Dedicated to RCCS and Chai Lifeline

amother

Mon, Jan 10 2022, 8:24 pm

Angels

The sun looks the same in the sky above me.
The trees are unchanged
The same green
The same leaves,
The same gentle sway.
The geese soar overhead
Heading south for the winter
I’ve seen it hundreds of times before
Nothing’s changed-
But everything’s changed.
My daughter has cancer.
Bleomycin
Alpha-Feta Protein
Neutrophil
Chemo
Tumor markers
Blood counts
What are these words that have suddenly become the forefront of my vocabulary?
What is this nightmare that’s become my reality?
Is this really happening?
It is happening.
Every step forward-
Shaky and uncertain
Terrifying and painful
But there is no way around it.
We can only walk through
Step by step
Minute by agonizing minute
Tired
Hurt
Angry
Sad
Hopeful
Mourning
So many questions
So little answers
Why does the sun not refuse to rise in the morning in outrage at the injustice of it all?
Why do the trees’ branches not freeze in shock at the helpless pain of a sick child?
Why do the geese not stay, pulled back by the guilt of a carefree life in the face of so much fear?
My daughter has cancer.
And for now we are trapped
In the maze of the unknown.
We have become outsiders in this world
As it continues on
oblivious to our chaos.
Yet, when the suns rays touch the ground,
I see angels
They look like people
Sound like people
But they are beyond human comprehension.
Selfless
Devoted
Patient
Kind
They ask for nothing in return
They want nothing more than to help
Their voices are strong
Assuring us they have our backs
We are not alone in the maze
They will see us through this until the very end.
Time
Money
Resources
Just a smile
Somehow they are always there
Never tired,
Never failing
Superhuman
And I wonder how I’ve never noticed them before in this world I’ve seen a million times.
How did I miss this?
How did I not know I was living amongst angels?

the world's best mom

Mon, Jan 10 2022, 10:08 pm

Hugs from another family member of recipients of Chai Lifeline and RCCS chessed. (Chai Lifeline has helped 4 patients from my family. RCCS helped one.) They are amazing people. Your poem is excellent. It is disturbing when your world shatters and the outside world continues on as if nothing happened.

Refuah shelaima to your daughter!