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Did your life turn out the way you thought it would?
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Did your life turn out the way you thought it would?
Yes  
 16%  [ 32 ]
No  
 76%  [ 150 ]
Other  
 7%  [ 15 ]
Total Votes : 197



Not_in_my_town




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2022, 7:07 pm
amother [ Maize ] wrote:
Wow. May Hashem give you koach!!


Thank you. That means a lot.

One other fascinating life tidbit: Remember the Arab teenager that was killed after the three Israeli boys were kidnapped? I lived in the same house with him. Muhammed Abu-Khdeir. My mother married his uncle... She thought a Jew and an Arab marrying was the ultimate tikkun olam...

(Happens to be Muhammed was a really sweet kid and his family was not anti-Jewish. They were really nice to me, happens to be, when I was a kid walking around their house with a magen david necklace...)
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amother
Black


 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2022, 8:35 pm
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
I had very low hasagos before I got married. All I wanted was to marry a NORMAL person, and BH that's what I got.

I never wanted a large family, but not too small either. BH so far we're on that track.

DH and I definitely don't have the blissful marriage I envisioned, but we're doing better than my parents so that's a win.

I'm still working at the same place I started out.

I knew we were going to own a home, so we worked towards that, saving dollar upon dollar until we were able to stretch ourselves that little bit more to buy. We bought a really dumpy house, again because of my low expectations. I needed to own something, didn't matter what or where. Right now I would love to extend/renovate, but I never expected to, and it doesn't look like we'll get to it too soon or ever.

Sometimes I think my low expectations makes my life so plain jane and humdrum. I want to make it big one way or another, whether I become famous at a certain job, or we become fabulously wealthy, own a huge fancy home, travel extensively whether for work or pleasure, or I start some volunteer organization... something to feel like "I made it" in this world.

But then I tell myself boring is good. Being in the public eye has its own difficulties. If I can "make it" in this thing called LIFE, who needs anything more. I try my best to bring in parnassah, to be a good mother and good wife. It's hard for me to do these things considering my upbringing and my personality, and still I don't give up. That's something. That's everything. Putting one foot in front of the other should get a lot more credit and be considered a lot more successful than all of the flashy things I think I want.
wow. Post of the week. Thank you.
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amother
Lemonlime


 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2022, 8:38 pm
amother [ DarkKhaki ] wrote:
I think that as long as a person is in a good marriage then there is inner peace which makes you feel good and fulfilled. unless someone is dealing with a crisis like a terminal illness, infertility, a child going off the derech… being in a loving marriage makes life wonderful and even if life didn’t turn out exactly as one thought it would (it never does) the security of a good relationship makes everything better. (I don’t have that …)

Beautifully said. Couldn't agree with you more.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2022, 8:43 pm
Not_in_my_town wrote:
I couldn't even imagine what life would be like in the future when I was a child.

Lived in 20+ places before I was 20, mother divorced and then married an Arab, moved us to Shuafat to her husband's Arab family's house, almost married off my sister to a bedouin when she was 14....

Then I ran away from home and became frum, but before that I spent time around the leader in the Messianic movement and am now working on being able to combat the scourge of missionary attempts, using the info I gained.

Started first in Chabad, then lived in the Yeshivish community, then went far-right chasidishe.
Found Chabad is the healthiest of all forms of Judaism and want to raise my kids with that more balanced approach. Found the ultra chasidishe world to be extremely unhealthy in many ways, but full of sincerely intentioned people.

Thought I would marry the person who I was convinced was my soul mate, but that fell through. Got married to a guy I met at a beshow. Married him 7 months later after seeing him a total of 3 times.

Spent almost 15 years being neglected and misunderstood, though he's a guy with a good hard who just has a lot of trauma from abuse that I only recently learned about. Marriage was built upon lies and lies and lies.

Everything being torn apart and re-evaluated for what it is now.

