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Toddler Is So Scared Lately



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yiddishmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 9:01 pm
My 2.5 year old started being extremely afraid to be himself in his room or on a diff floor than I am on.

This started a few days ago.

I usually say shema with him, and then walk out. Yesterday when I left the room he was soooo hysterical. Within one minute his face was awash with tears. His whole body was so tense, I could tell he was consumed with extreme fair.

He also started waking up at night. He either ends up in my bed or I end up sleeping in his.

Today I told him I'm going up for a minute. He started crying terribly. He followed me upstairs but couldn't calm down. I told him to go get his pacifier, so he started going downstairs. A few steps down he walked back up. He couldn't bring himself to go down without me.

I know that since purim/ pesach the haman/ Pharoah story were very real to him. He'd randomly say "Haman is here, take him away" and other similar comments. But I though that would fade.

Now when I ask him what he is afraid of, he starts saying that his back is hurting him (obviously not the case).

How do I go about this? How do I eliminate his fears?

I walked with him through the house and showed him that no one is hiding and no one is here to hurt him. But it's not helping.
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 9:11 pm
I don’t have experience with this exact scenario but I do have experience with super anxious toddlers.
I recommend for a couple of days to a week keep him very close to you. Never push him to do something he’s scared to. Never leave him alone. Let him have that security of knowing he’s safe so that his nervous system can calm down and settle.
Once he’s not scared anymore and calmer, it could take a few days or a week or more, slowly take steps to separate a little. Tiny steps. Go slowly, if he’s anxious again go slower.
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yiddishmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 10:22 pm
Thanks for your reply. Any recommendations of a good book to better help me understand my anxious child?
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amother
NeonGreen


 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 10:29 pm
Check if he has strep.
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amother
Poppy


 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 10:31 pm
I second Check for strep
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yiddishmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 10:32 pm
I guess it doesn't hurt to check. Will go tomorrow bln.
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amother
Phlox


 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 11:23 pm
I just came to post check if he has strep, and I see others said it also.
My child presents with a lot of anxiety when he has strep.
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yiddishmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 05 2022, 11:25 pm
He happens to have somewhat of an anxious personality, but the last few days he has EXTREME episodes. Although most of the day he is totally fine.

It makes sense that strep is causing a flare up.

I'll keep you posted bln.
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amother
Firethorn


 

Post Fri, May 06 2022, 12:04 am
I’ll be the fourth to say check for strep.
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Fri, May 06 2022, 8:36 am
I also checked for strep when my toddler was anxious. I was sure he had pandas. I drove myself crazy pursuing a diagnosis.
It wasn’t strep or pandas. It was anxiety.
Therapy helped alot both for him and for me to learn techniques on how to handle it.

Therapy taught me how to teach my child things like even if you’re scared to try something new, you should push yourself to try it anyway because you’ll probably enjoy it.
It was a years long process but It really worked. Dc is still anxious but copes with it really well. It’s important that your child’s teachers be warm loving and kind types. A too strict or harsh teacher can destroy all the progress.
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mushkamothers




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 06 2022, 8:43 am
Another strep vote
In the meantime don't push him just be there
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amother
Firethorn


 

Post Fri, May 06 2022, 9:22 am
amother [ Wallflower ] wrote:
I also checked for strep when my toddler was anxious. I was sure he had pandas. I drove myself crazy pursuing a diagnosis.
It wasn’t strep or pandas. It was anxiety.
Therapy helped alot both for him and for me to learn techniques on how to handle it.

Therapy taught me how to teach my child things like even if you’re scared to try something new, you should push yourself to try it anyway because you’ll probably enjoy it.
It was a years long process but It really worked. Dc is still anxious but copes with it really well. It’s important that your child’s teachers be warm loving and kind types. A too strict or harsh teacher can destroy all the progress.
Its not either pandas, or anxiety. Anxiety always has a cause. Many times it’s strep/pandas. Even if it’s not, there’s some other cause. Therapy can give you great skills, but doesn’t cure the anxiety. Pandas treatment can. How are you so sure it wasn’t pandas? There is no test that can rule it in or out. I’m not trying to doubt your journey, just want OP to be informed.
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amother
Phlox


 

Post Fri, May 06 2022, 9:48 am
amother [ Wallflower ] wrote:
I also checked for strep when my toddler was anxious. I was sure he had pandas. I drove myself crazy pursuing a diagnosis.
It wasn’t strep or pandas. It was anxiety.
Therapy helped alot both for him and for me to learn techniques on how to handle it.

Therapy taught me how to teach my child things like even if you’re scared to try something new, you should push yourself to try it anyway because you’ll probably enjoy it.
It was a years long process but It really worked. Dc is still anxious but copes with it really well. It’s important that your child’s teachers be warm loving and kind types. A too strict or harsh teacher can destroy all the progress.


If a child has a natural tendency to be a little anxious, strep/pandas often makes it flare up much much worse.
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amother
Wallflower


 

Post Fri, May 06 2022, 9:56 am
I have a teenager who I strongly believe had pandas as a child and has now grown out of it.
It wasn’t a thing back then like it is now.
It didn’t present as anxiety. It looked like OCD and illogical thinking.

I think pandas is the diagnosis “in style” right now. But anxiety isn’t always pandas. Alot of times anxiety is just anxiety.

It sounds like your child has a tendency to be anxious and the scary purim pesach stories pushed him over the edge.

You can Google articles about helping a child with anxiety. It really helps.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Fri, May 06 2022, 12:16 pm
I know this sounds off the wall and I'm not even sure if I believe in this stuff, but I happen to have been reading about children talking about past lives lately and some of their stories have these features (although usually the child also says they used to be so and so or something like that). You're not supposed to ask them directly about it because you risk giving them false information that they then believe is a memory, but you can ask to say more about what he's telling you, which you may already be doing. When he says his back hurts, ask him what happened and how did it get hurt. When he says he's scared, ask him who he's afraid of, or what he's afraid will happen.
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yiddishmom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 06 2022, 1:11 pm
Strep came back negative.

I'll need to read more about anxious children and how to help him.

Amother Papaya, I kind of believe in these mysterious ideas but it's too weird for me to believe it about my son just yet.
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