Toddler trauma and phobia

amother

Narcissus

Sun, Mar 20 2022, 12:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My therapist is a qualified trauma therapist. Anyway with my permission she reached out to one with experience with small children who is familiar with our situation and that therapist said I should not worry about anything before a few months and just take it easy, send her to playgroup and let the teachers know she may be anxious and maybe give them some extra money, hug and hold her when I can, etc. So I guess we will just do that and see how it goes iyh. Thank you for the kind responses.

As a trauma therapist who works with kids, (though don't have experience with 2yr olds, youngest I take is 4) I agree that it may not be alarming just yet And doesn't necessarily require professional intervention at this point. However, without knowing details of your situation, I can't see why it would be a problem to try to help your child be more comfortable in her body. I still stand by my previous suggestions of helping her retell the story and craniosacral therapy.

mushkamothers

Sun, Mar 20 2022, 1:02 pm

If it were my kid I'd do what narcissus says. Retell the story and do play therapy. Massage, chiropractic or craniosacral to get the tension out of the body. Ignoring what happened and distracting isn't the thing to do here...I'd be skeptical if a licensed trauma professional suggested that.

While you hold your toddler you can do deep breaths and teach her to feel sensation in her body parts (wiggle your fingers, toes etc) and massage her body to calm her down and bring her into the moment. And as much as possible don't ignore and let her cry.

As an aside, temper tantrums never need "chinuch" and always need a calm adult coregulating big emotions together.

amother

Bluebonnet

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 12:44 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I don't understand one word of this post. Where did I say my child is afraid from a person? Children can be petrified from a chair falling near them, a 4 year old sibling surprising them, a bird flying near them on a porch, and other things that don't mean all chairs or people need to be removed from a house or birds from the earth. Also my child clearly feels safe with me since she wants me to hold her when she is afraid and she stops to cry when I do. I just cannot always hold her because no one can do that and I did not think it was necessary to share every detail of my life such as this child isn't my baby and has many siblings and holding my children isn't the easiest for me especially now that I'm in early pregnancy and very nauseous but also singing and baking and making a lot of fun for all of my children as well as how many hours a week I have cleaning help and what I am wearing on my head and how many siblings I have and if we put eggs in helzel purim in order to get an answer for a question without being accused in such a manner.

Someone’s trying to help. No need to be nasty or snarky. She took her own time to respond and advise.
In general you seem to be stuck in what you want to do, so not sure why you came here to ask at all.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 12:51 pm

amother [ IndianRed ] wrote:

Either we say it's ok. Or you will refute it. I'm not blaming you because I know how little you can physically pull off now. But let's not pretend it's ideal to do nothing.

If the trauma is like the examples OP gave up thread then doing nothing really may be ideal. Like I said earlier all professionals I spoke to in my case said to do nothing. I would have felt so guilty if everyone on Imamother was telling me otherwise.

amother

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 12:56 pm

amother [ Bluebonnet ] wrote:

I'm so sorry I really did not mean to be nasty at all.

amother

Narcissus

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 1:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks for this comment. I just can't see how things like massages and cranio could or would be helpful. I respect allowing other people to go that route and really believe it helps some people, but it isn't something I would do with my child as a first or second option because I don't understand how it works, wouldn't like it myself and know there is a long wait and it's not necessarily practicle for me to travel all around and find babysitting etc.

Just a quick explanation, when someone experiences a trauma and the brain perceives danger, the cranial nerves are activated which triggers the fight flight or freeze response in the body. Often, the cranial nerves need to be "told" that the danger has passed and it's safe to leave that mode. Craniosacral therapy works with the cranial nerves to calm the nervous system.

I know someone else mentioned massage, I don't know enough about it, I'm not sure how a regular massage would do that. Maybe someone else can chime in?

amother

Indigo

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 1:12 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm so sorry I really did not mean to be nasty at all. I was genuinely hurt by her post and was saying I didn't realize I have to put all information in a question to not be accused in such a way. I really regret opening this thread because it's just too painful for me to read so I apologize if I am being rude or stuck or anything else.

I'm sorry it's painful for you. You're doing your best.
Everyone looks at their surroundings through their own lense of whatever they've experienced.
It'll be okay. Your daughter will be fine.

amother

Mon, Mar 21 2022, 1:21 pm

amother [ Magenta ] wrote:

I think it's ok to admit that doing nothing may not be ideal. That itself is actually helpful.