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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
amother
OP
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 11:12 pm
mazel tov! DS just got engaged. Future DIL is not into jewelry or extravagant things. Very practical and down to earth perfect for DS. I want to buy her something- just not sure what. She doesn't like bracelets too dangly. DS will be buying her a necklace. What is left. I feel like it would be bad if I did not get her anything.... Is pearl necklace to old fashioned?
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amother
Valerian
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 11:17 pm
It's wonderful that you're interested in giving a gift she would like, rather than just buying whatever everyone else does.
Now, what would she like? Seforim? Golf clubs?
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Cookin4days
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Wed, Jan 19 2022, 11:20 pm
Mazal tov! Classic everyday earrings ?
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amother
Currant
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 3:39 am
Maybe instead of a gift offer to take her shopping/take her out to lunch. Find out her love language - maybe its not gifts :-)
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amother
Jean
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 5:07 am
amother [ Valerian ] wrote: | It's wonderful that you're interested in giving a gift she would like, rather than just buying whatever everyone else does.
Now, what would she like? Seforim? Golf clubs? |
A gift certificate to the Lego store, bookstore, craft store? A top-quality guitar? Find out what she would really appreciate, even if it's unconventional
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LovesHashem
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 5:32 am
Why don't you take her to a jewelry store and tell the owner (privately or beforehand) to show you things in your budget range, and have her pick out something she'd like.
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amother
Lightgreen
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 5:41 am
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amother
Valerian
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 5:42 am
LovesHashem wrote: | Why don't you take her to a jewelry store and tell the owner (privately or beforehand) to show you things in your budget range, and have her pick out something she'd like. |
You're assuming she wants jewelry. Many brides do, but some don't. And if she doesn't, she's going to have to wear something she doesn't like forever just because she feels guilty.
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LovesHashem
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 5:48 am
amother [ Valerian ] wrote: | You're assuming she wants jewelry. Many brides do, but some don't. And if she doesn't, she's going to have to wear something she doesn't like forever just because she feels guilty. |
I'd suggest she find out if the girl likes jewelry, or what hobbies she has. Not everyone likes the other options mentioned here too.
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shabbatiscoming
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 6:45 am
The Op wrote that the daughter in law does NOT like jewelry.
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LovesHashem
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 6:56 am
shabbatiscoming wrote: | The Op wrote that the daughter in law does NOT like jewelry. |
Missed that - I just saw she didn't like dangly bracelets.
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amother
Denim
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 7:33 am
Maybe let her know that you would like to get her a welcome-to-the-family gift, but will wait until you get to know each other better.
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amother
Feverfew
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 7:41 am
Even people not into jewelry wear some jewelry, sometimes, like to a simcha or even daily. They might not need or want many peices or box full of choices, but most people wear one or two items. Why not buy her a classic timeless minimalistic style peice? Diamond, pearl or ruby earring studs to her taste or a simple bracelet, bangle, tennis etc that she chooses.
Or candlesticks, siddur, machzorim, watch, shaitel....
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amother
Antiquewhite
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 7:47 am
I dislike jewelry too, but I wear my watch every day.
I like the candlesticks idea too, after all, she'll probably use it every week so it's practical and useful.
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amother
Brown
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 8:19 am
Although nothing is ‘obligated’ there are gifts that are normative for the boys side to give a kalla. Being that I’d like to avoid the shower of tomatoes , I’m suggesting that you ask your closest like-minded friends what they have done for their kallas. Even though she says she doesn’t like jewelry there are other things she just might assume she’s getting. There’s no need to cut out all the gifts because she’s down to earth and sounds a little simpler than most girls today. She still needs to wear a sheitel , light Shabbos candles etc.
Also it’s important to consider that if Ds is not your first getting married it might engender jealousy if she doesn’t get what the other girls got.
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singleagain
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 8:21 am
amother [ Brown ] wrote: | Although nothing is ‘obligated’ there are gifts that are normative for the boys side to give a kalla. Being that I’d like to avoid the shower of tomatoes , I’m suggesting that you ask your closest like-minded friends what they have done for their kallas. Even though she says she doesn’t like jewelry there are other things she just might assume she’s getting. There’s no need to cut out all the gifts because she’s down to earth and sounds a little simpler than most girls today. She still needs to wear a sheitel , light Shabbos candles etc.
Also it’s important to consider that if Ds is not your first getting married it might engender jealousy if she doesn’t get what the other girls. |
Or you know... Just ask future Dil what she would like.
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amother
Brown
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Thu, Jan 20 2022, 8:27 am
singleagain wrote: | Or you know... Just ask future Dil what she would like. |
Great idea but give her choices or a price range so she knows you mean it . A young girl would probably be very uncomfortable with an open ended what can I buy you?
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