Regression or ? WWYD?

amother

Wed, Apr 06 2022, 11:54 pm

I am struggling with an issue and wonder what you fellow mothers would do. I have a sensitive sweet 3 1/2 year old son who has been toilet trained for over a year. He is more of a timid and shy child and last summer we had a bit of an issue where we struggled with selective mutism in day camp. Bh his Morah this year is a warm woman and he is comfortable with her although he is on the quieter side, he definitely talks in school and is completely at ease.
With this background here comes the problem. The Morah feels that a fully toilet trained child can totally handle the bathroom experience unattended. I completely and totally disagree. My son has been making it to the bathroom and then closing the door and getting distracted and not using the actual toilet. He literally has an accident daily. This has been going on for awhile already. I keep telling the Morah that he has to be TAKEN to the bathroom at intervals and actually assisted. And she says that she can’t do that. It’s too hectic. And that he is old enough to be independent and go himself. And that tomorrow I should send him in with a diaper or pull-up
And I will see that he will prove that he can.

I am not ok with this. He does go independently at home. But I don’t understand what is happening here. He is 3 years old. He needs help getting on and off the toilet. Getting wiped. Why can’t she understand. And why would I penalize my son and put him in a pull-up or diaper? She feels it is behavioral. I don’t. I really think he just needs help.

Thoughts?

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 12:06 am

Do not put him back in pull ups. I would practice with him at home and teach him to be more independent. I also agree that at this age it's ok to assist them and she's asking for a lot. Does she have an assistant that can help?

amother

Opal

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 1:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

His Morah is wrong. Despite her love and warm, sounds like Morah skipped her early childhood education classes.

amother

Mayflower

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 1:22 am

Definitely a Morah issue, not a toilet training issue.
Is there anyone you can ask this question to, and then quote her to the Morah, so that she'll see it differently?

amother

Mayflower

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 1:24 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

And that he is old enough to be independent and go himself.

He's three years old!! Old enough? That's ridiculous. Please don't put him back into a diaper or pullup. Do whatever you can to make her see reason.

amother

Blushpink

Thu, Apr 07 2022, 1:44 am

Agreed that the Morah has unrealistic expectations.

I have a VERY precocious 3.5 year old DD. Yes, she is sometimes capable of doing tasks on her own, but more frequently she needs someone there to give at least verbal (often hands-on) assistance.