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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club
My Very Final Nerve: A Hesped, Kind Of
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 1:59 am
amother [ Pearl ] wrote:
OP, I'm so sorry you feel like this - but OMG what a brilliant piece of writing!


Thanks!!
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 4:47 am
amother [ Electricblue ] wrote:
Amazing.
I'm disillusioned too.
Fighting for my sanity in a crazy world.
Just hoping that it's them who're crazy and not me...


Oh, it’s DEFINITELY them. Rest assured.

Big huge hugs. Hold your last nerve tight and give it my warmest wishes.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 5:03 am
You up too, kiwi?
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 5:04 am
I shouldn’t be, but yeah…

Need to sleep. Putting away my phone (for real now). I’ll check back soon, Bli neder!
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 5:26 am
Reminded me of the Schadenfreude song from Avenue Q.
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EBY




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 6:12 am
I love love love your poem! You are so clever! This seriously brightened my day. Thank you .
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runninglate




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 9:51 am
Wow, I’m sorry you feel that way! But I just wanted to tell you I’m blown away by your talent! That poem is awesome!!!
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 10:19 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Thank you for your warm wishes. It means a lot to me. I still terrified and still can't stop crying, but I'm better.

I prayed. I told God that I believe that he's good, that I believe he can and does take care of me. I trust that this must be good for us.

It would have been easy to fight with my husband. His pride is wounded, and where fear and sadness make me weepy, he gets caveman cold and silent. I told him that he better not be blaming himself, beating himself up. I told him that I'd rather be his girl, and poor, than rich with anyone else. We're strong and smart and not afraid of hard work, and we have each other. We're really lucky. There's a lot here that no one can take away from us.

I cuddled my kids, and put them to bed. We're giving them parents who love each other and love them. Maybe one day we'll also have material things to give them, but for now, I trust that we are enough.


You re my role model. Hug Hug Hug
Thank you, kiwi, for hosting this wonderful message, and for your energy and brilliance. May you continue to have energy and perspective. Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 10:24 am
Kiwi13 wrote:
You’re a lot more graceful than I’ve been recently. Kol HaKavod to you for your approach to literally all of this. Prayer, marriage, motherhood, Emunah, etc etc. WOW. I’m very inspired. (And a little jealous.) You sound like an amazing, truly special person.


OK, you can add more graceful to the list of things you aspire to. But there's a LOT on the list of who you are right now that's aspirational for many of us reading this.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 10:25 am
Kiwi13 wrote:


B”H I have a tiny bit of renewed hope right now. Hope of any size holds strong for as long as it can. IyH this bit will take me over the Aliyah finish line…

I’m coming NEXT MONTH!!!!!!!! 😳😍🤯😜❤️


Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray Hooray
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honeymoon




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 10:39 am
Kiwi, your poem is absolutely spectacular. The rhythm is utter perfection.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 17 2022, 11:10 am
sequoia wrote:
Reminded me of the Schadenfreude song from Avenue Q.


Avenue Q is the BEST!!! 🤩
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InnerMe




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 1:56 pm
Kiwi13 wrote:
OMG I gotta go find you a copy of a parody I did on that once!

Okay, awesome - it’s still in my phone from a few years back… I made this into an animated YouTube video also for Storytime Mommy (a parenting humor brand I run). (And by “run” I mean “started strong and then got sick and abandoned it.) I’ll be back though iyH. Actually just this week I put out a new book in the series on Amazon. B”H moving forward day by day…

Anyway, here’s the poem:

The Smells (The Bells)

Here to ask me if it smells?
Yes, it smells!
Oh, the dank, malodorous disaster it foretells.
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the day and in the night!
Yet their aim is but a sprinkle
And it forms another wrinkle
On my face, from left to right.
All the time, time, time,
I am aging past my prime,
From the trying tribulation - even spiders it repels!
Oh, the smells, smells, smells, smells, smells, smells, smells—
Oh, the tinkling and the mingling of the smells!

Care to ask me WHY it smells?
What the HELLS?
Never should this stench exist where anybody dwells!
How they giggle, giggle, giggle,
And will get what they deserve!
Leaving poop and urine squiggle
On my very final nerve!
All my boys, boys, boys,
Making messes, making noise!
But tomorrow, they will clean the stinky bathroom, Mommy yells.
All the smells, smells, smells, smells, smells, smells, smells—
Will be cleaned, you hear me? CLEAN UP ALL YOUR SMELLS!

Won’t you ask me WHERE it smells?
In hotels?
In a musty locker room, or in the drug cartels?
If you listen, listen, listen,
You will hear a house that’s clean.
How my silent toilets glisten
With a shiny, Clorox sheen!
No more flush, flush, flush,
From my children in a rush.
‘Cause I locked up all the bathrooms - there’s an outhouse by the dells
For the smells, smells, smells, smells, smells, smells, smells.
I have sanitized the agonizing smells!