Despite all the pain and hardships, I am thankful that I'm going through hell now, because it made me stop being a wishy-washy wimp and learn to stand up for myself.

No one is allowed to de-self me, no matter if they call themselves a rebitzin or my husband.

Hashem created me as me, and it is me I will be.

I'm not weird because I love dogs.

I'm not evil because I now drive a car.

I actively choose Hashem every day of my life, and Hashem wants us to be normal and balanced.

I've learned to stop looking down on other people from other walks of life. We are all on our own journeys.

Oh, and though I always wanted to be a writer as a child, I never imagined that I would be a very popular writer for one of the most heimishe magazines around. And I am.

And people tell me all the time, "What you're a BT? I can usually sniff them out...."

There is no "them." There is just "us". There is just "me".

I don't need a label. And I don't need to blend in with the community in order to prove my worth anymore. I used to hide my BTness behind a synthetic wig and a hat, because I felt ashamed of my BTness. But why?

I'm just a Jew doing what a Jew should be doing.

I'm unique, and happy with that fact now, because I've grown.

I have no clue what life holds in store for me, but I assume there will be plenty more surprises.


Wow. This is incredible. You should write a book about your experiences. You write beautifully and your story is mind blowing.
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amother
Dahlia


 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2022, 8:56 pm
Not_in_my_town wrote:
I couldn't even imagine what life would be like in the future when I was a child.

Lived in 20+ places before I was 20, mother divorced and then married an Arab, moved us to Shuafat to her husband's Arab family's house, almost married off my sister to a bedouin when she was 14....

Then I ran away from home and became frum, but before that I spent time around the leader in the Messianic movement and am now working on being able to combat the scourge of missionary attempts, using the info I gained.

Started first in Chabad, then lived in the Yeshivish community, then went far-right chasidishe.
Found Chabad is the healthiest of all forms of Judaism and want to raise my kids with that more balanced approach. Found the ultra chasidishe world to be extremely unhealthy in many ways, but full of sincerely intentioned people.

Thought I would marry the person who I was convinced was my soul mate, but that fell through. Got married to a guy I met at a beshow. Married him 7 months later after seeing him a total of 3 times.

Spent almost 15 years being neglected and misunderstood, though he's a guy with a good hard who just has a lot of trauma from abuse that I only recently learned about. Marriage was built upon lies and lies and lies.

Everything being torn apart and re-evaluated for what it is now.

Despite all the pain and hardships, I am thankful that I'm going through hell now, because it made me stop being a wishy-washy wimp and learn to stand up for myself.

No one is allowed to de-self me, no matter if they call themselves a rebitzin or my husband.

Hashem created me as me, and it is me I will be.

I'm not weird because I love dogs.

I'm not evil because I now drive a car.

I actively choose Hashem every day of my life, and Hashem wants us to be normal and balanced.

I've learned to stop looking down on other people from other walks of life. We are all on our own journeys.

Oh, and though I always wanted to be a writer as a child, I never imagined that I would be a very popular writer for one of the most heimishe magazines around. And I am.

And people tell me all the time, "What you're a BT? I can usually sniff them out...."

There is no "them." There is just "us". There is just "me".

I don't need a label. And I don't need to blend in with the community in order to prove my worth anymore. I used to hide my BTness behind a synthetic wig and a hat, because I felt ashamed of my BTness. But why?

I'm just a Jew doing what a Jew should be doing.

I'm unique, and happy with that fact now, because I've grown.

I have no clue what life holds in store for me, but I assume there will be plenty more surprises.


Wow! You sound amazing!
I wish I can meet you in IRL and hear you talk about your life
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gigi




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 09 2022, 1:02 am
Not_in_my_town wrote:
I couldn't even imagine what life would be like in the future when I was a child.

Lived in 20+ places before I was 20, mother divorced and then married an Arab, moved us to Shuafat to her husband's Arab family's house, almost married off my sister to a bedouin when she was 14....

