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Is it acceptable for the caterer to do this?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 3:55 am
She just called back. She will give us 2 sides and a vegetable and stick to her price.

All's well that ends well (and hopefully this will).

Thanks again for giving me the confidence to call her.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 3:58 am
Good for you for speaking up! Hooray
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 6:43 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
She just called back. She will give us 2 sides and a vegetable and stick to her price.

All's well that ends well (and hopefully this will).

Thanks again for giving me the confidence to call her.

Happy it ended well for you.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 6:53 am
Thanks. I feel a bit guilty about the whole thing. OOH, I didn't demand anything more than the standard. OTOH, I feel a little like I pushed her into doing something she didn't want to do. I don't think I did anything wrong, but it's not a good feeling.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 7:14 am
Being in the industry, I totally understand the caterer. I disagree with the extra 5sh charge though, a quote is a quote.
However she most certainly relented to keep sholom between friends. I was kinda surprised that she was required to add another side for free when that wasn’t what she was offering. You admitted you assumed. Things have changed in the past couple of years and she has a right to offer what she does, which is the two sides and not three. Obviously you can decline her quote without a problem but that bothered me. She probably figure you’ll ask for rice which isn’t expensive to make so isn’t putting her out more than a few shekel. I’d think maybe you should tip her if possible.
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amother
Geranium


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 7:20 am
Did you ask her what psides were included in price before hiring her or assumed? That may have been why her price was cheaper to begin with.
pressuring her to add another side for free bec you ‘assumed’ it and never asked doesntvreally seem fair to her
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 7:23 am
I assumed based on what she gave last time we used her and what the other caterers we've taken more recently have all given without exception. I don't think I pressured her though--I just asked nicely. She could have said no.
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aimhabanim




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 7:41 am
Mazel tov on your simcha! Only nachas, Bracha and hatzlacha!
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 7:48 am
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
Being in the industry, I totally understand the caterer. I disagree with the extra 5sh charge though, a quote is a quote.
However she most certainly relented to keep sholom between friends. I was kinda surprised that she was required to add another side for free when that wasn’t what she was offering. You admitted you assumed. Things have changed in the past couple of years and she has a right to offer what she does, which is the two sides and not three. Obviously you can decline her quote without a problem but that bothered me. She probably figure you’ll ask for rice which isn’t expensive to make so isn’t putting her out more than a few shekel. I’d think maybe you should tip her if possible.

OP had 2 other caterers with which to compare menu offerings, and it seems they both offered more sides.

OP was fine to ask for another side; the caterer could have declined.

OP negotiated successfully.

OP -- I know it sometimes doesn't feel good to not be the "nice" one, but being assertive and negotiating is fine as long as you aren't rude or bullying. Don't feel bad.
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amother
Rose


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 7:50 am
Before you strong arm her, find out if any of the other caterers are still available for the night you need. Don't lose her before you know someone else is available.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:09 am
amother [ Pewter ] wrote:
Being in the industry, I totally understand the caterer. I disagree with the extra 5sh charge though, a quote is a quote.
However she most certainly relented to keep sholom between friends. I was kinda surprised that she was required to add another side for free when that wasn’t what she was offering. You admitted you assumed. Things have changed in the past couple of years and she has a right to offer what she does, which is the two sides and not three. Obviously you can decline her quote without a problem but that bothered me. She probably figure you’ll ask for rice which isn’t expensive to make so isn’t putting her out more than a few shekel. I’d think maybe you should tip her if possible.

Note that this caterer is already more expensive by 2-10 NIS as OP said in opening post.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:13 am
Bnei Berak 10 wrote:
Note that this caterer is already more expensive by 2-10 NIS as OP said in opening post.


So she’s more expensive and op would receive an extra side elsewhere. That’s okay, I don’t understand why that makes any difference to my post. The caterer is allowed to be 50sh more expensive if she wants (she probably won’t get business that way though!)
My opinion still stands. And it’s okay if you disagree, I don’t mind. We don’t have to agree.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:15 am
aimhabanim wrote:
Mazel tov on your simcha! Only nachas, Bracha and hatzlacha!


Amen! Thanks!
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:20 am
Bnei Berak 10 wrote:
Note that this caterer is already more expensive by 2-10 NIS as OP said in opening post.


Sorry if I was unclear. The other caterers were 2-10 shekel more.

