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Was this reasonable?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:31 am
The week after having a baby, when people were dropping off meals I got a call from the person dropping off dinner asking me to come down (living in apartment building) because it was hard to park. Got newborn bundled up and came down. She laughed and said I can tell you are a new mother because I brought the baby instead of leaving her upstairs (alone??).
I understand it's a favor to cook for new mothers and that parking can be challenging but this seemed unfair to me, to ask someone postpartum to get dressed and come downstairs, and then especially to laugh that she didn't leave her newborn alone.
Basically just venting. Unless I'm wrong about this somehow?
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ShishKabob




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:35 am
It was unfair of her, she should be told by the person arranging the meals that she needs to park the car and deliver it to the door.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:37 am
ShishKabob wrote:
It was unfair of her, she should be told by the person arranging the meals that she needs to park the car and deliver it to the door.


And when you know the parking is tough you get two people to do the delivery so one person can sit in the car and the other run in

Can't tell you how many errands my folks took me on so one person could sit in the car while the other ran in.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:37 am
She was totally out of line, not only asking you to come down, but to laugh at you. When I bring meals to someone and it's an apartment, I always bring someone with me to run the meal to the door. If I know it will be at a time when that is not possible (sometimes the requested drop off time is at a time when I have no one to help me), it means it's a mealtrain that I have to skip.

ETA -
singleagain wrote:
And when you know the parking is tough you get two people to do the delivery so one person can sit in the car and the other run in

Can't tell you how many errands my folks took me on so one person could sit in the car while the other ran in.

Singleagain I see we cross posted the same point!
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:46 am
singleagain wrote:
And when you know the parking is tough you get two people to do the delivery so one person can sit in the car and the other run in

Can't tell you how many errands my folks took me on so one person could sit in the car while the other ran in.


Having got to know your aunt a"h your family is just so menschy.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:50 am
Not reasonable
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:51 am
She was completely out of line. If I have to drop something off somewhere that there is no parking, I take another person I the car with me. I would never ask the person I am cooking dinner for to come down.
Mazal Tov, OP!
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amother
Beige


 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:52 am
She definitely shouldn’t have asked you to come down. (Maybe it could have been arranged if your DH or someone else was home to meet her but definitely not you!) and yeah that wasn’t nice of her to laugh at you. That being said if I had to go down for some reason I personally would have felt comfortable leaving the baby inside.
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justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:56 am
Ehhh I mean... She shouldn't of laughed but I don't think it is so unreasonable for you to come down to grab the meal. Thank gd you are healthy and fully capable of doing it aside from how annoying it is.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 8:56 am
You're right. She's wrong, both in her assumptions, and to laugh at you for doing what's right. Sof pasuk.
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Sesame




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:01 am
justforfun87 wrote:
Ehhh I mean... She shouldn't of laughed but I don't think it is so unreasonable for you to come down to grab the meal. Thank gd you are healthy and fully capable of doing it aside from how annoying it is.


If it’s a week after, depending on the situation it can be painful or difficult to walk. Additionally, a lot of women aren’t dressed or it takes forever to be settled with baby…. I do think she should have avoided asking. Op is receiving meals because she’s recovering, it’s hard.
And I also wouldn’t leave my newborn alone personally, although many would. But it’s very insensitive of her to make fun of you at such a vulnerable time.
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amother
Magnolia


 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:03 am
She should have brought it up to you, most new mothers are not dressed and available to run right down. But regarding the baby, I wouldn’t bring the baby with me just to get something from the downstairs door. I would leave her in the crib for those few minutes. Don’t you ever leave her in the room alone while you’re in the shower?
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amother
DarkCyan


 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:15 am
It wasn't reasonable of her to ask. I remember when we were living in an apartment and I was after a baby, people would either ask what time would be best to bring it and was there someone with me who could come to the door. I feel like that is basic manners.
It could be she didn't realize parking would be so bad, but as a new mom recovering, it isn't ideal that you have to come down and fetch the food.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:16 am
Posting as mod..if anyone wants to debate leaving the baby please do so on this thread https://www.imamother.com/foru.....70141

OP is asking here about expectations. Not the other tropic.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:18 am
Why did she think she was bringing it?
You should have been resting, not running up and down stairs.
She seems to have forgotten her role.
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amother
Currant


 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:18 am
I had someone like this. It was in the dead of winter so it was freezing outside. I live in a private house with a driveway she says she drove past and isn’t turning around. I wanted to say it’s ok keep the food. Instead I stupidly unlatched my baby bundled us up and walked down the block and shlepped the heavy food back myself. If I’m well enough to do all that I can also cook my own supper… people really don’t get it
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:23 am
OK thanks for the feedback.... I know that her laughter wasn't meant unkindly, it was more of a "oh you'll see one day how it really is" kind of laugh.
And of course I appreciate the sentiment of meal delivery but it ended up being more trouble in terms of the getting dressed and baby etc.
It was just kinda bugging me so I figured I'd check out other people's feelings here!
As always, thanks!!
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amother
Birch


 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:28 am
justforfun87 wrote:
Ehhh I mean... She shouldn't of laughed but I don't think it is so unreasonable for you to come down to grab the meal. Thank gd you are healthy and fully capable of doing it aside from how annoying it is.


I have to agree. It's called life.it would be nice if you would be told in advance you will need to come down. Most likely the one delivering didn't think it through ahead of time, not the worst offense. Whomever do you all take along as passengers on such occasions? I wouldn't have anyone just like that.

Same with the " joke" . Not super tactful, not terrible.
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:34 am
amother [ Birch ] wrote:
I have to agree. It's called life.it would be nice if you would be told in advance you will need to come down. Most likely the one delivering didn't think it through ahead of time, not the worst offense. Whomever do you all take along as passengers on such occasions? I wouldn't have anyone just like that.

Same with the " joke" . Not super tactful, not terrible.


If you have an old enough child. That is perfect.

Like I said I would go on errands with my folks so I could run out to make the delivery or whatever.ans even today, I will drive my dad to the post office or whatever so he doesn't have to park and run in and out.


Also I don't know if this is like the meal train website... But you could put there are tell the organizer to let ppl know that parking is right.
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amother
Ballota


 

Post Mon, May 16 2022, 9:37 am
The week after a baby you are supposed to limit your trips un and down stairs.....

Not appropriate even if you had left the baby.

Though it was probably hard to carry your supper and baby.....
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