They don't want my kid in their camp

amother

Thu, May 05 2022, 10:33 am

So my kid is two and I'm starting to understand what all the allergy moms feel like. I'm trying to get him into a playgroup for the summer but it's hard to find a girl I would trust, and then the girls usually don't want to accept my kid.
Whatever. Just a vent. He really needs to be able to play with other kids, but I totally get why someone wouldn't want him in their group.
I don't even want to think about what will happen when he needs to go on the school bus...

amother

Pink

Thu, May 05 2022, 10:38 am

Schools tend to take the need of allergy kids into account. All schools in my community are nut free & pre school kids are not allowed to bring any snack.
It's easier to send an allergy child to school than to a backyard camp run by teens. I'd never trust them, especially with a toddler. I also wouldn't want my daughter to take responsibility on an allergic child.

amother

Thu, May 05 2022, 10:44 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

I totally hear that.
I probably would also not want my teen to take responsibility, unless it was a small group.
I have no taanos. It's just hard. I don't know how other mothers do it.

I can't get anything done when he is home.
I'm lucky that I found a woman in my community who runs a very small playgroup and is super responsible and willing to take him. I am just thinking ahead about the summer.

amother

Pink

Thu, May 05 2022, 10:47 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Do you work? If you're home with your child, maybe you can find 1 or 2 kids his age that can come to your house every day for afew hours to keep him company. Or do a round robbin. But honestly, I didn't trust anyone with my allergic toddler. Kept her home till she was able to start school proper.

Chayalle

Thu, May 05 2022, 10:49 am

Can you find a daycamp run by a married woman?

When I was a teen, I ran a backyard daycamp, and I had a kid who had severe allergies. I kept an epi-pen (they provided) for emergencies, which B"H never happend - I was vigilant, and the kid himself knew he can't eat anything without checking with me. But as an adult, when I think back on it, I wonder why I took the responsibility to be honest. Because it really is huge for a teen. I remember telling the Mom that really I'm scared to use the epi-pen, and she told me - I trust you that if he would need it you would do it, because otherwise THAT would be too scary. And I do believe she was right, but I'm so glad it never happened.

I think an adult would be in a better position to handle the needs of your child.

polka dots

Thu, May 05 2022, 10:49 am

So sorry. Sounds so tough. I'm sure you need a break and he needs the social outing.

Can't blame young overwhelmed staff for not wanting to take responsibility. Could you think of something more out of the box? Maybe you can hire a teenager to be on top of your son in camp?

amother

Cobalt

Thu, May 05 2022, 11:01 am

It's really hard. I've actually had the best experiences with teens who have siblings or close friends with allergies so it's something they understand rather than mothers who have a lot on their plate. For the teens this is their summer they have no other obligations and they were happy to call or text me pictures of food and ingredients and analyze how they can do food projects and accommodate my child.
B'H our allergies are not super serious but I do have friends who hired a shadow for young kids in those situations if that's an option for you.

amother

Black

Thu, May 05 2022, 11:13 am

It's very very hard. Even more in camp since so many activities revolve around food - crafts, games, rewards, etc. (Why???? but that's another story lol), and it's way less structured than school. My relative whose daughter is very allergic to several things hired a responsible girl who is a friend of the family to shadow her child when she was young. That was the only way she could safely send her out.

Is there a more formal daycamp you can send to? May cost more but they may be more able to help.

My dd worked in a large daycamp last year, doing 9 yr olds. One child is diabetic. Her mother gave my dd a flip phone, insulin, snacks, to keep in a pouch, and all instructions, and made sure to be available all day. She did call the mom a few times to ask about this or that, BH there were no issues. And the camp tried to give a heads up when they would be doing something with food. But it didnt always work. Like one day it rained and they had to switch activities so brought in cotton candy machine and donut maker. It was a big stress and I'm not sure it was fair to put that on my dd, she had the whole rest of the bunk to take care of too. But this child was not a toddler and did know who to take care of herself at least.

amother

Almond

Thu, May 05 2022, 11:20 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

Schools usually are more responsible, but they cannot always take every child's allergies into account.
My son has severe random allergies, I.e. not nuts, dairy, gluten, eggs, etc. One of his allergens are apples. The school took the kids on a field trip and only provided them with apple juice. He was extremely thirsty and there were no alternatives.

amother

Olive

Thu, May 05 2022, 11:30 am

amother [ Almond ] wrote:

Why didn’t you send a water bottle with him?

amother

Hotpink

Thu, May 05 2022, 11:33 am

I totally hear their fears. As a parent of a severely allergic kid, I'd be scared to trust a teen too. At that age I only sent to legal programs with teen counselors, but adult supervision. Yes, it was more expensive, but it was son's safety on the line. He wasn't just allergic to nuts, but also all dairy and eggs.

It does get easier as they get older. My son is now 19. His yeshiva serves dairy almost daily for lunch (and he's no longer allergic to eggs). He brought food and cooks himself (he does have access to a kitchen) whenever he can't eat the food provided.

amother

Almond

Thu, May 05 2022, 12:25 pm

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

Why didn’t you send a water bottle with him?

They asked that parents not send anything, because they provided a snack on the bus and lunch while they were there. Now I know for next time. He's 5 btw