Does your dh keep his usual schedule?

amother

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:05 pm

My dh just told me that he's learning tonight as usual with his evening chavrusa. I'm just a bit surprised because it's chol hamoed, family time etc...

If you're at home, does your dh keep to the same schedule?
DH is going to work tomorrow but I have older teenagers at home and it'll be nice if he's around in the evening on pesach...

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:09 pm

He shouldn’t be “telling you”, you should discuss his Yom tov schedule together and try to make it be the most sensible for all involved.
Maybe he can learn a little later and first spend time with the teens etc. the key is communication and flexibility.
As far as your question, my DH makes himself fully available for family time on Yom tov and chol hamoed (besides davening) and changes his learning hours to when the kids are self occupied/sleeping.

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:11 pm

My husband keeps his regular learning schedule. I don't see why it should be a discussion.
Learning each day is presumably just as important to her as it is to him.

tweety1

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:13 pm

No bh not. His usual schedule is work from 5am till 8pm earlier or later depending on the day. Chol homoed he bh doesn't work. Love chol homoed for this reason mainly. He's home whenever I want him.

amother

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:13 pm

amother [ Zinnia ] wrote:

He also told me that he's playing football tonight like his usual Monday night schedule lol. I said it would've been nice if you'd discussed it with me first. He said so can I go?! I'm not going to say no after he's been out on the list of men playing...

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:14 pm

amother [ Eggshell ] wrote:

My husband keeps his regular learning schedule. I don't see why it should be a discussion.
Learning each day is presumably just as important to her as it is to him.

Right but since chol hamoed is family time in most families it’s only menchlich for DH to adjust his schedule accordingly. If the wife WANTS him to continue as usual kol hakavod!

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:15 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I guess he’s used to just telling you things and end of story.

amother

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:16 pm

Granted, he did take the kids out today for me whilst I stayed home with the baby, straightening up the house, relaxing and making supper...

But I hate how he just expects everything to run like normal, it's not normal it's yom tov!
Oh well.
I bet his chavrusa will cancel anyway, I'd be very surprised if he didn't. His wife probably feels the same way as me, he is usually the one that cancels. My dh never does unless I beg him to.

amother

Mon, Apr 18 2022, 1:18 pm

amother [ Zinnia ] wrote:

I guess he’s used to just telling you things and end of story.

Yes but he felt really bad about it all. I acted shocked bc I am, that there is even a game tonight. It should've been cancelled for yom tov in my opinion. Who asks me lol. And I get more washing from him when he plays...