__

Link to the video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=.....=325s

(Poem starts at 5:26)

Curious to hear your thoughts.


LOL LOL

This is hilarious!!! I remember actually having seen it on your channel a while back. (Maybe you posted about the channel, I don't remember... )

Seriously the best. Final nerve, or no final nerve (and I hope it is no final nerve) you GOTTA keep writing poetry.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 20 2022, 4:22 pm
InnerMe wrote:
LOL LOL

This is hilarious!!! I remember actually having seen it on your channel a while back. (Maybe you posted about the channel, I don't remember... )

Seriously the best. Final nerve, or no final nerve (and I hope it is no final nerve) you GOTTA keep writing poetry.


Thanks. I plan on it. If nothing else, it gets my angst out!

I’m also outlining a humor sci-fi novel about a top ranking realtor with funky ways of meeting her clients’ requirements. She only ever failed three of them. Ever.

Eh, so the picky ones with unrealistic budgets go missing from time to time? Tell me, who do YOU know, personally, who has ever gone missing while commissioning a sale to Vera Wilkins? Can’t name ‘em, can you? Exactly.

The secrets! The betrayal. The heartache and angst and what-the-heck! Four storylines, with seemingly nothing in common, weave together via their common thread: Vera. That funky realtor is always just… there.

But wait, you ask, how could that be?

That’s what Skip Mullet wants to know, and he fills the nursing home with conspiracy theories and tales of vengeance. Who’s in? So far just Dalton What’s-His-Face, and that’s not the kind of posse Skip was hoping to garner. Maybe if he can usurp the bingo mic from Betti Bourgeois he stands a chance at making his old tired voice HEARD. Maybe he can prove to his daughter he’s NOT a tired old loon after all. Tired, yes. Old, yes. Loon, no. What sweet vindication it would be if Jessica finally saw that Wilkins witch for her true dastardly ways! Why, maybe she’d start visiting again and maybe even fix his tablet (whose port Dalton drooled into a bit too heavily). Maybe she’d even forgive him for teaching his own toddler granddaughter a new word or two.

**

That’s a preview of one of the storylines, at least. In long, rambling form.

Side point: You know you’re in the thick of a stressful move when your novel’s villainess/heroine (which even IS she? Dun dun dun…) is a realtor.
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tryinghard




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 21 2022, 7:36 pm
Kiwi13 wrote:
Thanks. I plan on it. If nothing else, it gets my angst out!

I’m also outlining a humor sci-fi novel about a top ranking realtor with funky ways of meeting her clients’ requirements. She only ever failed three of them. Ever.

Eh, so the picky ones with unrealistic budgets go missing from time to time? Tell me, who do YOU know, personally, who has ever gone missing while commissioning a sale to Vera Wilkins? Can’t name ‘em, can you? Exactly.

The secrets! The betrayal. The heartache and angst and what-the-heck! Four storylines, with seemingly nothing in common, weave together via their common thread: Vera. That funky realtor is always just… there.

But wait, you ask, how could that be?

That’s what Skip Mullet wants to know, and he fills the nursing home with conspiracy theories and tales of vengeance. Who’s in? So far just Dalton What’s-His-Face, and that’s not the kind of posse Skip was hoping to garner. Maybe if he can usurp the bingo mic from Betti Bourgeois he stands a chance at making his old tired voice HEARD. Maybe he can prove to his daughter he’s NOT a tired old loon after all. Tired, yes. Old, yes. Loon, no. What sweet vindication it would be if Jessica finally saw that Wilkins witch for her true dastardly ways! Why, maybe she’d start visiting again and maybe even fix his tablet (whose port Dalton drooled into a bit too heavily). Maybe she’d even forgive him for teaching his own toddler granddaughter a new word or two.

**

That’s a preview of one of the storylines, at least. In long, rambling form.

Side point: You know you’re in the thick of a stressful move when your novel’s villainess/heroine (which even IS she? Dun dun dun…) is a realtor.


Yikes, an evil realtor? Wink
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 12:04 am
tryinghard wrote:
Yikes, an evil realtor? Wink


Oh, uhmmm… I mean, no no no… neverrr! Laugh
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 12:04 am
I for sure told you about this book, didn’t I?
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tryinghard




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 8:48 pm
Kiwi13 wrote:
I for sure told you about this book, didn’t I?

Nooooooo
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 22 2022, 9:19 pm
Pretty sure I did. Vera - she's got weird methods. I even gave you spoilers, I think!
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 23 2022, 1:09 am
I absolutely love the plot. I also appreciate that it's not horror/a thriller, as I'd love to read your writing but am rather allergic to the genre.
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