Naming after someone with a difficult life

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amother

Wandflower

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 6:24 am

I think there's a difference between someone who had a hard life due to outside circs and someone whose personality was difficult or who had some form of mental illness.
I would name after the first but add a name for the second. And I would call by both names or the other name.

amother

Burntblack

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 7:28 am

What about a person who had mental illness as a result of her experiences in the Holocaust?

amother

Hawthorn

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 9:36 am

agreer wrote:

I once heard that after a parent, you don't need to add a name, even if they died young.

Both my brother and myself were told to add a name when naming after my mother who died at the age of 50.

We all added the name Chaya

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 9:43 am

agreer wrote:

I once heard that after a parent, you don't need to add a name, even if they died young.

My sister named my niece after her MIL who was niftar young from illness (she was also a holocaust survivor, not sure if that contributed.) They asked R' Dovid Feinstein z'l and he said for a parent you give the name as is.

Chayalle

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 9:54 am

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

I was named after an aunt who was murdered in a concentration camp because she didn't pass selection because she was pregnant, at the age of 22. No added name. Just her name.

I'm 48, have many children, one grandchild BH KAH and live a happy life and have a happy marriage and live in absolute peace.

If you want to give the name, give it. You're honoring the person and helping elevate their neshoma and giving your kid their positive attributes. Your kid will not face their nisyonos.

If you don't want to give the name, don't

I heard that those who died in the Holocaust are in a whole different category.

I'm named after my great-grandmother H"YD. My father once asked the Satmar Rebbe R' Yoel about this, and he said they died Al Kiddush Hashem, and to go ahead and give the name. (My great-grandmother A"H lived in Satmar before the war - though they were not Satmar chassidim - and that was her point of deportation.)

amother

Gold

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 9:58 am

agreer wrote:

I once heard that after a parent, you don't need to add a name, even if they died young.

This must be what my family was told as well. My uncle was named after my grandfather's father and doesn't have a name added. However all the grandsons named after him have a second name.

amother

Sienna

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 10:00 am

My grandfather had bipolar. Plus dementia when he was older, and he lived with my parents. I didn't feel comfortable naming after him. I had known really bad parts of him that my cousins never had.
We gave only one of his two names, which was also the name of a different relative. So he's named after both but only half, and I'm davening.

amother

Banana

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 11:21 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Difficulty with physical, mental, emotional health, hard upbringing, kids with struggles, etc.
Would you name? I feel so uncomfortable with it

I asked a Rov about this and he said add another name and don’t call her by the troubled person’s names, but here’s the thing. Once you add a name, it’s considered as if you did not name after the original person.

Refine

Mon, Feb 14 2022, 12:51 pm

To the best of my knowledge;
Naming after a person with bad middos-no. If you must, have someone else with the same name in mind when naming.
Died very young with no children, missa meshuna (horrifying tragic death)- add a name
Hard life/ al kiddush Hashem- unfortunately applies to so many great people we name after and admire. Especially if they gracefully rose to the challenge.

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