home to their parents it's not even going to be obvious whose invitation it is, it's like asking for a whole verbal explanation to come along.

So I was thinking I can easily make a different version for the kids (the invitation was homemade anyway) but still don't know how to word it. My socially-conscientious preteen validly pointed out that nobody writes an invitation to the wedding of Mr. This and Mrs. That, or to the wedding of Sari's mother to Esti's father. Then again, nobody is usually in this position in the first place.

I may be totally overthinking this but WWYD? I was just going to personally text message the parents saying "hey you're welcome to bring your kids to my wedding at place on date" but looks like my kids want to do the inviting themselves. On paper.

amother

RosePink

Fri, Jan 07 2022, 1:54 pm

If it’s your kids doing the inviting (very generous of you to agree to this!) then there’s no reason for them not to say “my mother to Efraim’s father.” How about
“Please join us in celebrating the wedding of our mother Yourfirstnane Yourlastname to Efraim’s father Hisfirstnane Hislastname”

That way, if the parents want to give you a gift or a card, they know to whom to address it.

Not a bad idea to email the parents so they know it’s a bona file invitation with your consent and not just something the kids came up with without your knowledge.

But I’m confused. I always thought the minhag is for children not to attend a parent’s remarriage?

amother

Fri, Jan 07 2022, 2:32 pm

The minhag applies only to the chuppah itself, and even that is only a custom. My kids will probably opt out but our rav said that if they want to attend then that's fine. It's important to us that the kids feel as comfortable as possible with the entire transition, and if inviting their friends helps them feel like celebrants then that is what we'll do.

As for generosity in agreeing to this, the wedding is a bit of a distance from our hometown so I don't actually have to worry about 50 extra kids showing up. It's more of the thought that counts and hopefully a couple of best friends whose mothers are also friends of mine will come through.

I did think about making a whole separate one for them saying "our mother" but they thought that would be weird. It might be the least weird of the options though.

singleagain

Fri, Jan 07 2022, 2:33 pm

amother [ RosePink ] wrote:

But I’m confused. I always thought the minhag is for children not to attend a parent’s remarriage?

Different rabbis pasken different ways. It also depends if divorced or deceased. I know someone who's 3 children each got a different psak

mommyhood

Fri, Jan 07 2022, 2:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why can’t you just add your last names? That’s how I see second wedding invitations, Chaim Levy and Sara Schwartz invite you to their wedding….