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Forum
-> Parenting our children
mandksima
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Wed, May 07 2008, 9:50 am
I cherish and keep safe a letter from the "tooth fairy" in my father's handwriting as well as a sketch of the famous boat, the "tooth ferry." It is an IOU for $1, which I'll never cash in. It is part of my childhood and when I got it I already knew the toothfairy wasn't real and I just felt good that my parents cared enough to make the effort.
My DD is very into being fair and not lying so she might have a hard time with discovering the truth and she'll probably be mad at me. But what is childhood without discovering truths? Since I had a good childhood, I want her to experience the same eventhough I do see the negative in the lying as my parents I'm guessing did not.
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Imaonwheels
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Wed, May 07 2008, 10:05 am
mandksima wrote: |
Imaonwheels, I'd like to get your advice on how you avoid lying to your kids, do you just tell them it is not for them to know when they ask questions you don't want them knowing the answer to? Is this along the same lines as not doing the whole "stealing" of the afikomen so you don't show your kids that it is ok to steal? I wish I were that disiplined... |
I did not lie to my children about babies. I have often told young mothers of the first conversation I had with dd when she was 5.
How does the baby get in your stomach? HaShem put it there.
How does it come out? We go to the hospital and HaShem makes a special opening and the midwife helps me to bring it out. That is why I stay in the hospital for a few days as its hard work and makes you tired.
When I was divorced but house was stuffed with diapers because I was the local Shifra v'Puah she ask me why "everybody" was having new babies but we weren't. She was 8. So I told her that HaShem was really smart and knew that it was best to put babies in families that have both an Abba and Ima. She wholeheartedly agrreed with HaShem's wisdom.
Rav Farkash said that it is assur to lie to children the same as adults. If you say behave and you can have ice cream you have to remind them even if they forgot.
I always answered my childrens' questions. If you are old enough to ask you deserve an age appropriate answer. What I hate is people who have no sense at exposing there kids unnecessarily then letting them loose with other kids. Kids are pressured when given information they are not mature enough to handle.
I also mentioned the kid who sat in my yard and initiated a facts of life discussion when they were 11. My son was obviusly distressed. He came and asked me if its true that when you get married you have to share a room with a girl. So I said well you know Abba and I share our room. So he says, it must be hard to keep tznius all the time. I told him we have lived together for a long time and have worked it out. Today he is 14 1/2 and is a lot more aware.
What do you do, moms of teenagers when you go to mik? I have agreed to meet a friend. As our mik is by appointment only that is true. And the baalanit is a friend who lives down the street.
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marina
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Wed, May 07 2008, 10:24 am
at work, there is a kid who stole someone else's tooth for his tooth fairy. I laughed my head off when I heard that one.
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Squash
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Wed, May 07 2008, 12:29 pm
Imaonwheels wrote: | [
What do you do, moms of teenagers when you go to mik? I have agreed to meet a friend. As our mik is by appointment only that is true. And the baalanit is a friend who lives down the street. |
my oldest is only 7, but I do tell my kids that they don't always get to know where another person is going to. this can be my answer even when I go to the grocery (sometimes I tell them, other times I don't). just to teach them to be respectful of other pple's privacy.
hopefully when they'll get to be teenagers they'll already know taht. that's how it was when I was growing up. my mother never felt the need to make excuses for where she was going. it was "I need to take care of something".
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