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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
How to get health aide to be more functional



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 2:41 pm
My autistic ds has a home health aide who doesn't do much. At times, he is so busy watching who knows what on his phone that he doesn't notice when ds leaves the room. Other times, he is helpful. Right now, ds and I are in the kitchen. Ds is eating his 3rd bowl of Cheerios while the aide is sitting in the living room. I'm not assertive by nature, and I don't mind hanging with ds, but how can the aide justify billing 10 hours when his usefulness can easily fit into a 2 hour time slot?
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amother
Amber


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 2:45 pm
Some are more dedicated than others, maybe best to find another aide. I don't have experience with special needs, but with aides for other reasons, I would keep trying new ones until I find one who is competent.
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amother
Aconite


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 2:50 pm
The aid can bill because they are paid for their time in your home. Give them tasks. Sometimes when you are there, it is harder to know what to do, as they will defer to the parent, which they are not.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 2:53 pm
He's sleeping. Ds threw a can of Lysol at him and he didn't wake up.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 2:53 pm
He woke up from the deodorant can that came next.
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amother
Lightgreen


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 2:54 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
He woke up from the deodorant can that came next.


I’m laughing. Time to try a new aide I think
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 2:55 pm
The aide saga.

Get a new one and hope they’re better.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 2:57 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
He woke up from the deodorant can that came next.
Looks like your son has it figured out then. But seriously I’ve heard that finding good aides can be really difficult.
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amother
Cornsilk


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 3:14 pm
I would get a new one
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 4:55 pm
The aide just walked into the living room to ask where ds is. My response was, "aren't you supposed to be with him?" It's a good thing we have locks on the door.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 5:00 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My autistic ds has a home health aide who doesn't do much. At times, he is so busy watching who knows what on his phone that he doesn't notice when ds leaves the room. Other times, he is helpful. Right now, ds and I are in the kitchen. Ds is eating his 3rd bowl of Cheerios while the aide is sitting in the living room. I'm not assertive by nature, and I don't mind hanging with ds, but how can the aide justify billing 10 hours when his usefulness can easily fit into a 2 hour time slot?


It’s up to you to be assertive and let the aide know what you expect of him. If you allow him to goof off and do what he wants, what incentive does he have to work for your ds? Using his phone during working hours should be the first no-no.
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amother
Winterberry


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 5:02 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The aide just walked into the living room to ask where ds is. My response was, "aren't you supposed to be with him?" It's a good thing we have locks on the door.


Seriously? Time to replace him. This is your son we’re talking about! You must get someone who’s actually caring for him properly!
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 5:35 pm
Is he through an agency? If so I would call them directly and explain your concerns. The onus is on them to either try to get him to do better, or to send you an new aid.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 6:16 pm
He's through an agency. His first day, he was horrible, and I was going to call the agency to confirm that he's not supposed to be my audience. He only comes Shabbos and Sunday, and he was better the next few times. Yesterday, he was good, but today he was useless. It could just be that he was tired today. Maybe I'll ask what their cell phone policy is. As he works 10 hour shifts, it's understandable that he talks on the phone. I just think he should watch ds instead of videos.
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 6:31 pm
I used to work for a home health agency (not as a home health aid, but on some level of supervising). Please call the agency and explain what is going on, and explain your concerns to them. They should talk to him directly and explain the expectations to him clearly. Taking a phone call or two is reasonable, watching videos when your son isn't sleeping or otherwise occupied is not okay, especially if it's not sleeping hours.
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greenteaorange




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 6:32 pm
He should not be in the phone
May need more direction from you he might not want to interfere or think that you have things under control.
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 6:40 pm
You might be able to get someone better, but they honestly all (or most) look at their phones a lot and don’t take initiative , unless you give specific assignments. I’m sorry but you’ll have to get a little more confrontational/assertive. I.e. I’d appreciate it if you’d limit your phone time. Please do x,y,z.
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greenteaorange




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 23 2022, 6:45 pm
It sounds like he doesn’t have experience with this age group or type of case.
If more direction does not work ask the agency for an experienced aide in this age group/ condition.
He may be used to taking care of elderly people just sitting on his phone all day
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