How do I tell my boss?

amother

Almond

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:07 pm

amother [ Cappuccino ] wrote:

I had this a little while ago. I was due after Pesach, so started maternity leave a week before Chag, to have time to prepare. I gave a month notice regarding the date I was planning on leaving, to give time to train someone new. I told my boss I was planning on taking 6 weeks postpartum. He reached out after birth to check in, I said I was still planning on 6 weeks.
After about a month, I knew I didn't want to go back, and told him that I appreciated my time at the company, but wasn't interested in returning.

this sounds so wrong

torquoise

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:16 pm

Op I think you're smart for wanting to keep a good relationship with a job and boss that you like.
I would be honest with him, and tell him I'm hoping to come back, but it's hard for me to decide now.

Is it the kind of job you can do remotely?
Part time?
Take a year off, and return when your baby's not so small anymore?

Also, do you want to explain your reasons why you might not want to go back after this baby? It seems you enjoy the job very much.

Hatzlacha in your decision, whatever you end up doing.

amother

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:18 pm

amother [ Almond ] wrote:

this sounds so wrong

how so? she seemed to feel that she would go back after giving birth.

the opposite can happen as well. someone can decide to give up their job and then a few weeks after birth realize that they want to return to work.

amother

Alyssum

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:21 pm

I think going back to work after 6 weeks is really really difficult. I think you should tell him you need the full 12 weeks this time. I find that at about 3 months of age, my newborns settle a little and my nights are more manageable and I'm able to return to work.

amother

Darkblue

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:22 pm

amother [ Aubergine ] wrote:

Can you come back to work part time?

Why do you need to say anything now?
You can tell him after 4 weeks you need more time or can only come back part time
You only need to give 2 weeks notice

amother

Cappuccino

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:23 pm

amother [ Almond ] wrote:

this sounds so wrong

Why? When asked if I was planning on returning, I told my boss that I would have to see how I felt, so I would be taking a normal 6 week maternity leave (which wasn't paid, for the record). I trained someone new to cover me, and waited to see how I felt.
Imo, it would have been wrong to go back in for a few days to keep up the act, when I knew I didn't want to be there anymore.

singleagain

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:40 pm

Last year.... Actually no . It was 2020 my coworker had a baby. I knew that last time she had a baby she took 7 weeks. I was expecting about the same. At around 7 weeks, she decided not to come back. I wish she had told me prior that it was a possibility.

I know I have no "right" to know, but it would have been helpful for me to try to plan and structure, myself. Plus I could have had my boss start looking for a replacement at the start of her maternity instead of the end.

I also had two other ppl leaving in the same time frame which added more to my work as well. I ended up being really stressed out ... Pulling 60 hours work weeks for months, into I got a new coworkers about 7 months later.

And I should have realized, bc when I saw her computer, I noticed the background was generic, not her kids as it had been before.... So my gut tells me she planned on not coming back, but I didn't find out till 7 weeks ... That's just not cool.

ETA I don't blame her for making her choices. I just wish I had been informed.

amother

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:45 pm

singleagain wrote:

this is exactly my thought. but what do I expect my boss to do? wait 2 months until im supposed to come back to start looking for someone new? but I dont want him to start looking for someone new unless im not coming back. its kind of a catch 22.

singleagain

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 9:52 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What kind of work do you do? Do you have coworkers who are covering for you? Or like.. What's gonna happen during maternity... With your job tasks

Based on my experience, I would say discuss all probable outcomes with the important ppl you work with daily.

amother

Garnet

Thu, Jan 27 2022, 11:06 pm

torquoise wrote:

Great advice right here.
I think it also depends on your boss. He sounds like a good understanding guy and won’t jump to hire someone to replace you. Maintaining that trust goes a long way.