Then I ran away from home and became frum, but before that I spent time around the leader in the Messianic movement and am now working on being able to combat the scourge of missionary attempts, using the info I gained.

Started first in Chabad, then lived in the Yeshivish community, then went far-right chasidishe.
Found Chabad is the healthiest of all forms of Judaism and want to raise my kids with that more balanced approach. Found the ultra chasidishe world to be extremely unhealthy in many ways, but full of sincerely intentioned people.

Thought I would marry the person who I was convinced was my soul mate, but that fell through. Got married to a guy I met at a beshow. Married him 7 months later after seeing him a total of 3 times.

Spent almost 15 years being neglected and misunderstood, though he's a guy with a good hard who just has a lot of trauma from abuse that I only recently learned about. Marriage was built upon lies and lies and lies.

Everything being torn apart and re-evaluated for what it is now.

Despite all the pain and hardships, I am thankful that I'm going through hell now, because it made me stop being a wishy-washy wimp and learn to stand up for myself.

No one is allowed to de-self me, no matter if they call themselves a rebitzin or my husband.

Hashem created me as me, and it is me I will be.

I'm not weird because I love dogs.

I'm not evil because I now drive a car.

I actively choose Hashem every day of my life, and Hashem wants us to be normal and balanced.

I've learned to stop looking down on other people from other walks of life. We are all on our own journeys.

Oh, and though I always wanted to be a writer as a child, I never imagined that I would be a very popular writer for one of the most heimishe magazines around. And I am.

And people tell me all the time, "What you're a BT? I can usually sniff them out...."

There is no "them." There is just "us". There is just "me".

I don't need a label. And I don't need to blend in with the community in order to prove my worth anymore. I used to hide my BTness behind a synthetic wig and a hat, because I felt ashamed of my BTness. But why?

I'm just a Jew doing what a Jew should be doing.

I'm unique, and happy with that fact now, because I've grown.

I have no clue what life holds in store for me, but I assume there will be plenty more surprises.


You sound like an awesome, interesting, fantastic person. exactly like someone I wish I could be friends with
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 09 2022, 5:00 am
gigi wrote:
You sound like an awesome, interesting, fantastic person. exactly like someone I wish I could be friends with


Chaverim kol Yisroel!
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Thu, Jun 09 2022, 6:49 am
Not_in_my_town wrote:
Thank you. That means a lot.

One other fascinating life tidbit: Remember the Arab teenager that was killed after the three Israeli boys were kidnapped? I lived in the same house with him. Muhammed Abu-Khdeir. My mother married his uncle... She thought a Jew and an Arab marrying was the ultimate tikkun olam...

(Happens to be Muhammed was a really sweet kid and his family was not anti-Jewish. They were really nice to me, happens to be, when I was a kid walking around their house with a magen david necklace...)

That is insane
Can we get a full life story one day?????? Please
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Not_in_my_town




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 09 2022, 6:54 am
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
That is insane
Can we get a full life story one day?????? Please


I've been thinking about serializing it in a magazine and then putting it out in book form.

I'm toying with the idea. Maybe not quite yet...

There are so many fascinating details... Like the time my mother tried to move us to an Indian reservation.... LOL

Sounds like lots of us have interesting stories on this thread. I'm sure many books can be written.
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Ima_Shelli




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 09 2022, 7:05 am
Not_in_my_town wrote:
Thank you. That means a lot.

One other fascinating life tidbit: Remember the Arab teenager that was killed after the three Israeli boys were kidnapped? I lived in the same house with him. Muhammed Abu-Khdeir. My mother married his uncle... She thought a Jew and an Arab marrying was the ultimate tikkun olam...

(Happens to be Muhammed was a really sweet kid and his family was not anti-Jewish. They were really nice to me, happens to be, when I was a kid walking around their house with a magen david necklace...)


A Jewish friend of mine knew the family extremely well too and had interacted with them on a professional level. So tragic all around.
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