To be more precise, I priced 4 caterers. One we had used many times in the past and been extremely happy with her, and her price was 60 shekel a serving. Another one we used several times and were also happy with was 62 shekel a serving. (Both of these usually charge 10 shekel less but upped their prices because of shmita.) I called a third one who we never used but has a great reputation (really just for curiosity sake because he's known to be expensive), and he charged 70. All those 3 are in a different city. The 4th one is the one we took, and they also charge 60 shekel. We took her over the first one even though they're the same price because my husband felt obligated to since they're local and he's my husband's friend.

The first 2 offer 3 sides. I don't know about the third because I didn't ask since it was too expensive anyway. The 4th is the one we took and they offered 3 sides last time we took them. Thus my assumption that there would be 3 sides. (I call it 2 sides plus a vegetable but whatever.)
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:24 am
amother [ Rose ] wrote:
Before you strong arm her, find out if any of the other caterers are still available for the night you need. Don't lose her before you know someone else is available.


Just to be clear, I did not strong arm her. I told her calmly that we have a budget and are limited to 60 shekel a serving. She agreed. Then I said that I just wanted to make sure I understood the menu since last time they gave us 2 sides plus a vegetable. I reminded her that the couscous spoiled, but there was another carb so it wasn't the end of the world. So she asked me if I would want that again now and I said yes, so she said she would ask her husband. And then she called me back with a yes, and I thanked her. It was all very civil and friendly.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:24 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Sorry if I was unclear. The other caterers were 2-10 shekel more.

To be more precise, I priced 4 caterers. One we had used many times in the past and been extremely happy with her, and her price was 60 shekel a serving. Another one we used several times and were also happy with was 62 shekel a serving. (Both of these usually charge 10 shekel less but upped their prices because of shmita.) I called a third one who we never used but has a great reputation (really just for curiosity sake because he's known to be expensive), and he charged 70. All those 3 are in a different city. The 4th one is the one we took, and they also charge 60 shekel. We took her over the first one even though they're the same price because my husband felt obligated to since they're local and he's my husband's friend.

The first 2 offer 3 sides. I don't know about the third because I didn't ask since it was too expensive anyway. The 4th is the one we took and they offered 3 sides last time we took them. Thus my assumption that there would be 3 sides. (I call it 2 sides plus a vegetable but whatever.)


Well then it all makes sense now. She’s a few shekel cheaper cos she doesn’t include the extra side. Ouch for her. She’s a nice friend to agree, I don’t give any perks/extras/discounts
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:28 am
OP, I'm having a hard time understanding the entire issue because you've added in more details. It sounds to me like you are still getting the best deal with who you went with because you are getting more options from her included in the price.

For what it's worth, and I am not in Israel, I am making a simcha in the next few weeks and the caterer who is doing the kiddush (he does every shul event) said these are not normal times at all and his price keeps going up each time we talk. He's right, this is how it is in the stores for everyone.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:30 am
She is the same price as one we've used in the past who gives 3 sides and 2 shekel cheaper than another one who also gives 3 sides. The one who charges much more is very fancy (never used him but been to events he catered) and gives a lot more.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:30 am
DrMom wrote:
OP had 2 other caterers with which to compare menu offerings, and it seems they both offered more sides.

OP was fine to ask for another side; the caterer could have declined.

OP negotiated successfully.

OP -- I know it sometimes doesn't feel good to not be the "nice" one, but being assertive and negotiating is fine as long as you aren't rude or bullying. Don't feel bad.

Totally agree with the above.
Being assertive and to negotiate is a necessary skill in israel IMHO. And it wasn't good at it before I moved here. It came with time and age Smile
I brand myself tightfisted/price conscious/doesn't like to pay a lot Smile as I want to have the best deal no matter what I buy. And at the same time I'm very nice and saying please/thank you to the staff etc.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, May 17 2022, 8:31 am
watergirl wrote:
OP, I'm having a hard time understanding the entire issue because you've added in more details. It sounds to me like you are still getting the best deal with who you went with because you are getting more options from her included in the price.

For what it's worth, and I am not in Israel, I am making a simcha in the next few weeks and the caterer who is doing the kiddush (he does every shul event) said these are not normal times at all and his price keeps going up each time we talk. He's right, this is how it is in the stores for everyone.


I'm getting exactly the same as I would have gotten taking either of the first 2 choices, and one is exactly the same price and the other 2 shekel more.
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