Please help me sound genuine

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Mon, May 16 2022, 12:28 pm

I have a problem where I don't sound genuine when someone tells me something they got and I am telling them how excited I am for them. It grates on my ears, hearing myself Confused

Example: someone told me she got a new dining set. I have my own new dining set that I am thrilled with, I'm not jealous! But hearing myself tell her how excited I am for her, where did she get it, what does it look like (being excited with her etc etc) I just don't sound genuine, it comes out like I'm complimenting a 2 year old on a project Sad

Please help.

ShishKabob

Mon, May 16 2022, 12:32 pm

If you are really genuinely happy for her, it will come out sounding like that. Nothing more than I'm soo happy for you needs to be said. You can wish her to use it in good health and so on if you want.

Sesame

Mon, May 16 2022, 12:43 pm

I agree with the previous poster. The ppl you love will know you’re being genuine.

imasinger

Mon, May 16 2022, 12:45 pm

Sometimes, less is more. A simple, "wonderful, where did you get it?" in a lower pitched voice might work.

amother

Cappuccino

Mon, May 16 2022, 12:49 pm

Is it the questions you're asking, or is it your tone of voice? If you go high pitched and extend syllables like a kindergarten teacher, you'll sound fake no matter what you say.

Sometimes, "I'm so happy for you" sounds fake because it's too enthusiastic. If we're talking about furniture, rather than a major life event, a simpler, "That's great, it looks wonderful in the room. I love the upholstery," would go over better.

zaq

Mon, May 16 2022, 2:38 pm

My guess is you're gushing. Unless it's your very best friend who just got engaged (two weeks after your own wedding), gushing is excessive and sounds insincere at best, sarcastic at worst. Tone it down; nobody expects you to be "SOOO excited!!!!" about their furniture. "That's great, I'm so glad you found something nice!" in a pleased--not deliriously ecstatic-- tone sounds much more sincere than acting as if you just won the lottery.

amother

Mintcream

Tue, May 17 2022, 9:54 am

Be genuine, so you'll sound genuine. No reason to be SOOOO excited about someones new dishes. If you dont care, you can say. I dont know if the dishes example was theoretical, but why would you be that excited. Someone tells me they got dishes, I would probably say. Nice. me too. Let me see what you got (if I'm interested in what they got). If not I'd just say really nice. enjoy it.

zaq

Tue, May 17 2022, 10:21 am

No need to be nasty, mintcream. Don't tell someone you don't care- if she's already telling you about it, she obviously wants a pleasant response. If it were someone I really couldn't care less about, let's say that boring neighbor who drones on and on and I always have to claim an urgent need for the bathroom to get away from her, I'd leave it at "Wonderful, use them in good health!" as I'm racing away. If it were a good friend, I'd ask for some details about the new acquisition, since a person who acquires something new gets pleasure from talking about it.

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