Divorcees without kids

amother

Blush

Thu, May 26 2022, 4:41 pm

If you lasted less than a year, how long did you know each other before you got engaged and did your parents or he pressure you to get engaged? Did your ex change after the wedding or did you find out things that he was able to keep hidden before? At what point did you realize it wasn't going to work?

singleagain

Thu, May 26 2022, 4:59 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

For me.

I had dated him for a year.

And we were married 11 months

Around six or seven months after marriage I quit my job and fell into depression and it was really bad and I was in denial and refused to get help and he exploded and even after I got the help he wasn't willing to really try that's the story that was from my perspective

At some point in the marriage he had checked out and was not interested in checking back in

I wasn't going to force him to try I didn't want someone who felt forced

WitchKitty

Thu, May 26 2022, 5:04 pm

I was divorced with no kids.
Married at 19, lasted 23 months. I was divorced for a bit over 2 years.
It was hard. You kind of don't belong anywhere. You know what it's like to be married, but aren't, and don't have any kids to occupy you.
I remember when I got engaged to my current husband and I was just in shock, I never actually believed there was someone out there in the world for me... But there is.
There is for everyone, somewhere.

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, May 26 2022, 5:45 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

Are you divorced or just curious?

amother

Cerulean

Sat, May 28 2022, 11:56 pm

I was divorced after a few weeks, and then a young single but was married for a while…

Bh now remarried but hugs to you guys. Ultimately those were some of my hardest but best years- took a hard job I wouldn’t be able to do now, saved money, travel (the hard part was definitely finding the friends… but went a few times with parent or sibling also)

amother

Skyblue

Sun, May 29 2022, 12:09 pm

Hi
I was divorced after 6 months of marriage. Divorced for about 2 years, got remarried about 6 months ago, bh happier now then I ever could have imagined.
The stage of being divorced had its own challenges. I was 20 when I got married, so when I came back, I still had a lot of single friends, but I wasn't in the same category as them. I didn't really know so many other people in my situation. I used the time I was divorced to heal, therapy, get a good job, and be supported by family and friends, and grow, but it was definitely hard. Dating, once I decided I was ready and wanted to, was also hard- it seemed like there weren't any normal guys. Then bH I met my dh, who went through a similar situation, and like me, he grew from it. I guess I'm posting to tell u guys I'm here for you, understand you, and it does get better!

amother

Ruby

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:09 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Heya

I saw a few divorcees without kids comment on some threads today, and I’m wondering how many of us there actually are here.

I see I’m not the only one that feels out of place with the divorced moms and with the single girls, cuz we’re not exactly either one of those…
I feel like I’m dangling somewhere in the middle.

anyhoo, feel free to say hi.

I’m sorry for your pain. But even though it’s small comfort, know that it’s SO much easier going through a divorce without kids than with! The issues of custody and everything else with having to share time with a (sometimes) monster, and everything that goes along with it, it’s horrifically painful!

amother

Sun, May 29 2022, 2:43 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

Oh I know that.
And I think everyone else on this thread knows that.
I thank Hashem every day that I didnt have kids with my ex. That I didnt have to deal with custody battles, that I never have to see or talk to my ex again.
But thats exactly why I started this thread. b/c while our divorce stories can't "compare" to those with children involved (I put that in quotations cuz I dont think you can really compare pain, every story is different and comes along with its own challenges) we have our own unique struggles that single moms or older singles dont have.

we know exactly how our stories couldve been different or "harder". I dont think theres a need to remind us.

amother

Fri, Jun 03 2022, 1:15 am

hey guys
how everyone

is anyone here going to this sister to sister event for young divorcees in lakewood next week?
I have some stuff that night so I don't think I'm gonna go, but wondering if I'll be missing out...

amother

Stone

Fri, Jun 03 2022, 1:55 am

I am now remarried bh but was divorced without kids after a few weeks of marriage.
It’s true that divorce is so much harder and more complicated with kids, but even if I knew I was being unreasonable, I sometimes in those three years wished I had had a kid before divorcing, longing for a child is a separate loneliness.
I also felt like I don’t belong at places like sister to sister as I am basically just an older single, not a single mom, not one who was married for a while… I kept up with my friends who were all married and am happy I did.

amother

Fri, Jun 03 2022, 1:59 am

amother [ Stone ] wrote:

I also felt like I don’t belong at places like sister to sister as I am basically just an older single, not a single mom, not one who was married for a while… I kept up with my friends who were all married and am happy I did.

yep yep and yep.
thats why I'm not desperate to go to this sister to sister event, I think I'll feel out of place there anyway, so I'm not gonna rework my schedule to fit it in...

happy for u that ur past this already Smile

amother

Gladiolus

Fri, Jun 03 2022, 2:01 am

I wish I can go back in time and be a single divorcee.
But alas I stayed in the marriage and struggle every day.

You are all so strong. Having done what was best for you while you were young.
Not everyone has the strength to make the right choices at that age.

Whatever your story is, you have my support. 👍🏻

amother

Navy

Fri, Jun 03 2022, 3:25 am

amother [ Stone ] wrote:

I have a friend who says she was so grateful she had 2 kids before getting divorced. They were her focus and got her through the days and years. By the time she got remarried it was too late for her to have more children.

amother

Lightcyan

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 2:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think I'm gonna go. It's specifically for girls without kids, or maybe with one kid. I'd love to meet some of you there.