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Forum -> Working Women
When to tell employer about divorce?



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 9:42 am
Is there any reason to disclose this before everything is final?
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 9:44 am
Which piece might affect your job? New address? More childcare concerns/different schedule? New name?

Figure out what matters professionally, and share that enough in advance for work to run smoothly.

If it's all about the social relationship with boss or colleagues, share when you feel ready.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:07 am
Unless you need to change your health insurance dependents, beneficiaries, and the like, there is no need to tell your employer anything. Your marital status is none of his business.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:08 am
If you need some time off or want him to be understanding if you’re late or on the phone more than the normal it may be wise to let him know.
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amother
Moccasin


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:10 am
No.
I like to keep things separate and private.
No need to tell them and have them be concerned it will affect performance or their perception of you and/or your performance.
While some people are only sympathetic I play it cautious. It is your private business and can think of no reason you are under any obligation to share anything unless you wish to for some reason. One of the best responses I ever get is "I would never have known! Never would've guessed!"
Hugs and Hatzlocha
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:16 am
I prefer not to say but I thought my marital status is relevant for tax purposes?
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amother
Purple


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:20 am
It's relevant for YOUR taxes. The only business your employer has with your taxes is giving you the the relevant paperwork so you can file your taxes. That's it.

Do you anticipate needing to miss a lot of work for court dates? Then I might give the boss a heads up. Does your work have after-hours events to which spouses are typically invited and you have in the past brought your husband? Ok, also might be nice to give people a heads up. Otherwise, no reason you need to share if you don't want to.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:22 am
amother [ Purple ] wrote:
It's relevant for YOUR taxes. The only business your employer has with your taxes is giving you the the relevant paperwork so you can file your taxes. That's it.

Do you anticipate needing to miss a lot of work for court dates? Then I might give the boss a heads up. Does your work have after-hours events to which spouses are typically invited and you have in the past brought your husband? Ok, also might be nice to give people a heads up. Otherwise, no reason you need to share if you don't want to.


So does that mean that I NEVER need to share this? Or just not yet?
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amother
Jade


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:52 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So does that mean that I NEVER need to share this? Or just not yet?


I can’t think of why you’d ever HAVE to share it
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amother
Oxfordblue


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 10:58 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I prefer not to say but I thought my marital status is relevant for tax purposes?


Once you have your legal divorce (which can take a few months from after you file for divorce) you should let your payroll/hr people know so that the you’re getting paid as single.
Besides that I don’t think you need to say anything if you don’t want to.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 11:02 am
If you have an HR portal, you can login and change your W4 on your own regarding your change of dependants.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 12:39 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So does that mean that I NEVER need to share this? Or just not yet?


You never need to share it if you really don't want to. But practically, it will probably come up eventually. It sounds like people at work are aware you're married. I know some people are very rigid about keeping work and personal 100% separate, but the fact is, most people generally know if their colleagues are partnered or have children, even if they know little else. At some point, something is going to make it obvious your situation has changed. So there's nothing wrong with never saying anything, but just be aware that you'll probably eventually find yourself in a situation where it comes up.
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amother
Lightgreen


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 12:46 pm
I unfortunately told my frum boss and he treated me like trash and paid me late. He still owes me money.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 6:04 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I prefer not to say but I thought my marital status is relevant for tax purposes?


Not as far as your boss is concerned. You can change the number of exemptions you claim on your W-4, and you can ask for withholding at the higher single rate even if you're married. All the w-4 does is set how much of your pay your employer withholds. If you regularly owe taxes, you may want to withhold at the single rate even if you're married so that you owe less at the end of the year. So changing your w-4 doesn't mean zip about your marital status, and if your boss asks about it, which is none of his business and probably illegal, you don't have to tell him anything. Or if you feel obliged to say something, you can just say that your accountant advised changing the w-4.
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newmom1987




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 6:06 pm
I didn’t tell my employer until it was all done because I didn’t want any mistake I made to be attributed to personal problems.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 6:21 pm
You don't ever have to say anything to anyone at work. It's not their business and they have no right to this information. You share what you want to share--if anything--and keep the rest to yourself.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Sun, Jun 19 2022, 6:22 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So does that mean that I NEVER need to share this? Or just not yet?


That's right - NEVER. There's absolutely no need for your boss or workmates to know this info. Having to change your W4 information is also not a reason to have to inform people. People change their W4 all the time. Even married couples can opt to file single at any time for a number of reasons. People subtract dependents also at any given time, to adjust the amount of taxes they're paying (I.e. sometimes people want to pay in more upfront, and then get a bigger refund later).

There is no work related reason to have to offer up this info. So if you don't want to, just don't offer it up.
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