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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
11 year old DD and hair removal.
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amother
Azalea


 

Post Thu, Jun 16 2022, 2:09 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
I found nair cream to be a good solution for my 11 year old for her upper lip, it is painless and does the job. She shaves her legs with a razor whenever the hair gets noticeable and she has to wear a coverup for swimming in camp so I don’t have to worry about that. My daughter was self conscious about the hair, that’s why I addressed it.


Can you tell me which one she uses and how to use it. My dd has a dark mustache and I want to offer her an option besides waxing (I don’t think she’ll want to wax).
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amother
Narcissus


 

Post Thu, Jun 16 2022, 3:10 pm
beadazzled wrote:
Jolene is terrible. Who wants a blonde mustache?
A girl in my class had a darker complexion and walked around with a blonde mustache.
It looked ridiculous.
I did not want my daughter being bullied.
The mustache waxing took 20 seconds, the eyebrow 2 seconds (just the middle so she could have 2 eyebrows).
Kids are ruthless and mean. No need for a girl to get bullied over this.


I totally agree about preventing bullying/teasing. Re Jolene it depends on how thick the hair is. My hair wasn’t that thick so when I bleached it you couldn’t see it. If it was thick then yeah I agree bleaching isn’t the answer. Now I tweeze because that’s the easiest for me. But I’d feel bad subjecting my little girl to physical pain and making her get waxings.
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amother
Stoneblue


 

Post Thu, Jun 16 2022, 3:15 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My just turned 11 year old DD has a moderate amount of hair growing on her underarms and legs. (She also has some upper lip hair and always had a unibrow)

Now that daycamp is coming, I am trying to figure out, at what age to I push her to shave? Or take care of her facial hair? Shes very chilled when it comes to social pressure, and somewhat clueless. I don't know if and when she would decide to on her own.

I just want to make sure she is doing what is socially acceptable, but without pushing it on her too soon. I live in lakewood, if that matters.

Also, does anyone have a good recommendation for a beginners razer that won't cause nicks?

Let her try wax strips or cream as well. Prewaxed strips don’t hurt as much as a salon waxing. The hair doesn’t grow back as fast as it does with a razor.
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chanatron1000




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 16 2022, 9:39 pm
"People are mean, so give in to their demands before they even directly express them" is not the message you should be giving your children.
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amother
Carnation


 

Post Thu, Jun 16 2022, 9:47 pm
Quote:
"People are mean, so give in to their demands before they even directly express them" is not the message you should be giving your children.

But why in the world not if it means ensuring your child's self esteem stays intact. Kids are going to bully and say mean things, that's kids. Why not preempt it by making sure your child doesn't give them extra reasons to be picked on.
I don't think that negates teaching them self confidence. You can do both at the same time
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chanatron1000




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 16 2022, 10:22 pm
Your kids' self-esteem is not actually intact if it relies on compliance.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 12:29 pm
chanatron1000 wrote:
Your kids' self-esteem is not actually intact if it relies on compliance.


Compliance is required to a certain extent, unless you don't care about the belonging to society.

Theres a balance that we need hold between "we should NEVER care what anyone thinks" and "impressions are all that matters"

We as humans do thrive on interdependence and connection. Babys die without love, right? And judaism is all about community. To a certain extent you need go along with social norms, to be a part of humanity. You wouldn't go outside with your shirt intentionally inside out.

Finding the right balance of how far to go to "fit in" or "stand out" I think is something everyone one struggles with to a certain extent.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 12:34 pm
amother [ Crocus ] wrote:
What’s the simplest way to remove hair sticking out of underwear? Waxing that area is so painful..

I always recommend this for preteens
observer wrote:
Great shaver for teens:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004....._page

It's electric- uses batteries. Can be done on dry skin out of the shower. Takes off the hair easily and doesn't nick or cut skin.
It's not that close to the skin which is why adults use razors. But it's really close enough. It's even great for adult bikini area if someone is sensitive and cannot handle the closer razors that cause ingrowns in that particular area.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 12:46 pm
chanatron1000 wrote:
Your kids' self-esteem is not actually intact if it relies on compliance.



By the way this is something that my incredibly dysfunctional mother would say. That we should never cave to peer pressure.

I did not have have acceptable clothing or hygiene as a kid. Teachers and principals would call me to the side to tell me why what my mother made me wear was inappropriate. People would donate clothing by dropping it on our porch and my mother would put it to the curb with the trash. I could tell you more horror stories.

I was bullied and grew up in complete social isolation and shame, and as an adult I still dont know how to make real friends.

Im sure you are not as crazy as my mother. But just some food for thaught about your opinion that "compliance" is the opposite of self worth. Maybe sometime its a vital part of self respect.

Sorry for the vent
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amother
Crocus


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 1:32 pm
ra_mom wrote:
It's electric- uses batteries. Can be done on dry skin out of the shower. Takes off the hair easily and doesn't nick or cut skin.
It's not that close to the skin which is why adults use razors. But it's really close enough. It's even great for adult bikini area if someone is sensitive and cannot handle the closer razors that cause ingrowns in that particular area.
Thanks! Much appreciated! For now I bought her the shorts you recommended on a different thread but will buy her this as well. 😀
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mommyhood




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 1:52 pm
My dd started shaving underarms and legs at 11 which is when it became obvious. I presented is as something she should do but never forced or commented if she went longer than I might choose in between shaving. She chose shorts with her bathing suits rather than dealing with any hair sticking out of the regular bathing suit. That seems to be the standard in the camps she’s gone to.
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