Bais Yaakov High School 50th reunion, pros and cons?

amother

Thu, May 12 2022, 10:44 pm

My 50th reunion of Bais Yaakov High School will take place in a week.

Im neutral about going.

I have a close circle of friends who I have fun with, Im not THAT interested in the others and pretending Im so excited to see them, as they will do when seeing me.

Id like to see what the women look like, but one of the things I hated about school was the talkative ones overpowered the less talkative, while the less talkative just sat and listened.

I am sure the reunion will be more of the same. I had enough years of that, why go back for more?

Plus theyre asking for a suggested donation of $50 - $100. My parents paid tuition, thank you. Im far from broke, but I have more things to spend $50-100 on.

Opinions?

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, May 12 2022, 11:00 pm

Re the $50. Your high school is having a fundraiser by hosting a reunion. This would be maiser (or most of it). I'm not sure what supporting an institution you have shaychus to has to fmdo with paying tuition 50 years ago. There are lots of tzedekas. Giving to the place that educates you makes sense. This really should not be part of the cheshbon.

amother

Thu, May 12 2022, 11:06 pm

amother [ NeonYellow ] wrote:

Ok, so back to the other stuff..

To go or not to go?

amother

Currant

Thu, May 12 2022, 11:18 pm

I wouldn't go. I just skipped my tenth HS reunion. But I have social anxiety and I am very introverted so it really would not have been enjoyable for me.

amother

Rose

Thu, May 12 2022, 11:24 pm

I think reunions are great!
You're more likely to regret missing it. And you'll probably enjoy yourself!
50 years later they're probably not all the same...

shirachadasha

Fri, May 13 2022, 12:56 am

Maybe your adult personality will click with someone else's adult personality even if as teens you were on different wavelengths. Have you not changed at all in 50 years? Wink

Even if you don't hit it off with anyone outside your usual chevra it's a valuable life lesson to see the choices people made and the outcomes. If you remember these women, you can create a mental time lapse video of them. Think abut the outcomes you could have easily predicted and the ones that came as a surprise.

amother

Saddlebrown

Fri, May 13 2022, 12:59 am

If you are in touch with your friends who you care about but don’t really care about seeing the others, do you want to play The Whi Is Most Successful Game.
Who has the most grandchildren
Who married kids/granddaughters off the youngest
Who is still has a great figure
Who’s skin looks great (and discuss who had done work/Botox)
Who has fabulous jewelry
Who’s husband has the most successful business
Who has a career and is successful in her own right.
……

If you want to compete or watch the competition, go. If that is not you, skip it.

amother

Obsidian

Fri, May 13 2022, 1:04 am

I remember when my grandmother went to hers. Overall she had a good time. She said it was nice to see her friends but mostly the ones she kept up with.

She also said she felt uncomfortable shmoozing with the people she hadn't been in touch with in decades. What if they never had kids? What if all their kids aren't frum? Are they still married? Small talk was very hard to make besides for where do you live now and what do you do... She also didn't want to share too much on her end because BH she's only had nachas and wasn't trying to rub it In anyone's face.

agreer

Fri, May 13 2022, 1:08 am

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

That "game" sounds AWFUL.

If everyone is playing it at the reunion, count me out.

heidi

Fri, May 13 2022, 1:11 am

I skipped all my high school reunions. I'm still very close with a few friends, have nothing to do with the rest. And would not be at all interested to play the game so accurately described above

amother

Rose

Fri, May 13 2022, 1:19 am

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

Are you serious?
Like playing this for real?
I know people talk about this, watch and think it on their own, but outright? Terrible "game"!

heidi

Fri, May 13 2022, 1:22 am

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

Are you serious?
Like playing this for real?
I know people talk about this, watch and think it on their own, but outright? Terrible "game"!

It's a metaphor sweetie.
Not everything is meant to be taken literally.

amother

Fri, May 13 2022, 1:31 am

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

At the reunion everyone will be studying everyone else, in preparation for the dissecting.... The discussing will happen post-reunion, among the friends who are in touch.

amother

Dandelion

Fri, May 13 2022, 2:02 am

At my high school reunion, I witnessed the sweetest scene.

One woman said to another, "You know, I was totally intimidated by you in school, because you were just so naturally good at everything. And so even though I've always thought you were a nice person, I never really initiated a friendship because you were too cool for me." The other woman pulled her into a bear hug.

It was worth going to the reunion just to see that.

Raisin

Fri, May 13 2022, 4:51 am

I think it would be fun to go. If you are confident in yourself who cares. I would enjoy going to a HS reunion, although it happens to be I went to a very small school and I am in touch with pretty much every one of my classmates. But I would love to go to a reunion of those who were in school the same time as me, who I am not in touch with. Sometimes the awful snobs have turned into nice people, and the nebuch with the greasy hair is now a wealthy and succesful person.

Also not everyone measures success the same way. The women who has poverty stricken might have huge nachas from her kids. The wealthy women with a beautiful home and many children and grandchildren may actually have a terrible relationship with her kids and her husband. The woman who has no kids may be truly at peace with that fact, and has an incredibly fulfilled life. (Imagine in Sarah Schneirer was your classmate - would you all be saying, nebuch, don't ask Sarah if she is married, you know her marriage didn't work out!)