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Living below our means
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amother
Peru


 

Post Fri, May 20 2022, 3:18 pm
Suffered for so long with a husband who was over worried I would spend all his money. I didn't spend at all. Finally when baby started school I started working and now I have my own money. He pays major bills. I pay all clothing and grocery and take out if I want. Every so often I ask him for money for something, just because, and his anxiety level skyrockets.
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nicole81




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 20 2022, 3:36 pm
amother [ Gardenia ] wrote:
Do the breakdown.
250k is 21k per month. That’s more than enough if u are spending responsibly.


21k pretax is hardly enough for one tuition in most places, let alone basic living expenses.
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amother
Daphne


 

Post Fri, May 20 2022, 3:48 pm
nicole81 wrote:
21k pretax is hardly enough for one tuition in most places, let alone basic living expenses.

Per month
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Fri, May 20 2022, 5:04 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Currently no one who was on Medicaid before COVID is getting kicked off, due to the federal public health emergency.


That’s great for you but a little annoying to hear as someone paying a ton of taxes.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Fri, May 20 2022, 5:32 pm
Me and my husband are both very frugal and hate to spend money. My husband will basically never spend anything, but I'm more flexible. However, his mindset doesn't come at my expense. Meaning, he doesn't object to me spending and he will spend on me. Since your husband (it sounds like) cares about you, tbe fact that your husband can't let you make your own decisions means that he CANT. That's not to say it's okay, just that it's a real issue which he may not be able to change easily.
My best recommendation is that maybe he will relate to this better than a budget for extras: any purchase under $50 (or amount you decide) is okay AND you will make sure that you save at least $5K/60% per month (or amount you decide).
I know you said you show him how much you save last month, but it sounds like he worries about the future and about (small and large) unexpected expenses rather than about the total savings and about large planned expenses.
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nicole81




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 20 2022, 5:50 pm
amother [ Daphne ] wrote:
Per month


Whoops yes, slow moment here LOL Nevertheless, it can still get tight real fast. I think op said she netted somewhere around 180, which is 15k/month. I know for my kids, full tuition is 11k/month and most of my kids are not in expensive schools. 4k might be enough in NY for housing and food and definitely not enough for extras like vacation or even coffees to go.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sat, May 21 2022, 5:44 pm
OP would your husband learn with you? I really think a focus on Bitachon will help his ease control on the $ as well as not being so tough on himself. Then next time when he's in a situation like taking the wrong train he'll be able to focus on the fact that HKB"H is guiding him, he made a mistake and doesn't need to punish himself, he needs to accept that it's meant for him to spend and extra few $.
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